“Let’s see, I want a nice sandwich, but the Joey Bishop, too fatty. The Jackie Mason, I don’t know, sauerkraut makes me gassy. The Bruce Willis? I don’t even like his work. What is this: Krusty the Klown?” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “That’s ham, sausage, and bacon with a smidge of mayo.” – Waitress “What?” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “On white bread.” – Waitress
Month: April 2018
Quote of the Day
“Is that what we do in this family? When someone becomes an inconvenience we just get rid of them?” – Lisa Simpson “Hello? Is anybody there? Aww…” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“How did this happen?” – Barney Gumble “Oh, that. You’ve had that for a while.” – Lenny “Yeah, I can’t really picture you without it.” – Carl
Quote of the Day
“Thank you, señor MacGyver. You’ve saved our village!” – Villager “Don’t thank me. Thank the Moon’s gravitational pull.” – MacGyver
Quote of the Day
“Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who’s been hiccuping for forty-five years.” – Kent Brockman “Hic – Kill me – hic – kill me…” – Hiccup Guy
Quote of the Day
“Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?” – Kent Brockman “Because I’m an idiot! Happy?” – Krusty the Klown Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Trouble with Trillions”! Original airdate 5 April 1998.
Quote of the Day
“Jonah! You died the way you lived: inside a whale.” – King David
Quote of the Day
“Bart, your soul is the only part of you that lasts forever! For five dollars Milhouse could own you for a zillion years.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, if you think he got such a good deal, I’ll sell you my conscience for four-fifty. I’ll throw in my sense of decency too! It’s a Bart sales event! Everything about me must go!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson “A deer!” – Lisa Simpson “A female deer!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Thanks for coming to visit me, Moe.” – Homer Simpson “I brought you a little present.” – Moe “No! No! Beer bring pain!” – Homer Simpson “I can’t stand to see him like this.” – Barney Gumble “He really needs a girlfriend.” – Moe