“And did I mention that the monster is a 10-year old boy? Quite a twist, huh? Bet you didn’t see that one coming.” – Narrator The brain searingly awful third act of this monstrosity is based off of a short lived 1960s British television program called The Prisoner. It’s a sort of lamented cult classic for nerds and geeks of an older vintage than me. Had I, or any of my friends or family, heard of The Prisoner when “The Computer Wore Menace Shoes” was first broadcast we might not have been quite so bewildered by the whole island kidnapping…
Category: Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry
“Day of the Jackanapes” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“So what’s your big idea, how do we end this?” – Roger Myers Jr. “Hmmm, let’s see . . . um . . . oh, couldn’t Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? Then they would both have pie.” – Marge Simpson “It’s different, I’ll give you that.” – Roger Myers Jr. This is the Sideshow Bob episode from Season 12 and by the rock bottom standards of Season 12 it’s not 100% terrible, more like 95% terrible. So while it has a couple of good lines (I like Bob asking to live in the storage unit) it’s still got a…
“New Kids on the Blecch” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“That took a lot of class.” – Troy McClure I had genuinely forgotten just how bad some of these Season 12 episodes are. I remember when this boy band episode was first broadcast, and I remember hating it, but I’d forgotten how painfully long it is. And I know it clocks in at the usual amount of time, but the third act of this one is terribly boring, even by the standards of Zombie Simpsons. There’s a concert on the ship, then it sails to New York, then they blow up the Mad Magazine building for some reason and it…
“Tennis the Menace” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“I don’t want to judge the rightness of your ego orientation, but my inner critic says you should have done your job.” – Marge Simpson There is a definite theme on the Season 12 commentaries so far. That theme is an almost complete indifference to telling a coherent story. I say “almost complete” because when the commentators do acknowledge the lack of story they seem kinda pleased with themselves. It’s like a mechanic telling you, “Yeah, I didn’t fix your transmission, but who really needs one of those, amirite?” Anyway, this episode sucks ass. 1:00: There are eight guys commenting,…
“Skinner’s Sense of Snow” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Oh sure, there were a lot of laughs. You probably couldn’t hear them, the acoustics were so bad.” – Bart Simpson I’ve always hated this episode for the simple reason that Springfield Elementary used to be a fountain of unlimited comedy and now they’ve turned it into a horror show. “Skinner’s Sense of Snow” had a decent premise, kids trapped in snow bound school, and then proceeded to run it into the ground with weird plot twists, characterless jokes and a plot stretched so thin to fill the allotted time that it obliterates whatever plausibility the premise originally had. There…
“Simpson Safari” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“I’m gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of Amaretto. Good day.” – Llewellyn Sinclair Oh the rancid joys of Zombie Simpsons on DVD. There are so many episodes in this season I genuinely hate that it was hard to know where to start, so I began with my own personal Season 12 nemesis, “Simpson Safari”. To call this episode bad is an understatement; to call it a mess doesn’t even begin to describe it. It is a random collection of boring set pieces that instantly plummets to the deepest possible nadir of boredom. It is Zombie Simpsons. Holding my…