“If you really wanted us to be neater, you’d serve us out of one long bowl.” – Bart Simpson “You’re talking about a trough. We’re not going to eat from a trough. And another thing, it’s only five-fifteen, why are you in your underwear?” – Marge Simpson “Hey, this ain’t the Ritz.” – Bart Simpson
Tag: A Milhouse Divided
Quote of the Day
“You’re letting me go?” – Kirk van Houten “Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don’t know. Frankly, we don’t want to know. It’s a market we can do without.” – Southern Cracker Executive
Compare & Contrast: Wedding Reception Guest Lists
“Would you guys do a favor for a guy in love?” – Kirk van Houten “Sure.” – Drummer “Yeah.” – Doobie Brother “It’s why we’re here.” – Keyboardist “Ned ‘N Edna’s Blend” uses a lot of ideas, characters and jokes from earlier episodes. There’s a religious school that’s more expository and less believably insane than the one in “Whacking Day”. There’s Flanders calling a talking dog “the spawn of the devil” when we all know from “Bart the Lover” that it’s Todd who considers the idea of a talking dog “blasphemous”. There’s even that poorly stereotyped theater guy, who’s not…
Quote of the Day
“Are you ready?” – Marge Simpson “Just got to put my shoes on.” – Homer Simpson “The only thing I asked you to do for this party was put on clothes, and you didn’t do it.” – Marge Simpson
“Significant” & “Lasting”: Two Words That Don’t Apply to Zombie Simpsons
“How about it, Luann, will you marry me, again?” – Kirk van Houten “Ooh, no.” – Luann van Houten “Uh, well, uh, can I have my shirts back at least?” – Kirk van Houten “Okay, you heard the lady, why don’t you take it outside, alright?” – Pyro “I’ll be back, prob-probably.” – Kirk van Houten To reinforce my point from last week that there’s really no way to change the show enough to make it interesting again without also destroying whatever is left of its appeal, I’d like to point out the Zombie Simpsons enforced absurdities of this list…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Kent Wang. “I shouldn’t have served those North Korean fortune cookies, they were so insulting. ‘You Are a Coward’, no one likes to hear that after a nice meal.” – Marge Simpson
“A Milhouse Divided” Spews Truth
“As you know, there’s been a lot of talk about divorce lately, and I think your mom might not be happy with me.” – Homer Simpson “You’ve done a lot of crazy stuff over the years, and she stood by you. Why would she leave you now?” – Lisa Simpson “Cause there’s lots of stuff she doesn’t know about.” – Homer Simpson “You mean like your poker shack out in the swamp?” – Lisa Simpson “Mmm-Hmm.” – Homer Simpson “She knows.” – Lisa Simpson I’ve been listening to a few of these older commentaries and, though I’m sure I’ll be…
Crazy Noises: Homer Scissorhands
“Homer, what are you doing?” – Marge Simpson “I wanted to surprise you with a kinky summer ’do. How many husbands would do that for their wives?” – Homer Simpson “None, they’d have more sense than that.” – Marge Simpson In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22. Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the…
Quote of the Day
“Homer, I want you to meet my new special lady. Say hello to Starla.” – Kirk van Houten “Can I have the key to the car, lover? I feel like changing wigs.” – Starla
Quote of the Day
“Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, boy! What’s going on, patio party?” – Kirk van Houten “Nah, possum drowned in the pool. Do you have any garbage bags?” – Jerry “Ahh, just throw it over the fence, let Arby’s worry about it.” – Kirk van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Singles life is great, Homer; I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.” – Kirk van Houten “The one down the hall.” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, and another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?” – Kirk van Houten “I sleep in a big bed with my wife.” – Homer Simpson
Grammatically Incoherent Synergy
“I didn’t want a hokey second wedding like those ones on TV. This one is for real.” – Homer Simpson I highly recommend clicking over to IGN for this week’s edition of Network Synergy and You. Not so much for the “review” itself, as it has been significantly improved below, but for the instantly recognizable image of Marge, which has been labeled with a caption that reads (and I am not making this up): “This is the character Marge Simpson from the animated television series The Simpsons.” Well, holy shit, I would not have been able to figure that one out…
Bubbling with Anticipation
I just clicked on the epguides.com link to tonight’s Zombie Simpsons. Here is what it says: After Marge and Homer’s marriage turns out to be invalid, they decide to re-do their vows. But when Homer goes missing, Bart and Lisa smell something funny and investigate his disappearance. Oh good, it’s a recycled plot and and adventure mystery. Color me tickled pink. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to pre-emptively watch “A Milhouse Divided” and “Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy” to steel my brain against tonight’s onslaught of stupid. (That’s Season 8 Disc 1 and Season 6 Disc 2, respectively, by the…