Tag: A Fish Called Selma

“Look what I snagged, Marge: the  candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .” “. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson

“In a bold move that has stunned Hollywood insiders, newly divorced comeback kid Troy McClure has turned down the supporting lead in McBain 4 to direct and star in his own pet project, the Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel. Will the gambit pay off? Twentieth Century Fox is betting it will.” – Not John Tesh

“Troy, my man, it’s MacArthur Parker.” – MacArthur Parker“MacArthur Parker the agent? MacArthur Parker my agent?” – Troy McClure“Just checkin’ in, my friend. So, how’s my favorite client?” – MacArthur Parker“We haven’t spoken in eight years.” – Troy McClure“Yes! So, I saw the papers today, Troy. Looking good, that wholesome stuff really helps when I’m trying to find you work.” – MacArthur Parker“You haven’t found me work in twelve years.” – Troy McClure“Oh, you, jury duty is work.” – MacArthur Parker

“It’s so modern. It’s ultra-modern! Like living in the not too distant future.” – Selma Bouvier

“Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?” – Mac Parker “The movie or the planet?” – Troy McClure

“Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? . . . Oh, come on, guess which one!” – Selma McClure “I know! I know! It’s Selma, right?” – Homer Simpson

“Having a baby isn’t supposed to be work.  It’s supposed to be an expression of the feelings we’re supposed to have for each other.” – Selma McClure “Oh, like how we built that snowman together in that Newport ad? Remember how alive with pleasure they said we were?” – Troy McClure

“Hey, Homer, isn’t this your sister-in-law on a date with Troy McClure?” – Lenny “Pfft, Troy McClure, he’s a washed up movie star!  He could be dating washed up supermodels.” – Homer Simpson

“Selma, Jub-Jub is fantastic! He’s everywhere you wanna be!” – Troy McClure Sorry this went up late.  

“All these celebrities on the walls.  I just know a big star like you is up there somewhere.” – Selma Bouvier “Ah, yes, I’m over there.” – Troy McClure

“So, working at the DMV must be very interesting.” – Troy McClure “I think I’m getting repetitive stress disorder from scratching my butt all day.” – Selma Bouvier

“Yeah, it’s a good idea, Homer, but they’ve already made some movies about World War II.” – Drunken Troy McClure

“Tonight, Seventies leading man Troy McClure has finally met the woman of his dreams.  We may remem-. . . woman?  Huh.  Okay.  We may remember Troy from such films as The Verdict Was Mail Fraud and Leper in the Backfield.” – Not John Tesh

“Movie For a Rained-Out Ballgame now returns to Dyan Cannon, Troy McClure, and the Muppets in the 1977 film, The Muppets Go Medieval.” – TV Announcer