“Grampa, why don’t you tell us a story. You’ve led an interesting life.” – Bart Simpson “That’s a lie and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies . . . ” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy Birthday Dan Castellaneta!
Tag: Treehouse of Horror III
Quote of the Day
“Find Waldo Yet Again . . . Man, he’s just not trying anymore.” – Bart Simpson Happy Birthday Nancy Cartwright!
Quote of the Day
“There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.” – Patty Bouvier
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Behold mighty Caesar, in all his glory!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Happy birthday, Bart!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Thanks, Grampa!” – Bart Simpson “Where’d you get all the money?” – Marge Simpson “The government. I didn’t earn it. I don’t need it. But if they miss one payment I’ll raise hell!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, kids, instead of candy I thought I’d serve an array of healthy, fresh fruits.” – Marge Simpson “Ohhh.” – Kids “Fruit is nature’s candy.” – Marge Simpson
Reading Digest: Ranking ToH Segments Edition
“What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns?” – Reporter “Well, the ape’s going to stand around for three hours or so. Then we’ll close with the ethnic comedy of Dugan and Dershowitz.” – C.M. Burns “Sensational!” – Reporter Happy Halloween, everybody! This week we’ve got a bunch of Treehouse of Horror related links, include quite a few to people who decided to list individual segments. As always, some are better than others and Zombie Simpsons only gets the occasional pity mention (if that). In addition we’ve got some live sightings of Simpsons clothing, video game ideas, cool tattoos, and a new food blog. Enjoy. Patented Space-Age Out of This World Moon Waffles – Someone actually made them. And it’s part of a new Simpsons food blog. And that blog is called “Eats Like a Duck”. Yes! Along came these two cool dudes…. – Some truly excellent Simpsons tattoos, including donut-headed Homer, Kirk van Houten’s album, the Space Coyote, and Scrabble letters. The Definitive List of the Best Simpsons Episodes Ever – This certainly isn’t definitive, but it’s a very good list and has lots of great YouTube. Five Simpsons Games that Need to Get Made – The kart racing idea pops up from time to time, and done right it would be excellent and have tons of things that put the Luigi Stare to shame. What Do You Think of the Simpsons World? – Let us hope that these things will be fixed: Not all the features FXX promised are up and coming yet, the video playback is not quite as consistent as that of Netflix or HBOGo, and most importantly, the show isn’t screened in its original 4:3 ratio, cropping the older episodes and hurting many of the sight gags (fortunately, FXX has promised these problems will be resolved soon). Have they actually said that they’re going to change the player to do 4:3? I don’t think I’ve seen that anywhere, and they seem really wedded to everything being widescreen. Simpsons World: Maybe Not The “Worst. App. Ever.” – One more very mixed review. Does Anybody Want the Last Homer? – A clever cartoon, possibly from the Planet of the Donuts. 13 great Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror Halloween stories – The only thing from Zombie Simpsons is “Night of the Dolphin”, which I’ve always kinda liked, so hooray for this list. The 9 Best Treehouse of Horror Segments According to Critics – Some schmuck from NPR picked a Zombie Simpsons segment, but other than that this one is great. Top 5 Halloween TV Episodes – Wisely, the kids at the University of Arizona didn’t try to cram all the Treehouse of Horrors in, they just said watch ’em. Spooky Wednesday List: Top 5 Halloween Specials – This one just recommends “Treehouse of Horror V”, but sagely points out that there are many more. Big Ten Power Poll: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Edition – Two of these are from Zombie Simpsons, but it’s mostly very good. (And, dear god, does Michigan need access to a time machine.) The Raven…
Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXV
