“Okay, when I call your name, uh, you say ‘present’ or ‘here’. No, say ‘present’.” – Moe If there’s one scene that’s been played over and over again in Zombie Simpsons, it’s the listing of the celebrity names. Once upon a time even celebrities playing themselves (James Woods, Tito Puente, everybody from “Homer at the Bat” and “Krusty Gets Kancelled”) got actual introductions. Now they appear and have their names read aloud. This is actual dialogue spoken by Lisa in “The Great Simpsina”: Ricky Jay. David Copperfield. Penn. Teller. It sounds like she’s reading roll call at a talent agency picnic. Once all of them had shouted “present”, we got the usual self serving celebrity dialogue of feeble jokes at their own expense. It’s marketing masquerading as satire, and it’s the kind of humorless comedy that used to be restricted to award shows and The Hollywood Squares. That sad conclusion, the fight scene felt like watching someone play a bad Final Fantasy clone, came at the end of your standard sitcom “child meets old person guest star, learns stuff” story. These have been around forever, and this wasn’t a particularly well done version. Along the way, Lisa got to be the instant professional, Jack McBrayer got to play Kenneth on a show other than 30 Rock, and there was a harmless “parody” of Criss Angel. The numbers are in and they are atrocious. For the sake of decimal consistency, I have to round off last night’s numbers and use my standard two decimal places, which gives a number of 5.00 million viewers. However, it’s worth nothing that TV By the Numbers goes to three decimal places, and last night’s came in just a shade under 5 million at 4.996. Even the rounded number makes this the lowest rated episode of all time, coming in well below last year’s “Million Dollar Maybe”, and the third decimal place makes it the first episode to ever come in under five million viewers. Two more episodes at roughly this level will drag Season 22 into a virtual tie with Season 20 for lowest rated ever, and three will put it over the top, so to speak.
Tag: The PTA Disbands
Quote of the Day
“All this free time, I never thought I’d get sick of ‘Razor Fight II: The Slashening’.” – Dolph “I probably should stop, my doctor says I have the wrists of an eighty year old.” – Kearney
Compare & Contrast: Field Trips
“Damn, I shouldn’t have eaten the mint first.” – Otto Like so many Zombie Simpsons episodes, “The Scorpion’s Tale” is a creaking mess of unconnected segments, many of which have little or nothing to do with one another. Also like so many Zombie Simpsons episodes, many of these segments are ideas and concepts that have already been done years before. For example, at one point in this episode Grampa moves in and acts cranky. “Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"”, anyone? Then the family visits a pharmaceutical lab where they make a few industry jokes and, wouldn’t you know it, Homer gets accidentally dosed with something (“Brother’s Little Helper”). Then the old people go on the generational warpath much as they do in “Wild Barts Can’t be Broken”. Those are all inexact in at least some way; however, there is one segment that lines up nearly perfectly with a vastly better forerunner. At the opening of “The Scorpion’s Tale”, the kids from Springfield Elementary (though curiously none of their teachers), go on a field trip. At the opening of “The PTA Disbands”, the kids from Springfield Elementary (with their teacher), also go on a field trip. First of all, as Mike Russo pointed out in comments yesterday, there’s the issue of just who is on this field trip: I only watched the first couple of minutes but why were Skinner, Chalmers and bits and pieces of Hoover’s and Krabapple’s class on a field trip together? I love how no one has any care at all about how things are supposed to logically work as long as Skinner, Chalmers and Ralph Wiggum can be a scene together. We like to bitch around here about the fact that Chalmers is in every school related scene now, he’s less of a superintendent than a sidekick these days, but the absence of either Hoover or Krabappel is just as telling. Instead of making this a class field trip for Lisa’s grade (so she can find the scorpions and the flowers), they make this a Zombie Simpsons field trip, with only the most prominent characters from Springfield Elementary allowed to attend. In “The PTA Disbands”, on the other hand, the trip to the Civil War fort is very clearly one