Image taken from Wikipedia. “Who was George Washington Carver?” – Marge Simpson “Um, the guy who chopped up George Washington?” – Bart Simpson “Really? Wow.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: ‘Round Springfield
Quote of the Day
“This just in, Krusty the Klown staged a press conference today to defend himself against charges that his products are unsafe, his theme park is a death trap, and that he’s marketing videos of Tonya Harding’s wedding night.” – Kent Brockman “And I contend that those tourists were decapitated before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives. Next question.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Gee, your station has a lot of problems.” – Lisa Simpson “Tell me about it, just look at our morning guy.” – KJAZZ Guy “Hello, this is Moleman in the Morning, good Moleman to you. Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every day.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“Hey Moe, what’ll you give me for an AA chip?” – Barney Gumble “Uh, Barney, this is a five minute chip. Eh, it’s worth a Pabst.” – Moe Szyslak
The Press Release from Hell
“Boy, this thing is shredding my insides!” – Krusty the Klown “Uh, Krusty, that wasn’t a metal one, that was a regular Krusty-O.” – Sideshow Mel “It’s poison.” – Krusty the Klown Fair Warning: Semi-hinged rant below. Back in January, a few days before the Super Bowl, I wrote a post making fun of the Coke ad that was going to run during the game. Shortly thereafter, an e-mail appeared from one of those hip, edgy Web 2.0 marketing firms hoping to get us to help them promote the ad. Shortly-er thereafter, a second e-mail showed up apologizing for sending the first. The guy who sent it had finally had time to read the post and figure out that our site was unlikely to help with anything but getting yelled at by his boss. (That he thought he could “recall” e-mails sent to a gmail.com address remains funny all these months later.) Mistakes happen, especially in the frenzied marketing days before the biggest event on the American television calendar. Hurry, however, cannot excuse all faults; yesterday we got a press release from another hip, edgy Web 2.0 marketing firm. They build Facebook pages and Flash promo games for movies and teevee shows, and they were hoping we’d help them market the upcoming Season 13 home video release. If I were smarter, or just feeling noble, I would have summarily deleted it; mentioning it in any way just plays into their fiendish trap. But I couldn’t help myself, there was too much delicious marketing evil on display, so I decided to make myself part of their hypocrisy and play their little game. Most of the press release was the usual blah blah: here’s why the show’s great, here’s when you can buy this marvelous set, here are the episode titles. More interesting is what’s not there: Sam Simon. The Soviet style airbrushing of Simon out of the history of the show continues: “The Simpsons” is a Gracie Films Production in association with 20th Century Fox Television. James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, and Al Jean are the executive producers. I haven’t seen any of Season 13 in a long time, but I’m pretty sure Simon is still listed as an Executive Producer. IMDB sure thinks so, but nevermind. Included with the press release was a link to their website. But this was no ordinary link, you needed a user name and an extremely convoluted password to access it. And what did I find when I got through the security? The press release! It was the exact same text as the e-mail, both on the page itself, and available as a downloadable Word .doc file. The only other thing on the needlessly password protected page was the image of Ralph from the Season 13 cover, which I could view directly or download as a 304kb zip file. The zip file contained a higher resolution version, unzipped it was a whopping 324kb. Way to save bandwidth. To be fair, there was a little bit…
Quote of the Day
“You’ve made an old jazz man happy, Lisa.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy Cloud “You must avenge my death Kimba, I mean Simba.” – Mufasa Cloud “Luke, I am your father.” – Darth Vader Cloud “This is CNN.” – James Earl Jones Cloud “Will you guys pipe down! I’m saying goodbye to Lisa!” – Bleeding Gums Murphy Cloud “We’re sorry.” – Mufasa Cloud, Darth Vader Cloud, James Earl Jones Cloud Happy Birthday James Earl Jones!
Quote of the Day
“I’ve been playing jazz for thirty years and I just can’t make a go of it. I want you to have my saxophone.” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon “This isn’t a saxophone, it’s an umbrella.” – “Bleeding Gums” Murphy “So I’ve been playing an umbrella for thirty years? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon “We all thought it was funny.” – “Bleeding Gums” Murphy “That’s not funny.” – “Blind” Willie Witherspoon
Quote of the Day
“And I won’t rest until I’ve gotten a hot dog.” – Homer Simpson “Homer, this is a cemetery.” – Marge Simpson “Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!” – Hot Dog Guy “Woo hoo!” – Homer Simpson “What do you do, follow my husband around?” – Marge Simpson “Lady, he’s putting my kids through college.” – Hot Dog Guy