“Mr. Blackheart?” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, my pretty?” – Mr. Blackheart “Are you an ivory dealer?” – Lisa Simpson “Little girl, I’ve had lots of jobs in my day, whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the FOX Network, and like most people, yeah, I’ve dealt a little ivory.” – Mr. Blackheart A few weeks ago, a reader (thanks Steve!) e-mailed me with a PDF copy of an unpublished book written by a longtime television writer named Andrew Nicholls. Nicholls and Darrell Vickers, his writing partner, have been typing away for television since the 80s, including a number of recognizable titles…
Tag: Treehouse of Horror III
Paging G.E. Smith (Updated)
“So then his wife comes through the door!” – Homer Simpson “So?” – Bart Simpson “Did I mention she was dead?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, she was. And she hit him in the head with a golf club!” – Homer Simpson “And?” – Bart Simpson “Don’t you remember? He went golfing all the time and it really bugged her.” – Homer Simpson “You said he went bowling!” – Lisa Simpson “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson I’ve often compared Zombie Simpsons to bad sketch comedy, and “How Munched is That Birdie in the Window” is one of the…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, I heard we’re going Ape Island.” – Carl “Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.” – Lenny “Candy Apple Island, what do they got there?” – Charlie “Apes, but there not so big.” – Carl
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user skampy. “And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield’s air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly.” – Kent Brockman “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“From A-apple to Z-zebra, ‘Baby’s First Pop-up Book’ is twenty six pages of alphabetic adventure.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, do you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Well, most of it.” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Nancy Cartwright!
Zombie Simpsons Abandons Precedent
“Please Lis, they prefer to be called the ‘living impaired’.” – Bart Simpson Typically there are three segments to a Treehouse of Horror episode. (Discounting the opening with the monsters at the Halloween party, which was pointless filler if ever there was such a thing.) The first segment was basically a chase scene that had no jokes. The second segment was another zombie segment (that also had a chase scene that had no jokes). The third segment was a bizarre musical theater number that had, quite literally, nothing to do with Halloween with the exception of Kang and Kodos being…
Quote of the Day
“Hey Simpson! I’m feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?” – Zombie Flanders *gunshot* “Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!” – Bart Simpson “He was a zombie?” – Homer Simpson Halloween Zombie Simpsons tonight, brace yourselves and grab your shotguns.
Quote of the Day
“I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry!” – Martin Prince “No kidding.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“Well, I need something for my son’s birthday.” – Homer Simpson “Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse.” – House of Evil Owner “Ohh, that’s bad.” – Homer Simpson “But it comes with a free frogurt.” – House of Evil Owner “That’s good.” – Homer Simpson “The frogurt is also cursed.” – House of Evil Owner “That’s bad.” – Homer Simpson “But you get your choice of topping.” – House of Evil Owner “That’s good.” – Homer Simpson “The toppings contains potassium benzoate.” – House of Evil Owner “…” –…
Quote of the Day
“Good evening. I’ve been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, there are some crybabies out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now. C’mon, I dare you.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What do you think, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “I think women and seamen don’t mix.” – Mr. Smithers “We know what you think.” – C.M. Burns