that Bart’s class is taking. Neither Lisa nor Hoover is there, but Uter and Krabappel are. Skinner is there but, and here’s something we haven’t seen in a long time, Chalmers isn’t. Beyond the participants, the real difference between these two field trips is in what goes on during each of them, both within the scene and in relation to the rest of the episode. For starters, consider the conversation Skinner has with Chalmers in “The Scorpion’s Tale” versus the ones he has with Krabappel in “The PTA Disbands”. In “The Scorpion’s Tale”, Chalmers shows up to exchange a single scene of sitcom-y insult humor with Skinner. Other than that his presence is completely superfluous, but they…
Year End Posting Schedule
“Milhouse, I found a hive of killer bees. You want to go throw rocks at it?” – Bart Simpson “Sorry Bart, I’m deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome Scandal.” – Milhouse van Houten “Huh?” – Bart Simpson “However, it might be feasible in a fortnight.” – Milhouse van Houten “Wha?” – Bart Simpson “I can play in two weeks.” – Milhouse van Houten “Juh?” – Bart Simpson Apologies in advance for the vagueness of this, but posting is going to be random and light for the next couple of weeks (quotes of the day will continue as usual, of course). I was hoping to stick to something resembling a regular schedule, but it looks like that’s not in the cards. In addition to a few other things, there should be a some more “Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry” though. Those trailed off after that six week stretch of new Zombie Simpsons, and I very much want to send Disc 4 of Season 13 back to Netflix so it can blight someone else’s DVD player. Many thanks to all our commenters and the many more silent readers.
Quote of the Day
“Hey, they’re trying to learn for free!” – Enemy Soldier “Get ’em!” – Tour Guide “Use your phony guns as clubs!” – Member of the Ninth Bearded Infantry
Syllabus
“Can I play with it?” – Kindergartener “No you can’t play with it! You won’t enjoy it on as many levels as I do.” – Professor Frink Denise Du Vernay and the awesomely named Karma Waltonen recently came out with a book about how you can use The Simpsons in the classroom. We’ve mentioned it a few times around here but, since I haven’t read it, those mentions have been kinda brief (see: yesterday’s Reading Digest). Well, I still haven’t read the book, but Du Vernay, subbing in at USA Today’s Pop Candy blog, published a Simpsons syllabus (via) she uses for a college composition course titled “The Simpsons: Satire and Postmodernism”. The syllabus contains a week by week schedule of the topics to be covered and the relevant episodes to watch. Here’s a sample: Week 3: The Simpsons & Politics: View: Much Apu About Nothing (1996, Season 7); Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (1991, Season 3); Citizen Kang (1996, Season 8); Sideshow Bob Roberts (1994, Season 6). Have read: Aeon J. Skoble’s "Lisa and American Anti-Intellectualism." (Recommended Home Viewing: Bart-Mangled Banner (2004, Season 15); Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (1989, Season 2)). Journals 3 & 4 due. As you can see, there are two classes of episodes here, “View”, and the less imperative “Recommended Home Viewing”. Over the ten weeks of the course, the students are required to view thirty-three episodes (plus the movie, shudder), and recommended to view twenty-seven episodes. Complete list goes here: Required Recommended Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (Season 1) Homer the Heretic (Season 4) Lisa the Skeptic (Season 9) Bart Gets an F (Season 2) Simpsons Bible Stories (Season 10) Much Apu About Nothing (Season 7) Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (Season 3) Citizen Kang (Season 8) Sideshow Bob Roberts (Season 6). Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo (Season 10) The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson (Season 9) The Crepes of Wrath (Season 1) Bart Vs. Australia (Season 6) Homer Badman (Season 6) Duffless (Season 4) Attack of the 50′ Eyesores (Season 7) Secrets of a Successful Marriage (Season 5) Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (Season 7) A Milhouse Divided (Season 8) Brother From the Same Planet (Season 4) Homer’s Phobia (Season 8) Colonel Homer (Season 3) Natural Born Kissers (Season 9) Life on the Fast Lane (Season 1) Homer Goes to College (Season 5) Separate Vocations (Season 3) Whacking Day (Season 4) The PTA Disbands (Season 6) Two Bad Neighbors (Season 7) Homer’s Enemy (Season 8) Homer Cubed (Season 7) The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show (Season 8) The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular (Season 7) Bart Sells His Soul (Season 7) She of Little Faith (Season 13) The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star (Season 16) Joy of Sect (Season 9) The Monkey Suit (Season 17) Faith Off (Season 11) Bart-Mangled Banner (Season 15) Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (Season 2) The Regina Monologues (Season 15) Blame it on…
