Tag: The Last Temptation of Krust

♫”Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, sixty-five tons of American pride! Canyonero . . . Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero . . . Canyonero!”♫ – Hank Williams, Jr.

“Charity, huh? What’s my cut? Nothing! I make more than that taking a schvitz!” – Krusty the Klown

“You can be so cruel when you’re sober.” – Sideshow Mel “Well, I’ll fix that! I’m goin’ on the bender to end all benders!” – Krusty the Klown

“Excuse me, sir, do you like to laugh?” – Laugh ‘Til You Care Guy “Why, yes. Yes, I do.” – Homer Simpson “Well, then you’ll love our comedy festival. It’s for a good cause.” – Laugh ‘Til You Care Guy “A rest home for pirates?” – Homer Simpson

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” – Canyonero Guy #1 “I hope so.” – Canyonero Guy #2 “I thought I made myself clear in Boston.” – Canyonero Guy #1

“Four drink minimum?” – Marge Simpson “I’ll cover you, honey.” – Homer Simpson

“Oh, pew, what were you drinking, gasoline?” – Bart Simpson “Yes, I was drinking gasoline, mother.” – Krusty the Klown

“Mom, these are at least two sizes too big.” – Lisa Simpson “Perfect, you’ll grow into them.” – Marge Simpson “When?” – Bart Simpson “Oh, you’re both way overdue for a spurt.” – Marge Simpson

“Look at my life. I’m talking to a monkey and a . . . I don’t know what the hell you are.” – Krusty the Klown

“These days, people like observational humor, about things they deal with in everyday life.” – Jay Leno “Oh, yeah, you mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz?” – Krusty the Klown “Well, kind of.” – Jay Leno

“Uh, Krusty?” – Bart Simpson “Hang on, kid, I got a tack in my head.” – Krusty the Klown

“That’s where you’re wrong, pal.  It’s not enough to want a cracker, you have to earn it.” – Homer Simpson

“Hey.  Hey.  I’m Kent Brockman, the clown, filling in for Krusty the Clown, who didn’t come in today.  He is presumed dead or on vacation.  Today’s top joke, it seems a local moron threw his clock out the window.  We’ll tell you why, right after this.” – Kent Brockman

“Wow, a clown!  Do you think he’s evil?” – Todd Flanders “He smells evil.” – Rod Flanders “Should we tell Daddy?” – Todd Flanders “No,  let’s poke him a little while longer.” – Rod Flanders

“Oh, rats.  Talk about bad luck.  I forgot to wear socks today.  Guess I can’t try those on.” – Lisa Simpson “No problem, you can wear the store sock.” – Gil “Eww.” – Lisa Simpson

“Look, Homer, there’s that bird you like to argue with.” – Marge Simpson “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Professor Know It All.  Excuse me, Marge.” – Homer Simpson