“Stupid party, wish we was trick or treatin’.” – Bart Simpson The annual Halloween episode tends to be pretty bland in the hands of Zombie Simpsons, and this year was no different. The first story was about Bart going to school in Hell, where he does better than he used to do at Springfield Elementary. The second is a bunch of meandering references to Stanley Kubrick movies that ends with Kubrick himself staring right at the camera for some reason. The third one involved the old Tracey Ullman versions of the characters being ghosts. – Give them this, if they’re going to sneak in Kang and Kodos for no reason, at least this opening didn’t take too long. – Oof, this thing about “penal”, “penile” and “penis” was probably funnier when it was doodled on an actual fourth grader’s notebook. – Hey, now Lisa’s here. – The Hell chalkboard punishment “Eternal Torment Is The Only Just Punishment for the Unbaptized” is pretty good . . . and they didn’t even read it off to us! Happy Halloween! – But it didn’t last long. Lisa just explained to us that snow is cold. – Then Bart told us how he’s feeling about his teacher. – The “Burns Hellport” wasn’t terrible. – Guh, even in Halloween episodes though, we’re reminded of how cushy and comfortable the writers have gotten. Homer just went on a rant about private schools sending parents twenty e-mails a day. I bet they also hate it when your worthless butler washes your sock garters but they’re still covered with schmutz. – And now Hell-Chalmers is expositing pointlessly. – The montage didn’t even take too long. – So, this thing with Bart torturing Homer was supposed to be some kind of ending? Even here they need exposition: Bart: That’s my Dad, I can’t hurt him. Homer: No, boy, I want you to do it. Bart: What, why? Homer: Bart, you went to Hell and came back a winner, like Jesus. Tedious crap like this is why even when they do manage some decent jokes, these segments will always be bland and unmemorable. “Hell School” is a decent enough little concept, but they can’t give it a coherent plot or not spend time explaining the jokes even in just seven minutes of runtime. – For a show that got a little pious over Family Guy‘s rape joke, this “In-out” thing sure goes on a long time. – Moe’s cutesy narrator language is already grating: “Everything was all fish and chippie until Dum collected himself a twiggy-wick” – The montage in the first segment didn’t take too long. This one . . . not so much. Homer just bounces around his room for a while. – And we’re back to explaining things. Homer’s going to marry Marge, then Moe asks a rhetorical question/joke setup, then Marge explains things. – I get that this segment is just a scattershot of Kubrick references, but it kinda undercuts the joke of Moe being forced…
Quote of the Day
“My baloney has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R. My baloney has a second name it’s H-O-M-E-R….Ahhh!” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Play Reviews Edition
“I’m dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.” – C.M. Burns Last week I mentioned that the post-apocalypse Mr. Burns play was opening in London. Well, London being something of a theater loving town, we have a deluge of reviews this week. Most are quite positive, some are decidedly not, but I suppose that’s life in showbiz. In addition to that, the merchandising march continues, a couple of Simpsons alums do some charity work, there’s quite a bit of excellent usage, and people keep finding creative ways to use the Lego figures. Enjoy. Family Guy vs. Simpsons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a novel comparison. It’s not about the shows, it’s about the freemium games and compares pretty much every aspect of them. Simpsonesque : Douglas Coupland – “Worst. Person. Ever.” – There’s an actual novel called “Worst. Person. Ever”, which inspired this: I suppose we’ve culturally transcended the point where Shakespeare or the Bible were good places to look for titles. It’s “The Simpsons”‘ turn to shine. I took a lot at some popular literary categories I use in this blog, and here are “Simpsons”-inspired titles for them. There are some pretty good ones. I’m fond of the “Romance” category getting “Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover” and “Theater” being “Is This the End of Zombie Shakespeare?”. Drop Dean Clothing: Itchy & Scratchy Capsule Collection – Skinny pretty people wearing high falutin’ Simpsons clothes. Again. The internet sarcasm detector – Oh, that’s a real useful invention! Save the Children Names New Giving Fund for ‘Simpsons’ Co-Creator Sam Simon – Simon continues to put all that Simpsons money to good use. News :: Ay caramba! Charity poker event helps children – Meanwhile, Cartwright is hosting charity poker tournaments. TV and film-themed sandcastles – Just what it says, with everything from the show to Monsters, Inc. Life Lessons from The Simpsons – Excellent idea: And our children have watched the Simpsons since they could see. In fact, when they were little and hadn’t figured out “time” yet, we’d explain longer car trips in terms of the equivalent number of Simpsons episodes. Ay Caramba! 