Reading Digest: Pageview Boycott Edition
“Good news people! I’m happy to announce that another union has joined us in a sympathy strike, the Piano Tuners Local Four-Twelve!” – Mrs. Krabappel It won’t matter, and I probably shouldn’t tamper with forces I don’t understand, but my boycott of Entertainment Weekly’s stupid “best character” list continues. It combines things I truly hate: arguing over specific placements on pop culture lists, mindless Zombie Simpsons rah-rah (“twenty years and going strong!”), and Entertainment Weekly. (I do not consider it a coincidence that their website’s URL is best pronounced “eww”.) However, their pageview ploy worked so well that I did find two links that are worth a look. Helpfully, both of them go to other blogs, so I don’t feel too dirty. We’ve also got two YouTube versions of the “Talkin’ Softball” song, a Simpsons/Rule 34 image that’s funny and non-pornographic, some excellent usage, and a couple of different people ragging on Zombie Simpsons. Enjoy. …Woo Hoo! – Getting the best character stuff out of the way early, here’s a defense of Homer that gets linked because it comes with YouTube from “Marge on the Lam”. Is Homer Simpson Really the Top TV Character of All Time? – This link makes the argument for Bart over Homer as #1. Everett toy shop outgrows the Web, opens shop – The only item in the store that’s not for sale? The big Simpsons characters from the movie. Click here and scroll down for an image. Homer Simpson vs. The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Shut up and eat your pinecone! The Simpsons Did It…Twice – Just a few more examples of recycled ideas in Zombie Simpsons. Homer And Bart Simpson Electronic Dart Board Game – Krusty Brand Seal of Approval on this one. Homer and Bart’s faces cover much of the board, and it doesn’t even look like it has numbers on it. You want to stick Homer and Bart on a dart board? Fine. But at least make it playable. (via) The Real Life Ned Flanders – Wow, that guy does look like Flanders. Old school – This is just a screen grab of Bart reading about Whacking Day, the quote is slightly off: “Don’t bother the snakes. Leave the snakes alone.” Barry White’s actual lyric is “Leave all the snakes alone.” That nit picked, the blog it came from, “Inverted Soapbox”, gets an overall gold star for excellent usage. It not only uses Mr. Burns to help explain the hidden pitfalls of vegetarianism, but the about page is titled “Guh?” and includes this: My mom thinks it’s cool. Well done. This isn’t about show business. This is about some kid down a hole or something. – Low grade YouTube is still funny. Glove Box Fun – Speaking of pointless YouTube, I cracked a smile at this: Well I guess there a little Homer Simpson in all of us. It would’ve been better with “Box goes open/box goes closed”. Lisa Simpson, saxophone player – This is just a nicely written piece about…
Quote of the Day
“There’s no way I’ll get into an Ivy League school now. At this rate, I probably won’t even get into Vassar.” – Lisa Simpson “I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar bashing, young lady.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Seymour, the children are playing in the hole again. Shouldn’t you get that fixed?” – Mrs. Krabappel “Edna, you know they just cut the school’s budget. Besides, if I had the money I’d fix the exhaust leak in the back. Frankly, I think it’s causing some of our low test scores.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“And Bart isn’t doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There’s something about flying a kite at night that’s so unwholesome.” – Marge Simpson “Hello, mother dear.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Relax? I can’t relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or… Only two synonyms? (Groans.) Oh my God. I’m losing my perspicacity!” – Lisa Simpson