“But I can’t play quarterback, I don’t even know how!” – Bart Simpson “Son, you can do anything you want. I have total faith in you.” – Homer Simpson “Since when?” – Bart Simpson “Since your mother yelled at me.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Bart Star
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Well, I’m not gonna make the same mistake. From now on, I’m gonna be kinder to my son and meaner to my dad!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Are you wearing my self defense whistle?” – Marge Simpson “You never use it.” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart Star”. Original airdate 9 November 1997.
Quote of the Day
“They’re just words, Neddy. Words can’t hurtcha.” – Ned Flanders
Quote of the Day
“I cannot believe you are here! Do you think maybe you could give me some pointers?” – Bart Simpson “Sure. There’s only one thing you need to know to be a great quarterback.” – Joe Namath “Joe, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock.” – Joe’s Lady “Oops, hey, look, I gotta run. Remember what I told you.” – Joe Namath
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, well, he’s wearing that hat like an idiot.” – Homer Simpson “You know, Homer, it’s very easy to criticize.” – Marge Simpson “Fun too.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ralph, you’ll be on special teams.” – Ned Flanders “I’m special.” – Ralph Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Come on! You can’t do one sit up?” – Rainier Wolfcastle “I loved your last McBain movie, Mr. Wolfcastle.” – Uter “Quit stalling, fatty.” – Rainier Wolfcastle
Quote of the Day
“We drove two-thousand miles for this?” – Hank Hill Happy birthday Greg Daniels!
Quote of the Day
“Your cholesterol level is lethally high, but I’m more concerned about your gravy level.” – Dr. Hibbert “Now, wait a second, you doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day.” – Homer Simpson “You’re a little confused.” – Dr. Hibbert “Oh, confused, would we?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, tubby, want another Pop Tart, tubby?” – Lisa Simpson “I’m comfortable with who I am.” – Bart Simpson “You’re a disgrace to this family!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, I know you don’t want to disappoint Dad, but how do you feel about lying to him?” – Lisa Simpson “Good.” – Bart Simpson
Reading Digest: Arcade Game Edition
“I’ve got lots of quarters.” – Homer Simpson “This thing only takes dollars.” – Bart Simpson From multiple sources this week comes the news that the venerable Simpsons Arcade Game is being developed for a re-release on Xbox Live. I don’t think there’s much to say about the game. It was kinda fun, but if it hadn’t been a “Simpsons” game I don’t think people would care much. The irony is that it actually wasn’t a Simpsons game, at least not exclusively. Jake dropped this helpful nugget in a comment thread a while back: Jake 12 January 2011 at 5:50 pm Little known fact…the Simpsons Arcade Game and TMNT IV: Turtles in time were the both Konami games and they were (programming wise) the same game, but one had Simpsons Graphics and the other TMNT graphics. Ha! Wikipedia on the plot of Turtles IV: The introductory cut scene of the game details the game’s plot. It begins with the Turtles watching a TV newscast on a Sunday evening, with April O’Neil reporting from Liberty Island. Suddenly, Krang flies in using a giant exosuit (seen occasionally in the animated series[8][9][10]) and steals the Statue of Liberty, moments before Shredder hijacks the airwaves to laugh at the Turtles. Which certainly mirrors the opening of the Simpsons game wherein Burns and Smithers make off with Maggie after she somehow gets hold of a diamond they were stealing. Anyway, this news has prompted quite a few links about the game, and there are a couple below. There’s also a Marge costume, a very old Bart doll, a very cloudy cloud computing article, an Argentine band named after Bart’s well dwelling alter-ego, and a bunch of people who agree with us, including a spot on rendition of many of the things we talk about here. Enjoy. The Simpsons Arcade Game is Making a Comeback – There’s a picture of the arcade game here. I’d forgotten that the console only had two buttons. Oh how many times my friends and I struggled to do that cool looking but quite lame combo attack where one of you sits on the other’s shoulders. The Simpsons Arcade Game Coming to XBLA – A bit more about the game: The ports we’ve seen of this style of arcade game have varied in quality, so it’ll be interesting to see how this one stands up. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game port was as good as everyone remembered but X-Men in particular didn’t age well. The controls were a little clumsy and there just wasn’t much to the game besides repetitive gameplay. If they’re doing a straight port I don’t think there’s a way around the repetitive gameplay. I like that game, but there were only the two buttons, and mashing the attack one was pretty much a constant. gwendolynfaker – This is the shiver inducing video of Bart and Homer talking about running the show into the ground that made the rounds a little while ago. It got linked…
Quote of the Day
“Well, that’s the end of the girls’ floor exercise. Now, let’s bring on the men!” – Waylon Smithers
Crazy Noises: Bart Star
“Team sports’ll keep you away from temptations like rock music and girls.” – Ned Flanders “Yay!” – Rod & Todd Flanders There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders). So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “primus inter pares”). Mad Jon: I am not such a fan of this episode. Dave: I’m going to guess that’s true for all of us. Charlie Sweatpants: Ah ha: (slight) disagree! Dave: I’m shocked, shocked I am. Charlie Sweatpants: This episode strikes me as a marginally weaker version of the one we were just talking about. Mad Jon: I think this one has a few more fundamental flaws. Charlie Sweatpants: Most of the bad stuff is Jerkass Homer related, there’s just a little bit more in this episode than there is in "Cartridge Family". Damn, we agreed. Dave: Who is this generous Charlie and what has he done with the vitriolic, evil Charlie? Mad Jon: Did you drink two nights of rum rations today Pants? Charlie Sweatpants: I’m plenty vitriolic, and I’ve got plenty to work with here: Homer’s pointless call to the talk radio show sucks. King of the Hill makes a guest appearance for no fucking reason whatsoever. And the "cut" joke should never have taken more than a single scene. I have bubonic loathing for all those things. However, there are a number of jokes I enjoy, primus inter pares, Skittle-brau. Dave: Ugh, King of the Hill. Mad Jon: Skittle-brau is funny Dave: Hell yes. Mad Jon: More issues: Ned not being Ned, pointless celebrity appearance Charlie Sweatpants: But there’s more, Marge’s joke about the persistent tick, Bart’s "This thing only takes dollars" about video games, and Bart’s "gotta be a trick, run like the wind" thing about Homer trying to hug him, All of those are good. Yeah, the Namath thing was definitely a canary in the coal mind kinda things. Mad Jon: I did like Homer’s flashback to gymnastics, and Grandpa’s retort to Marge’s question about pride for his son Charlie Sweatpants: Again, those are good. Mad Jon: In addition to Homer being a Jerkass, there were several lessons he "learned" in this episode as well. Charlie Sweatpants: Oh, the learned lessons suck. The real problem with this episode is that it’s kind of a "Lisa on Ice" rehash, and they fill in the gaps with Jerkass Homer. Mad Jon: That’s a good way to put it. Charlie Sweatpants: That Homer would belittle Ned as…