Tag: Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming

“I want to meet the first female stealth bomber pilot. During the Gulf War she destroyed seventy mosques and her name is Lisa too!” – Lisa Simpson “I want to see some birds get sucked into the engines . . . rare ones.” – Bart Simpson

“And as my final newscast draws to a close, I’m reminded of a few of the events that brought me closer to you: the collapse of the Soviet Union, premium ice cream price wars, dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards and others who weren’t so lucky.” – Kent Brockman

“How ironic, my crusade against television has come to an end so formulaic it could’ve spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack!” – Sideshow Bob

“Best before November, 1959. Damn it, Bob, there were plenty of brand new bombs, but you had to go for that retro 50s charm!” – Sideshow Bob

“Way to guard the parking lot, Top Gun!” – Bart Simpson “I have three medals for this!” – Squeaky Voiced Air Force Guy

“This elevator only goes to the basement. And someone made an awful mess down there.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Air show? Buzz cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whiz jets to the strains of ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’? What kind of country fried rube is still impressed by that?” – Sideshow Bob

“Look at that hunk of junk.” – Bart Simpson “You’re ignorant!  That’s the Wright Brothers’ plane!  At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimbleful of corn oil!  Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “So, how do you know so much about American history?” – Bart Simpson “I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming”!  Original airdate 26 November 1995.

“At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing, the Harrier jet is one of our more dollar intensive ordinance delivery vectors.” – Air Force Guy

“Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentlemen’s pursuit.  Back before every Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.” – Sideshow Bob “Are you getting lots of bugs in your mouth too?” – Bart Simpson “Yes.” – Sideshow Bob

“Oh, must you bray night and day at that infernal television?” – Sideshow Bob “Oh, look who’s talking.” – Minimum Security Inmate #1 “Yeah, Bob, you used to be on this show.” – Minimum Security Inmate #2 “Don’t remind me.  My foolish capering destroyed more young minds than syphilis and pinball combined.” – Sideshow Bob [Apologies for lateness on this.  Moving sucks and I still have no internet at my new home.]

“To slip the surly bonds of Earth and touch the face of God . . . to fly!  The dream of man and flightless bird alike.” – Col. Leslie “Hap” Hapablap

“Prepare to engage enemy . . . bogey’s airspeed not sufficient for intercept.  Suggest we get out and walk.” – Air Force Pilot

“Bob is not here.  We have searched every square inch of this base and all we have found is porno, porno, porno!” – Col. Hapablap

“Then where’s Sideshow Bob?” – Chief Wiggum “He ran off.” – Minimum Security Convict “Oh, great.  Well, if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death.  Okay?” – Chief Wiggum “Right.” – Lou