“Where do you want these beef hearts?” – U.S. Surplus Delivery Guy “On the floor.” – Lunchlady Doris “It doesn’t look very clean.” – U.S. Surplus Delivery Guy “Just do your job, heart boy.” – Lunchlady Doris Doris Grau would’ve been 87 today. Happy Birthday.
Tag: I Love Lisa
Quote of the Day
“Dad, is it right to take things from people you don’t like?” – Lisa Simpson “Sure it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don’t you?” – Homer Simpson
Just Because
“I asked for no broth! Away with you, lest my cane find your backside!” – Ralph Wiggum “Mmm, yes.” – Rex
Quote of the Day
“Go ahead, water it down some more.” – Principal Skinner Tonight on FOX, the stagnant backwash of the greatest show in history. Animation Domination!
Ratings Catastrophe Continues
“That story isn’t suitable for children.” – Lisa Simpson “Really? I keep my pants on in this version.” – Chief Wiggum Remember when Chief Wiggum used to go to speakeasies, porno theaters, and brothels? Zombie Simpsons thought that was a little dull, so they decided to spice things up by grafting a cliche-ridden romantic comedy plot onto him. It’s almost as though improbable melodrama is the only thing they know how to do. Along the way they managed to turn Wiggum into something even whinier and duller than their endlessly heartbroken Moe. In terms of sheer character destruction, that’s pretty…
Watered Down Orange Drink Has More Substance Than This
“My god man, I’ve watered her down as far as she’ll go. I cannot water no more!” – Groundskeeper Willie There were three competitive curling scenes in this episode. They all started and ended the same way. I don’t think they recycled any footage but, really, would it surprise you? In between curling segments the audience was repeatedly clubbed in the face with the fact that Homer and Marge love each other and a number of clock killing montages, including a hallucination, a one joke opening ceremony, and a Fantasia take off that finally got us to the credits. Despite…
Quote of the Day
“Bah! This is just another Hallmark Holiday cooked up to sell cards.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson “Awww, a Valentine from my granddaughter.” – Jasper “Can I have the envelope?” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson
An Atypical Valentine’s Day Complaint
“Poor Ralph.” – Lisa Simpson Bitching about Valentine’s Day is almost a pro forma excercise these days (and something of a cottage industry). Basically, people who are in love are made to feel bad because their relationships don’t live up to the ideal, and people who are not in love are made to feel bad for being alone. Of course, making people feel bad to get them to spend money is pretty much the whole point. But I don’t actually care about any of that because I am an ugly and hate filled man. Now, for the Simpsons part. In…
Quote of the Day
“Watch this Lis, you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.” – Bart Simpson
The San Francisco Chronicle Gets It Right
Most of the Simpsons related commentary I see on-line sucks balls because most of it revolves around Zombie Simpsons, which sucks balls. However, this morning I got a pleasant surprise. Behold this post from a San Francisco Chronicle blog: “The Simpsons” Season 4, Episode 15, also known as “I Love Lisa,” also known as the Choo-Choo-Choose Me episode. It doesn’t get enough appreciation, but this excellent 1993 show from the creative peak of “The Simpsons” is the “A Charlie Brown Christmas” of Valentine’s Day. Amen, brother. Amen. The post then goes through a few crappy on-line links where you…