“Gentlemen, I give you Britannia! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles! And, best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits! Fresh from the streets of Sussex, they are.” – British Guy “Freshen your drink, gov’nor?” – Sussex Girl
Tag: $pringfield
Quote of the Day
“Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on you, the viewers.” – Kent Brockman
Quote of the Day
“Bah! To Hell with this! Get my razor! Draw a bath! And get these kleenex boxes off my feet!” – C.M. Burns “Certainly, sir. . . .And, uh, the jars of urine?” – Mr. Smithers “Oh, we’ll hang on to those.” – C.M. Burns
Second Makeup Quote of the Day
“I’ll need three ships and fifty stout men. We’ll sail ’round the Horn, and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen!” – Captain McAllister “We’re building a casino!” – C.M. Burns “Argh, can you give me five minutes.” – Captain McAllister
Quote of the Day
“I’m afraid Robert Goulet hasn’t arrived yet, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Very well. Begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, I’ve designed a new plane! I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York’s Idlewild airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes!” – C.M. Burns “That’s quite a nice model, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Model?” – C.M. Burns
Dear Matt Groening, Are You Really Okay With Video Slot Machines?
“Once something has been approved by the government, it’s no longer immoral!” – Reverend Lovejoy Ever since Bartmania back in 1990, FOX has been keen to use licensed merchandise (often of dubious quality) to pad its bottom line on the Simpsons. This can be alarm clocks that eat batteries and can’t be plugged in, drink trays that misquote the show, or a seemingly endless number of “collectible” dolls and figurines. Tchotchkes and t-shirts may be soulless consumerism at its most blatant, but they’re also relatively harmless. The same cannot be said of video slot machines. Video slots are (as those of…
Quote of the Day
“Pipe down, sister. I gotta book a new act for tonight! Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I propose that I use what’s left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.” – Mayor Quimby
Quote of the Day
“I’ll design it myself, I know what people like! It’s got to have sex appeal and a catchy name.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“The city’s even in the celebrity business. Everyone knows Professor Rubbermouth hails from Springfield.” – News on Parade Narrator
Gamblor On Your Phone
“Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.” – Homer Simpson “You know, you’re right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.” – Marge Simpson “No, no, that’s too expensive. Just don’t do it anymore.” – Homer Simpson Any time I start writing a post for this site, I can never be sure just how long it’s going to end up. Sometimes, I’ll think I’ve got some big post that’s gonna take awhile, only to find myself done much quicker and shorter than I thought. Other times, I’ll figure I’ve got a nice compact idea for…
Quote of the Day
“Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.” – Robert Goulet “Your manager says for you to shut up.” – Nelson Muntz “Vera said that?” – Robert Goulet
Quote of the Day
“I’ve discovered the perfect business. People swarm in, empty their pockets, and scuttle off. Nothing can stop me now . . . except microscopic germs. But we won’t let that happen, will we Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Uh, no, sir.” – Mr. Smithers Happy 20th Anniversary to “$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”! Original airdate: 16 December 1993.
Quote of the Day
“The economic slump began last spring when the government closed Fort Springfield, devastating the city’s liquor and prostitution industries.” – Kent Brockman
Behind Us Forever: Homerland
“Anybody lose their glasses? Last chance. Woo-hoo! The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.” – Homer Simpson “That’s a right triangle, you idiot.” – Guy on Toilet “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson Season 25, here we go: They start the year with their first joke of the season about how lame it is to be on after all these years. That didn’t take long. But the couch gag makes the same joke and does take too long. The Homeland opening credits are well done,…
Quote of the Day
“What was I laughing at, now? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman.” – C.M. Burns
Compare & Contrast: Simpson Family Gambling Problems
“Okay, Marge, let’s go.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll catch up to you.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, I’m taking the car.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll walk.” – Marge Simpson “This late, through the bad neighborhood?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah.” – Marge Simpson “Marge-” – Homer Simpson “Go home, you’re bad luck!” – Marge Simpson “Wait, I see what’s happening here. You’re just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you. Well, that’s just sad.” – Homer Simpson Zombie Simpsons long ago lost all interest in telling stories that are even coherent, much less entertaining or – heaven forefend…
Quote of the Day
“Scott, things aren’t as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors; useful people are starting to feel the pinch.” – Kent Brockman “I haven’t been able to find a job in six years.” – Barney Gumble “And what training do you have?” – Kent Brockman “Five years of modern dance; six years of tap.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Excuse me, ma’am, don’t you think you’ve gambled enough?” – Mr. Smithers “No.” – Marge Simpson “Okay. We’re required by law to ask every seventy-five hours. Get her another free drink.” – Mr. Smithers