7 Lessons Event Organizers Can Learn From The Simpsons – Just what it says and not a trace of Zombie Simpsons. Well done. How Real Men Spend Father’s Day – Heh. Geeky Lego Flower Pots – Star Wars, Lord of the Ring, and Simpsons all get the treatment. Deadpool and Bobo verse the World – Well, the Lego world. Why The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show of All Time – Those first ten years, yeah. 213. Duff – Another very “meh” review from an Aussie beer site. D’Oh Nuts – You can now buy officially licensed “D’oh Nuts” in Britain, apparently. Simpsons, Sedaris, and Story Structure – David Sedaris, fan of at least some Simpsons. Groundskeeper Willie: My Not-So-Secret Crush – I’m not even gonna tell you what that guy’s into. Licensing Business for Entertainment Biz Grew to $51 Billion in 2013 – Moar: Products tied to not just Disney and Lucasfilm’s new “Star Wars” trilogy and spinoffs, but also Marvel’s “The Avengers: Age…
Behind Us Forever: Days of Future Future
“Bart, you cast the wrong spell! Zombies!” – Lisa Simpson So, was this episode the Futurama crossover or not? I didn’t see Fry or Leela, but there was a beer swilling robot and lots of inter-species relationships, so I’m not entirely sure. Also, part of it was a coma fantasy or a dream sequence, but I don’t have access to an original script so I don’t know if those pages were on pink paper or goldenrod. For those of you sage enough not to have watched it, we begin in the present when Homer dies. Frink, and remember, this is supposed to be the present, brings in a clone of Homer to the funeral. Homer then spends the next few minutes dying and coming back as a clone. Eventually it’s thirty years from now and Homer becomes a computer program instead. In that future, Bart is divorced from Amy Poehler, Lisa is married to Milhouse (who becomes a literal zombie because now they’re just fucking with me), and Marge eventually also becomes a computer program who gets eaten or something by Homer. Seriously, the end is so confusing that they have Moe say that he doesn’t get it. – Hey, the couch gag was short and clever for a change. – Ah, for the days when Homer eating in his underwear was funny instead of a harbinger of boredom. – “You’re alive, but how?” – Time to have things explained. – We got to the death montage nice and quick. It’s a completely unnecessary death montage, but at least they didn’t dawdle. – Oh, look, there’s an incinerator-bot that looks like something that was reject from a Futurama storyboard back in 2003 or so. Has Zombie Simpsons resorted to dumpster diving the Futurama offices? – “All is not lost, I was able to download Homer’s brain into this flash drive.” – They know we’re pretty much as far from Halloween as it is possible to get on the calendar, right? – Bart’s ex-wife is dating an Alien alien named Jerry. I am not making this up. – Okay, the “Cretaceous Park” sign (“Now Correctly Named”) was kinda funny. – You know, all this talk of zombies reminds me that Ugly Americans had its moments. It never quite got there, but it was a hell of a lot better than this. – At least this Total Recall scene didn’t take long. – It’s our second song montage. The first one was Homer dying. This one is Bart getting laid. – Clown group sex, didn’t see that one coming. – A robot drinking alcohol . . . where have I seen that before? – It’s pure fan service and couldn’t hope to salvage even a little bit of this episode, but they have adult Maggie and Gerald sucking on a straw together. It was quick and almost charming. – Nice of Marge to pop out from behind that plant at Moe’s for an expository conversation about marriage with her kids. – “Wait, Mom, does that mean you’re gonna…
Quote of the Day
“Do you sell toys?” – Homer Simpson “We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.” – House of Evil Owner
Animation Alley: Treehouse of Horror III
(this episode was directed by Carlos Baeza) After two years of Marge in front of the curtain with her earnest word of warning, here Homer steps in, childishly goading the audience. But first, a wonderful take on Alfred Hitchcock Presents, with Homer subbing for the master of horror, clearly even fatter than the silhouette. I laugh out loud every damn time during this shot of Marge chastising Homer, with no movement but Homer’s chewing lips. That completely blank expression serving to pay off the simple gag involving Homer the food monster. Also, not animation related, but I do like Marge setting up this traditional, but still slightly macabre party game, it’s such a true mom thing of her to do. Nowadays, extreme wet blanket one-dimensional Marge certainly wouldn’t be up for something like this. Always fun to go frame-by-frame on animation smears like this. The limited amount of frames, and the wonderful coconut sound effect of Milhouse’s head hitting