“Look what I snagged, Marge: the candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .” “. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: A Fish Called Selma
Quote of the Day
“In a bold move that has stunned Hollywood insiders, newly divorced comeback kid Troy McClure has turned down the supporting lead in McBain 4 to direct and star in his own pet project, the Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel. Will the gambit pay off? Twentieth Century Fox is betting it will.” – Not John Tesh
Quote of the Day
“Troy, my man, it’s MacArthur Parker.” – MacArthur Parker“MacArthur Parker the agent? MacArthur Parker my agent?” – Troy McClure“Just checkin’ in, my friend. So, how’s my favorite client?” – MacArthur Parker“We haven’t spoken in eight years.” – Troy McClure“Yes! So, I saw the papers today, Troy. Looking good, that wholesome stuff really helps when I’m trying to find you work.” – MacArthur Parker“You haven’t found me work in twelve years.” – Troy McClure“Oh, you, jury duty is work.” – MacArthur Parker
Quote of the Day
“It’s so modern. It’s ultra-modern! Like living in the not too distant future.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?” – Mac Parker “The movie or the planet?” – Troy McClure
Rock Us, Dr. Zaius
“I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z!” – Troy McClure This afternoon, Vulture published an oral history of Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!, featuring interviews with Alf Clausen, David S/X Cohen, Chris Ledesma, Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein, and Mark Kirkland. (Dana Gould too, but, you know, why?) The whole thing is well worth a read, but I thought I’d highlight a few pieces: Oakley: Our goal when we took over was to copy season three. Season three of The Simpsons — which we didn’t work on by the way — was the best season of any TV show of all time. When we took over, we said, “What was it about season three that made it so good?” We reverse-engineered it and said, “Well, a lot of the stories were pretty grounded, but they took a couple of crazy leaps out into space with like, ‘Homer at the Bat.’” They did seven Homer episodes, three Lisa episodes, a Sideshow Bob, an Itchy and Scratchy, so we did exactly the same thing. Now as far as the Selma episode, there was an episode in season three where she’s going to marry Sideshow Bob. I’ve heard Oakley and Weinstein talk about their (justified) love for Season 3, but I never knew they followed it that closely. On one of the most memorable lines: Cohen: The reason I remember the moment at all is that it got a big reaction in the room from the other writers, much better than I had expected. So into the script in went. To overanalyze it a little, the question is what, if anything, makes the line better than a run-of-the-mill pun on the word “chimpanzee.” The fun of it I think is that you get the joke prematurely during the contrived setup, without even needing to get to the pun part. It’s a slightly weird line in that sense. I used to use that line as the ringtone for a friend of mine who had a (legit) job giving cocaine to monkeys. On Homer and Bart’s love of “legitimate the-a-ter”: Mark Kirkland (director for The Simpsons, 1990–present): It was a script that made me laugh a lot to begin with. The thing that struck me was the satire of those classic movies being made into Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, like The Phantom of the Opera and Sunset Boulevard. I caught both of those in the theater so I knew what we were trying to do based on those. My favorite lines were the one is when Bart says, “This play has everything!” and Homer goes, “Oh, I love legitimate the-a-ter!” The saying we talk about in art and drawing, but it comes from food preparation: A good salad doesn’t have everything in it, and here they are enjoying it because it does. They don’t know how bad it is! It’s a critical success. That is such a wonderful Simpsons joke, packing so much meaning into two lines and some…
Quote of the Day
“Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? . . . Oh, come on, guess which one!” – Selma McClure “I know! I know! It’s Selma, right?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Having a baby isn’t supposed to be work. It’s supposed to be an expression of the feelings we’re supposed to have for each other.” – Selma McClure “Oh, like how we built that snowman together in that Newport ad? Remember how alive with pleasure they said we were?” – Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Homer, isn’t this your sister-in-law on a date with Troy McClure?” – Lenny “Pfft, Troy McClure, he’s a washed up movie star! He could be dating washed up supermodels.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Selma, Jub-Jub is fantastic! He’s everywhere you wanna be!” – Troy McClure Sorry this went up late.
