Tag: Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?

“Forgot there was a physical today, huh?” – Homer Simpson

“Forgot there was a physical today, huh?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah. . . . Hey, Homer, can I borrow your underwear?” – Lenny “Nah.” – Homer Simpson

“Sir, I’m afraid Homer Simpson is sterile.” – Mr. Smithers “Who?” – C.M. Burns “One of your cabbage heads from sector 7G. Take a look at this sperm sample from his recent physical.” – Mr. Smithers “Ugh.” – C.M. Burns “Now, compare this with a normal sperm sample.” – Mr. Smithers

“My baby translator!” – Herb Powell “Ooooh.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, you don’t have to humor me.” – Herb Powell “Well, it’s pretty ingrained.” – Marge Simpson

“Before you begin, let me make one thing clear to you: I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me you’re all vipers! You live on personal injury! You live on divorces! You live on pain and misery! . . . But I’m rambling. Anybody want any coffee?” – C.M. Burns “I’ll have some coffee.” – Blue Haired Lawyer “Want it black, don’t you? Black like your heart? It’s so hard for me to listen to you! I hate you all so much! . . . I’m sorry, it’s my problem. I’ll deal with it.” –…

“I bet you’re all wondering what lies under this sheet.” – Herb Powell “Not really. We peeked inside while you were in the john.” – Bart Simpson “Well, here it is again.” – Herb Powell

“Herb, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe we blew two thousand bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?” – Herb Powell “I’ll try, but I can’t.” – Homer Simpson

“Is this the one with the lazy sperm?” – C.M. Burns “Mmm-hmm.” – Mr. Smithers “Ah, Simpson! You big, virile son of a gun!” – C.M. Burns Sorry for the late quote.

“Well, I used to own a successful car company.  My strategy was giving ’em Japanese names.  You guys ever drive a Tempura hatchback?” – Herb Powell “Oh, yeah.” – Bum #1 “Sure.” – Bum #2 “Yeah, I got hit by one of those.” – Bum #3

“Herb!  How have you been?” – Marge Simpson “I’ve been living in a cardboard box, sleeping on grates, eating out of dumpsters, you?” – Herb Powell “Can’t complain.” – Marge Simpson

“Now, Bart, I know you’re too young for that machine gun you wanted, but I’m gonna give you something that’ll make sure when you’re old enough, you can still buy one: a membership in the National Rifle Association.” – Herb Powell “Wow, the NRA!  Can I get armor piercing cyanide tipped bullets too?” – Bart Simpson “It’s in the Constitution, son.” – Herb Powell

“I need an idea, idea, idea, what’s the matter with me?  I used to have hundreds of ideas.” – Herb Powell “What do you want?  I just changed your diaper, are you hungry?  Are you cold?  Do you want to go home?” – Mother in Park “Lady, you just gave me the idea of a lifetime!  How do I thank you?” – Herb Powell “Please don’t hurt me.” – Mother in Park “Consider it done.” – Herb Powell

“This is really good, Marge.” – Herb Powell “I got the recipe from the Utility Grade Beef Council.” – Marge Simpson “They do good work.” – Homer Simpson

“I’m sorry, Homer, but I’m still mad at you.  Every word you say just makes me want to punch you in the face.” – Herb Powell “Well, while you’re a guest in my home, could you just kick me in the butt?” – Homer Simpson “I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises.” – Herb Powell

“Forbes magazine called it the blunder of the century.  Little overblown, don’t you think?  What about New Coke?” – Herb Powell “Hey, I invented that!” – Bum

“Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself?” – Bart Simpson “Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.” – Herb Powell

“I know how you feel.  You lost a couch.  I lost the heavyweight championship.” – Joe Frazier “Pfft, heavyweight championship, there’s like three of those.  That couch was one of a kind.” – Homer Simpson