– By Gran2 The plethora of Season 22 guest stars filled me with rage. This show is bad enough already without Danica Patrick, Paul Rudd or Mark ‘Facebook’ Zuckerberg turning up to dig it even closer to Earth’s core. I dreaded hearing Al Jean rattle off next season’s list at Comic-Con (spoilers: It included Michael Cera). The point is: guest stars suck now. The really obscure ones suck because you have no idea who they are, or why they are there (pretty much every guest star from seasons 11 and 12 falls into to this category, or maybe that’s because…
Tag: Million Dollar Maybe
Crazy Noises: Million Dollar Maybe
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Lisa Brewster. “Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like . . . love.” – Homer Simpson In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for…
Synergy Has a Nostalgia Hangover
“Duh, Homer, why are we down here?” – Bernie “Aw geez, I told you Bernie, to guard the bee.” – Homer Simpson “But why?” – Less Gifted Employee “Oh you guys are pathetic, no wonder Smithers made me head bee guy.” – Homer Simpson Having read more of these IGN Simpsons reviews than I care to think about it’s become clear that they just don’t put a lot of thought into them. Case in point is this week’s review which has only two main elements, 1) praising the show for being on the air a long time, and 2) retelling…
Football-less Zombie Simpsons Crashes and Burns
“Where’s your messiah now, Flanders?” – Chief Wiggum With no lead in from the NFL, no anniversary special, no massive promotional effort Zombie Simpsons’ popularity has plummeted to earth like so much half chewed fish. Last night’s test of audience patience drew a puny 5.11 million viewers. Is that the lowest rating ever? Yes, yes it is. The only problem with it is that it’s just slightly higher than Family Guy Spinoff #1 which came in at 5.06 in the 9:30 slot. I think we can safely conclude that there will be no lasting bump from nostalgia related anniversary viewers.
It Could (But Won’t) Happen to You
“In fact, every copy of Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” has been checked out from the Springfield Public Library. Of course the book does not contain any hints on how to win the lottery, it is rather a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.” – Kent Brockman We have an entire week to pick apart this pedestrian and lifeless Zombie Simpsons outing. There are plenty of recycled jokes, gaping plot contradictions, and labored set pieces with which to play. (When winning the lottery is the most relatable thing that happens there is little hope for anything but fail.) For right now…
Sunday Preview: Million Dollar Maybe
Dave usually writes these Sunday Preview posts but he’s on vacation. He did stop having fun long enough to e-mail in this much improved official preview image. Simpsons Channel wrote it up and as usual there’s nothing to suggest that this will be anything but a complete waste of thirty minutes of your irreplaceable time. I’m stupid, stubborn and honor bound by the Code of Internet Snark to watch it; you are not. Here are some suggestions for better uses of your time: Masturbation Knitting Watching anything else