the wall, makes this a brilliant small moment of funny. What a hilarious shot. The framing of it, the repairman’s shocked expression against Marge’s unaffected one, presumably having been dealing with this for a few hours, and the Krusty doll hoisted upon Homer’s lips painfully yanking at his elongated tongue. Just amazing. “King Homer” pays tribute to the very original King Kong, of course, aping (heh heh) many of the shots from that film. My favorite is this, recreating the kinda goofy looking insert shot of the beast as the reaction to a live actor screaming in terror. Also great is later when he pulls Marge through the window, it’s just like the original, with Fay Wray flailing within a giant fake monkey fist. My favorite moment in the entire show may be Shirley Temple’s little shoes falling off when she’s being picked up by Homer. But that doesn’t really come across in a framegrab, so here’s a shot of him eating the famous child actress. Another great drawing. As if a gargantuan ape wouldn’t look awkward enough inside a church, they pose him in such a way he seems not only awkward, but self-conscious. Look at him looking up at his little hat! It’s almost adorable. A perfect example of the show piling jokes on top of jokes on top of jokes. So Bart’s reading “Find Waldo Yet Again,” already a double joke, in the title referring to the dizzying amount of Waldo books, and the fact that since Bart figured that he struck out with “Baby’s First Pop-Up Book,” maybe this mature tome would appease Krabappel. So we see Waldo’s right there in the open, and if it weren’t easy enough, there’s a kid right there on the beach pointing at him. Brilliant. Astounding reference to three network animated shows that emerged soon after The Simpsons to attempt to reach a similar audience… and were all swiftly cancelled. Lucky that they all involved animals so this joke works perfectly. Of the three, I’ve only seen Fish Police, and boy…
Bonus Quote of the Day
“Homer, what’s wrong?” – Marge Simpson “That doll tried to kill me.” – Homer Simpson “I’d say that the pressure’s finally gotten to Dad, but, what pressure?” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Dan Castellaneta!
Quote of the Day
“Dad, we did something very bad.” – Lisa Simpson “Did you wreck the car?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Bart Simpson “Did you raise the dead?” – Homer Simpson “Yes.” – Lisa Simpson “But the car’s okay?” – Homer Simpson “Uh-huh.” – Bart & Lisa Simpson “Alright then.” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Treehouse of Horror III”! Original airdate 29 October 1992.
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway! Dead, we’ll sell monkey stew to the army.” – C.M. Burns
And the Children Were Silent
“That doll is evil, I tells ya. Evil! Evil!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Grampa, you said that about all the presents.” – Marge Simpson “I just want attention.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson I happened to find myself at my brother’s house yesterday, keeping an eye on three of his kids, two nephews (13 and 11) and a niece (8). Though they’re well aware that the new episodes are subpar, they wanted to watch the new Zombie Simpsons. When Homer farted for the first time my niece got a goofy grin on her face, but the boys only looked up from their laptops intermittently. Not a single one of them laughed out loud during the entire episode, and when it was done my niece said, and I quote, “That wasn’t very good.” Allow me to agree with the eight-year-old. Of the various crimes against comedy that went into those four segments, the farting was the most tiresome, but the entire episode was an exercise in stretching weak jokes and weaker ideas to fill that unforgiving time requirement. The premise of the opening segment is Homer getting trapped a la 127 Hours, but even though that whole thing was supposed to be an introduction, it took nearly two minutes just to get Homer out into the boonies. Once he was there they dragged it out even more by having him chew off a limb three (3) times. The second segment had such a weak premise that it couldn’t make it through even its limited runtime without a classic Zombie Simpsons swerve, having Homer suddenly become Spiderman. The Dexter thing suffered a similar fate as it ran out of steam and needed divine intervention to make it to the commercial break. The Avatar segment, easily the longest, clocking in at nearly eight minutes, spent more than a quarter of its runtime on the goofy battle/action/whatever sequence at the end that was light on jokes, thought and satire and heavy on surprisingly boring cartoon violence. There were a couple of lines I actually liked, notably