Reading Digest: Back to Normal Edition

“Don’t worry Bart, it seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons.  My advice is to ride it out, make an occasional smart aleck quip, and by next week we’ll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.” – Lisa Simpson “Aye caramba!” – Bart Simpson “That’s the spirit.” – Lisa Simpson I was a little worried that the internet would get eaten by Zuckerberg this week the way it was eaten by Glee last couple of weeks.  Fortunately, it died out by Tuesday and we’ve got some quality links.  There’s a lot of video and usage this week, in addition to the usual randomness, including some bottle openers, a mourned Simpsons fan, the continued march of the word “embiggen”, and a cranky old man who hates the Simpsons and SpongeBob. Enjoy. No.11: Listen to a classic album – Dark Side of the Moon and Simpsons references go well together, plus this is excellent usage: There’s a great episode of The Simpsons where Homer bemoans his lack of knowledge about the “hip, young people’s” music, and Marge responds by saying “Well, music is none of my business.” That’s pretty much how I feel on a daily basis. I just don’t seem to have a very good musical knowledge. Marge doesn’t actually say “Well”, but the rest is spot on.  Phase2 – Heh.  If the show had gone off the air in 1999ish like it should have, there’d be no Peter vs. Homer debate.  There’d just be, “Well, it’s not as good as The Simpsons.”  (via rubbercatsimp on Twitter) Appetite for Crustacean – An upcoming trip to Red Lobster inspires an embedded Hulu video of Homer’s trip to The Frying Dutchman. Memories of Sam – A long and touching tribute to an old friend, including his love of The Simpsons and Moe’s failed love life.  What Happens When States Vote Republican – Excellent usage.  Kind Words from The Fashionista – Mildly misquoted Simpsons adds to family harmony, well, sort of.  19 Weird Wine Bottle Openers – A collection of weird bottle openers, including several from the Simpsons.  The Bill Clinton one is also pretty funny.  It’s a Perfectly Cromulent Word – Respectable publication The Economist used “embiggened” in a sentence.  Also, click through for the sweet Scrabble drawing of “embiggen”.  (From Andy Daglas by way of dailysimpsons on Twitter.) Texts From Last Week Part 7 – Zombie Simpsons love of Kesha has tarnished them for another fan: “Is it worth judging someone solely based on their taste in music? What if they like truly awful musicians like 3OH!3 and Ke$ha? Honestly, if you like a band with some sort of punctuation in the name, which has you question the pronunciation, I think you need to re-evaluate your musical taste. Is this music  REALLY what you should be listening to? I think not. And I think the Music Gods would agree.” That’s followed by YouTube of the awful Kesha opening, and this: This song has slightly…

Quote of the Day

“If you have the fever, there’s only one cure: take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.” – Kent Brockman “Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.” – Announcer “See because of me, now they have a warning.” – Homer Simpson

Quote of the Day

“There. I hope the children enjoy my special fruit punch.” – Marge Simpson “We got the recipe from the Fruit Punch Advisory Board.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Our boys don’t eat sugar.” – Maude Flanders “But why would the Advisory Board give us bad advice?” – Marge Simpson “No sugar!” – Maude Flanders

Football-less Zombie Simpsons Crashes and Burns

“Where’s your messiah now, Flanders?” – Chief Wiggum With no lead in from the NFL, no anniversary special, no massive promotional effort Zombie Simpsons’ popularity has plummeted to earth like so much half chewed fish.  Last night’s test of audience patience drew a puny 5.11 million viewers.  Is that the lowest rating ever?  Yes, yes it is.  The only problem with it is that it’s just slightly higher than Family Guy Spinoff #1 which came in at 5.06 in the 9:30 slot.  I think we can safely conclude that there will be no lasting bump from nostalgia related anniversary viewers. 

Quote of the Day

“Springfield has come down with a fever . . . football fever, brought on by the biggest game of the year, the pigskin classic between the Shelbyville Sharks and our own Springfield Atoms.  If you have the fever, there’s only one cure.  Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.” – Kent Brockman “Warning: Tickets should not be taken internally.” – TV Announcer “See, because of me, now they have a warning.” – Homer Simpson

“I’m Goin’ to Praiseland” Makes Baby Jesus Cry

“What’s with the lead pipe? Were you gonna give my noggin a floggin’?” – Ned Flanders One of the true hallmarks of Zombie Simpsons is the way relationships between characters have changed for the worse. To take but one example, Lenny and Carl were once a pretty normal pair of work buddies and, as work buddies often are, they were hilarious together. Gradually that perfectly workable comedy devolved into not-gay/gay/hetero-life-mate/I-don’t-even-know-how-to-describe-it-because-no-one-in-real-life-is-anything-like-them. They stopped being recognizable characters and became an institution. Much the same thing happened between Homer and Flanders. Homer used to simply resent his neighbor for being a better and more liked person than him. (Even in the above quoted “Homer Loves Flanders”, Homer only hangs out with Flanders because Ned lets Homer push him around and take advantage of him.) As The Simpsons turned into Zombie Simpsons Homer’s resentment dissolved and they became fast friends, getting into wacky adventures together. This vile episode is amongst the first of that dull genre. Eight people on this one, including a token female. 2:00 – As they talk about the cow that makes ice cream I can actually detect a note of shame and/or regret. “Now this is probably one of those instances where we had an animal behave slightly too human.” Then the scene goes on for another twenty seconds of uncomfortable silence before the cow kicks Frink and they talk about how all their jokes are tested first. 3:20 – Talking about what they wanted to do with Ned after they killed Maude. Wasn’t this show supposed to not be concerned with character development? 5:30 – Ned’s weird Maude indent on the bed and the rest of this scene is described by them as the creepy part. Yeah, that’s why people like the show, the creepy factor. 6:15 – Homer is hanging from Ned’s window for no reason, “I got a feeling that wasn’t our original act break.” Followed, as usual, by laughter at the crappiness. That’s followed by this window into the suck, “When something’s not working you just put Homer in, if he’s not in the scene already.” That’s the kickoff to a discussion of how they like to do this. Homer used to be a character, now he’s a prop, and the creators are fine with this. Marvelous. 8:00 – As they conveniently discover Maude’s sketchbook on the lawn someone says, “That feels like it’s important to the plot.” as they all laugh at the cheap nature of the turn. 8:40 – “There’s a lot of emotional music cues in this one.” No shit. 9:00 – Long discussion of how many people die in amusement parks. It’s far more interesting than what’s going on in the episode. 10:45 – Laughter at the fact that Marge’s concern over Ned makes no sense. 11:45 – “We need a commentary for the commentary to find out what we were thinking during these long quiet periods.” 12:20 – Story about the opening of Disneyland. 13:15 – Laughing at the weird improbability…