Tag: The Joy of Sect

“You two, stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest.” – Leadermobile

“We get to see the Leader pass by!” – Homer Simpson “We toil in the fields and he rides around in a Rolls-Royce?” – Lisa Simpson “Yes, it would but nice if he’d buy American, but what are you gonna do?” – Homer Simpson

“You’ve failed at everything you’ve ever tried.” – Principal Skinner “Whoa, you’ve got my number on that one, buddy. This is a smart group.” – Homer Simpson “And your stink brings tears to my eyes!” – Moe “Now, wait a minute, Moe . . . oh, my mistake.” – Homer Simpson

“Wait, I’m confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs was setting them up?” – Homer Simpson “What are you talking about? There’s nothing like that in there.” – Movementarian Guy “Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span.” – Homer Simpson

“The Leader knows how miserable you, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie are.” – Movementarian “Really? I’m surprised about Maggie.” – Homer Simpson

“When you surrender yourself to the Movementarians, you are guaranteed a perfect life of serenity, love, and loving serenity….Not a guarantee.” – Movementarian Video “Loving serenity . . . it’s about damn time!” – Moe

“But what if they try to talk us into something?” – Marge Simpson “Marge, Marge, Marge, remember when those smooth talking guys tried to sell me a time share vacation condo?” – Homer Simpson “You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced.” – Marge Simpson “So I beat the system.” – Homer Simpson

“I’ve never heard of these Movementarians. Are they some kind of church?” – Marge Simpson “Who cares what it is? The point is these are some decent, generous people that I can take advantage of.” – Homer Simpson

“These lima beans are even better than the ones we had for breakfast and lunch. Ooh! A lima bean that looks just like the Leader! I’ll put it with the others.” – Homer Simpson

“Hey, look, there’s a big crowd to welcome us back!  Even though we lost.” – Football Player “Hey, I’ll give you something to cry about, you loser!  You can’t catch a football?  Let’s see if you can catch a rock!” – Moe

“I guess it’s back to good, old fashioned voodoo.” – Moe “Whoa, I need a drink!” – Barney “Come with me.” – Moe

“Watch yourself, Dad, you’re the highly suggestible type.” – Lisa Simpson “Yes.  I am the highly suggestible type.” – Homer Simpson

“You see me as a god, right, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns  “Absolutely, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “You’d kneel before me.” – C.M. Burns “Boy, would I.” – Mr. Smithers “Yes.” – C.M. Burns

“Will there be beer?” – Homer Simpson “Beer is not allowed.” – Movementarian “Homer no function beer well without.” – Homer Simpson

“This so called ‘new religion’ is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools.  Let us say the Lord’s Prayer forty times, but first let’s pass the collection plate.” – Reverend Lovejoy

“Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?” – Hans Moleman “Get out.” – Just Crichton and King Bookstore Employee

“Smithers, why haven’t I heard of this ‘The Leader’?  He’s as rich and wicked as I, but he seems to enjoy tax exempt status.” – C.M. Burns “Actually, sir, with our creative bookkeeping and corporate loopholes, we only pay three dollars a year.” – Mr. Smithers “You’re right, we’re getting screwed!” – C.M. Burns