Quote of the Day
“All these celebrities on the walls. I just know a big star like you is up there somewhere.” – Selma Bouvier “Ah, yes, I’m over there.” – Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“So, working at the DMV must be very interesting.” – Troy McClure “I think I’m getting repetitive stress disorder from scratching my butt all day.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, it’s a good idea, Homer, but they’ve already made some movies about World War II.” – Drunken Troy McClure
Quote of the Day
“Tonight, Seventies leading man Troy McClure has finally met the woman of his dreams. We may remem-. . . woman? Huh. Okay. We may remember Troy from such films as The Verdict Was Mail Fraud and Leper in the Backfield.” – Not John Tesh
Bonus Quote of the Day
“This better be important. It’s my wedding night, I’m trying to sleep.” – Troy McClure Phil Hartman would’ve been 65 today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“Movie For a Rained-Out Ballgame now returns to Dyan Cannon, Troy McClure, and the Muppets in the 1977 film, The Muppets Go Medieval.” – TV Announcer
Today in Things I Thought Already Happened
“Watch out, Laszlo Panaflex!” – Troy McClure Matt Groening is getting a tile on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I found this out via a press release we got this afternoon, but if you’d asked me this morning whether or not he already had one, I would’ve said “Probably?”. Here are the official details: MATT GROENING CELEBRATES 500TH EPISODE OF “THE SIMPSONS” WITH STAR ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME WHO: Matt Groening Emcee: Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, President/CEO Leron Gubler Guest speakers: Hank Azaria (voice of Moe, Chief Wiggum, plus others) and Yeardley Smith (voice of Lisa Simpson). WHAT: 2,459th Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in the Category of TELEVISION WHERE: 7021 Hollywood Boulevard at the corner of Sycamore near The Simpson’s star WHEN: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 at 11:30 a.m. “The Simpson’s star”? Does no one at hip, edgy Web 2.0 marketing firms proofread anymore? The rest of the press release contains more indirect comedy, like the mini-biography that uses the registered trademark symbol four times in five sentences, just in case you forgot that “Life In Hell®” after the first one. More amusing still is this bit from the legalese at the end: The information in this email and any attached files is confidential. It is intended solely for the use of the addressee. Any unauthorized disclosure or use is prohibited. It’s a fucking press release! The whole point of sending it to me is to get me to disclose its contents, but apparently that’s prohibited. Oops. Anyway, good for Groening. And if anyone goes to the ceremony, do me a favor and count how many times they make “what an honor to have people’s shoes all over my name” type jokes.
Reading Digest: Muppets Edition
“Dad, what’s a Muppet?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, it’s not quite a mop, and it’s not quite a puppet, but man . . . so to answer your question, I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson Shorter than usual Reading Digest this week on account of Thanksgiving, but there are a couple of links relating to the new Muppet movie. One is the quote above, which was very popular when discussing the revival of the moribund Muppets franchise, the other is a reference to none other than Poochie by the director himself. As usual, once The Simpsons comments on something, it sticks around forever. Besides that there’s two great pieces of fan art, some excellent usage, the pepper spray meme, and some despair at network television’s fan unfriendly cancellation decisions. Enjoy. Milhouse Art – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this excellent fan made Milhouse art. I especially like the second one. Nobody Likes Milhouse! – Animated .gif with subtitles. Occupy Wall Street Supporter Makes Jay-Z "Scrooge" Sculpture – That is a neat sculpture, particularly the Mr. Burns head sandwiched between Hova and Scrooge McDuck. Pepper spraying cop meme: next level – Chief Wiggum goes to UC Davis. IAR Press Conference Coverage: ‘The Muppets’ – Lots of people quoted this in response to the new Muppets movie, please consider this link a stand in for the rest of them: In a now ancient but in no way diminished episode of The Simpsons, Lisa asks Homer, "Dad, what’s a Muppet?" To which her father replies, "Well, it’s not quite a mop, and not quite a puppet, but man," and laughs with a satisfied chuckle before adding, "To answer your question: I don’t know." Aside from being a typically quotable moment of vintage Simpsons, this exchange actually gets to the essence of The Muppets. Intellectually, we know that Jim Henson‘s creations are simply felt puppets, yet they’re imbued with such character and life that we wholly believe them as living organisms with heart and soul. Excellent usage. Director James Bobin Talks ‘The Muppets’ – Hey, speaking of the Muppets, here’s an interview with the director of the new movie about a new Muppet they made: Anytime you hear that, there’s going to be a new character, you’re all, “Oh no…” It’s like in The Simpsons, when they did that great episode about the skateboarding ninja dog. Oh yeah, Poochie! Poochie! Right, Poochie is a guy who’s created by the network to make it cool. They just have this disastrous idea, and they have another random character who’s just living in [The Simpsons’] house. The Simpsons were always very honest about that sort of thing. Literally, the death knell of any great idea is that committee coming together to create a character to put in the show, because the demographics demand it. The Simpsons named US TV show with greatest influence on Britain – I don’t know enough about British culture to speak to this, but you’ll get no argument from me. The…
