Tag: Homer’s Phobia

“Aww, Moe, we were saved by a sissy.” – Barney Gumble “Yeah, yeah, we’ll never live it down. Oh, boy, it looks like it’s suicide again for me.” – Moe

“Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” – Homer Simpson “So?” – Marge Simpson “There’s only two kinds of guys who wear those shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn’t look like a big fat party animal to me.” – Homer Simpson “So if you wore a Hawaiian shirt it wouldn’t be gay?” – Marge Simpson “Right. Thank you!” – Homer Simpson

“You’re being ridiculous.” – Marge Simpson “Am I, Marge? Am I? Think of the property values! Now we can never say only straight people have been in this house.” – Homer Simpson

“How’d you know that thing would work?” – Bart Simpson “Well, the sound is just brutal. And I figured reindeer would naturally be afraid of their cruel master, Santa Claus.” – John

“Wow, an actual robot from the movie ‘Clank, Clank, You’re Dead’. Think of awful it’d be for the poor midget inside.” – Lisa Simpson “Aww boo-hoo. That’s what they get paid for.” – Bart Simpson

“Aw, we shoulda just stayed at the bar and shot some rats.” – Barney Gumble “Hey! Those ain’t your rats, Barn.” – Moe

“You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer’s Phobia”! Original airdate 16 February, 1997.

“Hey, where’d that cool, creepy Santa come from?” – Bart Simpson “Japan. Except over there he’s called Annual Gift Man and he lives on the moon.” – John

“But I mean more like inflatable furniture, or Last Supper TV trays, or even this bowling shirt. Can you believe somebody gave this to Goodwill?” – John

“What am I supposed to do here?” – Bart Simpson “Nothing.  Just sit.  I’ll be back. . . . Well, it’s been two hours, how do you feel?” – Homer Simpson “I don’t know, I kinda want a cigarette.” – Bart Simpson “That’s a good start, let’s get you a pack, what’s your brand?” – Homer Simpson “Anything slim!” – Bart Simpson “Okay, that didn’t work.” – Homer Simpson

“Dad, it’s barbaric.  How does killing a deer make you more of a man?” – Lisa Simpson “It just does.  Name me one gay Indian.” – Homer Simpsonee

“Fifty bucks for a toy?  No kid is worth that!” – Homer Simpson

“I hope you all saved room, because I made your favorite dessert: store bought snake cakes, both kinds.” – Marge Simpson

“And Helen Lovejoy, sure, she looks blonde, but I’ve heard cuffs and collar don’t match, if you get my drift.” – John “I don’t, but I loved hearing it.” – Marge Simpson

“Deer?  Ha!  Not around here!  They all migrated north when the state park converted to astroturf.” – John