“Want me to cut off the gum or just style it?” – Snippy Longstocking Barber
Tag: 22 Short Films About Springfield
Quote of the Day
“Move a muscle and I’ll blow this wino’s head off!” – Snake “I’m behind three inches of bullet proof glass. Do your worst.” – Moe “Alright.” – Snake “No! Stay out of there! Stay out of there! Oh, Good God, no!” – Moe “Ho, goodbye student loan payments!” – Snake
Quote of the Day
“Hey, what’s goin’ on on this side?” – Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel
Quote of the Day
“Holy cats, man! We’re starting to wobble!” – C.M. Burns “Get . . . me . . . to . . . a . . . hospital. You . . . have . . . to . . . peddle.” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, Tuttle’s Sunday trousers!” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Do you find something comical about my appearance when I’m driving my automobile?” – Tall Guy “Yeah.” – Nelson Muntz “Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall. This was the largest auto that I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun?” – Tall Guy “I guess so.” – Nelson Muntz Happy 20th Anniversary to “22 Short Films About Springfield”! Original airdate 14 April 1996.
Quote of the Day
“Hey, you know what? I could call my ma while I’m up here. Hey, ma! Get off the dang roof!” – Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel
Quote of the Day
“Seymour, the house is on fire!” – Agnes Skinner “No, mother, it’s just the Northern Lights.” – Principal Skinner “Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow. But, I must say, you steam a good ham.” – Superintendent Chalmers
Quote of the Day
“Swing serenade is brought to you by Gorman’s Ear Guards. GUARD YOUR EARS! . . . with Gorman’s.” – Radio Announcer
Quote of the Day
“Free nose jobs for everybody! You first.” – Dr. Nick “Gimme a Van Heflin.” – Jasper
Quote of the Day
“You call hamburgers ‘Steamed Hams’?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Yes. It’s a regional dialect.” – Principal Skinner “Uh-huh, what region?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Uh, upstate New York.” – Principal Skinner “Really. Well, I’m from Utica and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase ‘Steamed Hams’.” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh, not in Utica, no, it’s an Albany expression.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Mom, someone threw gum in my hair!” – Lisa Simpson “Are you sure? Maybe it’s just shampoo. That washes right out.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Milhouse, do you ever think about the people in those cars?” – Bart Simpson “I try not to. It makes it harder to spit on ’em.” – Milhouse van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Hi, everybody. Now, tell Dr. Nick, where is the trouble.” – Dr. Nick Riviera “I’m edgy, I got ants in my pants, I’m discombobulated! Get me a calmative!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Slow down, sir, you’re going to give yourself skin failure! Okay, now, the symptoms you describe point to ‘bonus eruptus’, it’s a terrible disorder where the skeleton tries to leap out the mouth and escape the body.” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Quote of the Day
“Mom, Dad threw his beer can at the Miracle-Gro guy on TV. Can I recycle it?” – Lisa Simpson “Why not?” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Help me.” – Mr. Smithers “Holy smokes, you need booze!” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Quote of the Day
“Hey Brandine, you might could wear these to your job interview.” – Cletus “And scuff up the topless dancin’ runway? Nah, you best brang ’em back where from you got ’em.” – Brandine
Quote of the Day
“That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore; it is worth one hundred and fifty dollars.” – Comic Book Guy “What can I get for seventy-five cents?” – Milhouse van Houten “Ugh, you may purchase this charming Hamburglar adventure, a child has already solved the jumble using crayons. The answer is ‘fries’.” – Comic Book Guy
Quote of the Day
“You took four minutes of my life and I want them back! . . . Oh, I’d only waste them anyway.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complains against you. Of the 160 gravest charges the most troubling are, performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant . . .” – Competent Doctor “But I cleaned them with my napkin.” – Dr. Nick Riviera “. . . misuse of the cadavers . . .” – Competent Doctor “I get here earlier when I drive in the carpool lane.” – Dr. Nick Riviera
Quote of the Day
“You know the funniest thing though? It’s the little differences.” – Lou “Example.” – Chief Wiggum “Well at McDonald’s you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don’t call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.” – Lou “Get out, well what do they call it?” – Chief Wiggum “A quarter pounder with cheese.” – Lou “Quarter pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese, but uh . . . do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum based beverages?” – Chief Wiggum “Mmm-hmm, they call ‘em shakes.” – Lou “Shakes. You don’t know what you’re getting.”…