Reading Digest: Getting Off the Planet of the Apes Edition
“I love you, Dr. Zaius!” – Troy McClure Today, Hollywood’s second attempt to reboot a 1960s sci-fi franchise that (except for the first one) wasn’t that good in the first place opens in theaters nationwide. This has prompted everyone and their mother to mention and post links to Troy McClure and “Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!”. I’ve winnowed it down to just a couple of links below, including two different bootleg videos of the multi-million dollar musical in question. I hope they invited Jeff Goldblum to the premier. On top of that, we’ve got two people who agree with us, poor political usage, some tattoos, and an actual Zombie Simpson. Enjoy. The Alabaster Sock – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is this excellently anguished Simpsons rant that wouldn’t be out of place on our very own homepage. I particularly like this: It could be an easily ignored program if it didn’t seem like a mediocre puppeteer controlling the corpse of something once great. So I avoid it not just because it’s no good, but because it’s no good and it was once the greatest and that makes me cringe. Highly recommended. Keeping up with The Simpsons – This is another anodyne article about the animation process from that tour they gave reporters a couple of weeks ago. I just thought I’d highlight this: With the series approaching its 500th episode — a milestone it will reach in February — Kirkland admits one of the big challenges is trying not to repeat themselves. When a recent script called for Homer to harpoon a whale, Kirkland recalled that he’d already animated that. If that’s not the perfect anecdote for where the show is right now, I don’t know what is. Rise of The Planet of The Apes…In 10 Words – C’mon, you knew this was coming. I still laughed. Zombie Bart Simpson by ~Beth182 on deviantART – Awesome fan made drawing of a true Zombie Simpson. (There are a couple of links at the bottom to some of her other Simpsons drawings as well.) simpsons embroidery project – part 3: slowly but surely – Simpsons embroidery is back, baby! It’s Homer with his giant foam cowboy hat and air horn. In ink or fabric, the look on his face remains priceless. QUOTABLES – A couple of fan made designs with quotes from the show. Nice. Sen. Amy Koch sees political ‘classic situation’ in poll results – Poor political usage: She repeated a bit of dialogue from the episode in which a mechanized disc jockey, DJ 2000, was being unveiled: “How ’bout those clowns in Congress?” DJ 2000 says. “How does he keep up with current events like that?” an obviously impressed Homer wonders. Nice try, State Senator. For the record, the actual quote is: DJ 3000: Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns. Bill: How does he keep up with the news like that? Santa Cruz X The…
Compare & Contrast: Selma & Her Famous Husbands
“Cigarette, Mrs. McClure?” – Waiter “You bet! From now on, she’s smoking for two.” – Troy McClure Once upon a time, Selma married a famous guy for all the wrong reasons and it didn’t work out. Fifteen years later, Zombie Simpsons decided they hadn’t regurgitated that plot line recently, and did it again. I am speaking, of course, of “A Fish Called Selma” and “The Real Housewives of Fat Tony”. There are three specific scenes I want to compare: 1.) Meeting Mr. Wrong at the DMV 2.) Getting Hitched 3.) The Big Reveal (wherein it is revealed that this marriage isn’t going to work out) Obviously more than that goes on, especially in “A Fish Called Selma”, which uses Troy McClure’s resurgent career to mock celebrity, Broadway, and the movie business. But both episodes contain all three of those scenes, and they match up extraordinarily well (or poorly, depending on your point of view). 1. Meeting the Husband Selma initially meets both Troy McClure and Fat Tony in the course of her work as one of the desk lords at the department of motor vehicles. Right away, the radically different quality standards of The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons are apparent. Both Troy and Tony are famous, and neither is very likely to walk into some gray government office and hit it off with one of the most homely employees. The Simpsons took the time to show us why McClure was there, as well as why he’d be interested in Selma; Zombie Simpsons couldn’t be bothered, and had Fat Tony (along with the rest of Springfield) be there just because. In “A Fish Called Selma”, Troy McClure gets pulled over (in his dented DeLorean, no less) and told to head down to the DMV to get his license changed if he wants to drive without his glasses. This one scene means he’s not only got a reason to go to that drab office, but to make nice with whomever he finds behind the counter. We also know that he’s no longer a big enough star to have some lackey do this kind of thing for him. They do kinda make him look like a nerd. Tony, on the other hand, is a connected and powerful mob boss. What the hell is he doing at the DMV in line with citizens? He seems like he’d have underlings to go fetch dinky forms for him (which, by the way, he does in “A Fish Called Selma”). Setting that aside, the show could still give us a reason why he’d be there. And, let’s face it, if you can’t think of several funny reasons for a mob boss to need to go to the DMV, you probably shouldn’t be working as a comedy writer. This is how low the give-a-shit level is for Zombie Simpsons, they couldn’t be bothered to come up with a reason – even a jokey one – for the two main characters to meet. It’s so transparently lazy that you…