Flanders telling the hooker to “Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees” and Chalmers’ windy but accurate “This is a delicate mission that requires utter loyalty. I can think of no better candidate than the resentful guy in the wheelchair who has just arrived.” But for each of those there were a dozen or more cringe inducing duds like the alien repeatedly screaming at Milhouse. When she yelled at him for kicking the rock my instant reaction was, “I wonder how many times they’re going to repeat this.” The answer was three. All in all, this was about what to expect from Zombie Simpsons in a Halloween episode. Turned loose with no limits on their creativity, they hash together a few tepid pop culture references and call it a day. Anyway, the numbers are in and they are the worst ever for a Halloween episode. Last night’s unworthy successor was silently endured by just…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, who’s this ‘Homer’ dude?” – Captain Otto “He’s either a fifty foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island Jaycees. Either way, we’re going ashore.” – C.M. Burns
Reading Digest: Marge Costume Edition
As I’m sure everyone knows, Monday is Halloween, and while there were lots and lots of previews for Sunday’s Zombie Simpsons episode, you will find none of them linked below. Why bore yourself more than once? Instead we have several links to Marge costumes past and present. Sadly, the only picture is of a lame store bought one, but a quick Google Image search will net you plenty of great looking homemade ideas and tips. In addition to that, we’ve got a Homer video game customization, a wildly overzealous copyright takedown notice, lots of usage, a kick ass home made skateboard, and a guy who agrees with us so much that he actually uses the word “zombie”. Enjoy. Duff Brewery – Jaw dropping, fan made, wood burned, skateboard of Captain McAllister. Here’s a picture from slightly farther back with a bottle opener attached. Wow. by TW Collins Minimalist Lisa Simpson – The blue makes it look a bit more like Maggie to me, but the resemblance is uncanny. 10 Sitcoms That Actually Moved Women Forward – Simpsons checks in at #9 among good company. Unfortunately, the YouTube is from Zombie Simpsons (via). Which leads me to . . . What’s the deal with airline food and Asian people? – . . . this article about 2 Broke Girls and where the line gets drawn between stereotype comedy that’s funny, and stereotype comedy that’s just stereotypes. I’d like to add this sentiment to the cost of Zombie Simpsons: Buuut, comedy isn’t just pointing and laughing. If it were, all comedy would be incredibly mean-spirited. A good chunk of comedy is laughing with the protagonists, at ourselves. “We’ve all been there.” This means that while our protagonists may get humiliated and hurt, they also get the character development, the funny lines, the big checks—while the women and black people stand off to the side, being kind of sagely and disappointing and not funny. In a comedy. Call it the Lisa Simpson Problem. That Lisa has become a scold, set off to the side to cast disapproval, and not funny is all on Zombie Simpsons. She didn’t used to do that, she used to do things like lose her faith in democracy, gamble on pro football, and play hockey, and it was hilarious. Now? Not so much. The Critic–The Live Action Movie – Attempting to cast a live action movie of The Critic. There are some good choices in here, but I can’t see Gary Busey or Robert Redford as Duke Phillips. We’d need someone who can play a megalomaniacal Southerner, did Jerry Reed have any kids that went into acting? Mike Argento: A burger and a shake, all in one – Excellent usage: "We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham and a fried egg," the announcer, a woman with a voice soaked in sex, intoned, breathlessly. "We call it the Good Morning Burger." That episode aired…
Zombies Never Die
“Chapter Eight, let’s talk zombies. If a zombie bites you, you become a zombie. You must walk the Earth feeding on the brains of the living until the spell is broken.” – Bart Simpson It’s official, Zombie Simpsons lives to bore another day. James L. Brooks just tweeted it (via): That’ll take it through Season 25, or at least the spring of 2014. Neither side is likely to release any detailed figures but, as with every other time they’ve gone through this goofy public fit, mutual financial benefit won the day. I’ll do a more informative update when there’s some actual hard information. Until then I would just like to point out the irony that this site, which wants to see the show taken off the air, was one of the few all week that never thought it was going to happen. Oh well.