Tag: Like Father Like Clown

“In order to keep our broadcasting license we devote Sunday night dead time to public service shows of limited appeal. In that spirit, we bring you Gabbin’ About God.” – KBBL Announcer

“Bart, we’ve been going about this all wrong. What’s the one thing rabbis prize above everything else?” – Lisa Simpson “Those stupid hats?” – Bart Simpson “No, Bart, knowledge. . . . We’re gonna hit him where it hurts, right in the Judaica.” – Lisa Simpson

“Let’s see, I want a nice sandwich, but the Joey Bishop, too fatty. The Jackie Mason, I don’t know, sauerkraut makes me gassy. The Bruce Willis? I don’t even like his work. What is this: Krusty the Klown?” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “That’s ham, sausage, and bacon with a smidge of mayo.” – Waitress “What?” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “On white bread.” – Waitress

“Do you know that my son Herschel was first in his Yeshiva class? As a matter of fact, he was voted the most likely to hear God.” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky “Oh, go on, Hyman, you’re exaggerating again, you’re so proud of your son.” – Other Rabbi “A rabbi would never exaggerate! A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts, he tells stories that may never have happened, but he does not exaggerate!” – Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky

“Could you direct me to President Francois Mitterand’s table?” – Krusty the Klown “You think you’re funny?” – Waitress “Fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong!” – Krusty the Klown Completely screwed this up yesterday. Sorry.

“Our first caller is from Shelbyville Heights.” – KBBL DJ “Yes, hi, with all the suffering and injustice in the world, do you ever wonder if God really exists?” – Caller “No.” – Reverend Lovejoy “Not for a second.” – Monsignor Kenneth Daly Not at all.” – Rabbi Hymen Krustovsky “Great.  Good conversation there.” – KBBL DJ

“Don’t worry, Lis.  I got a plan that can’t fail. . . . Yiddle, my man, you’re a genius.” – Bart Simpson “I love my work.” – Yiddle

“Poor Krusty.” – Bart Simpson “A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.” – Lisa Simpson

“Oy, this guy’s tough.” – Bart Simpson “Bart, we’re gonna have to outsmart him.” – Lisa Simpson “I don’t know, he’s pretty sharp.  He saw right through this disguise.” – Bart Simpson

“Now, can you give us the rabbi’s address?” – Bart Simpson “Oh, sure thing, let me just check my non-Christian rolodex.” – Reverend Lovejoy

“And I haven’t seen my father since.” – Krusty the Klown “That is so sad.” – Lisa Simpson “Krusty, do you think about your father a lot?” – Bart Simpson “All the time . . . except when I’m at the track.  Then it’s all business.” – Krusty the Klown

“Boy, you don’t have to follow in my footsteps.” – Homer Simpson “Don’t worry, I don’t even like using the bathroom after you.” – Bart Simpson “Why you little!” – Homer Simpson