“I’m with you, Homer! Fight the power!” – Barney Gumble
Tag: Blood Feud
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Bart, it’s not like I’m asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You’re a little young to understand this, but when you save a rich man’s life, he showers you with riches! Don’t you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?” – Homer Simpson “Is it a Bible story?” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out. But nobody was strong enough. So, they got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty strength, and . . . bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big…thing…of riches.” – Homer Simpson “How did a lion get rich?” – Bart Simpson “It was the olden days!” – Homer Simpson “Oh.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Honey, what’s done is done. No matter what happens, we’ll pull through. We always do.” – Marge Simpson “Okay, here’s the plan. You can move in with your sisters and raise the kids and I’ll die in a gutter. It’s practical and within our means.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Whoa, Otto man, you work here?” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yeah. During the day all my friends are in school, so I got a job as a certified, blood letting tech dude!” – Otto “Now let’s get this show on the road.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, lemme wash up.” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“Hey, come on, Joey! Do you have to twist my arm?” – Homer Simpson “Homer, I don’t tell you how to do your job, okay?” – Joey
Quote of the Day
“Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” – Homer Simpson “Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” – Postal Clerk “I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson
Tuesday Evening Cartoons
“Bart, take a letter. Dear Mr. Burns, I’m so glad you enjoyed my son’s blood, and your card was just great.” – Homer Simpson Liver spots are one of those undeniable signs of aging that remind us and others that the robust younger years are far in the past. Mr. Burns, being very far indeed from his days as a barefoot boy with cheek of tan, has quite a lot of them, something The Simpsons liked to have fun with, most famously when Marge catches Burns coming out of the shower in “Brush with Greatness”. There’s another liver spot joke in Season 2, however, that’s so subtle that I doubt I noticed it for years after I first saw it. In “Blood Feud”, Homer angrily dictates a letter to Burns after receiving only a lousy card in exchange for saving the old man’s life: You are a senile, buck-toothed old mummy, with bony girls arms, and you smell like an elephant’s butt! Later, after Burns reads the letter and decides to have Homer fired, he’s ranting to Smithers about the contents: Senile, eh? Buck-toothed, am I? Bony arms, are they? Liver spots, did I? Notice the addition? Homer doesn’t mention the liver spots; Burns does. It’s the show taking a quick, barely perceptible potshot at Burns that you really have to be paying attention to catch. Burns doesn’t just have liver spots, despite his fearsome visage, he’s actually sensitive about them.
Quote of the Day
“Did you see their faces, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Sir, you’re my god of generosity.” – Mr. Smithers Rest in peace, Sam Simon.
Reading Digest: Mr. Burns Play Spreads
“I want the whole world to hear the story of my harrowing struggle with hypohemia.” – C.M. Burns The post-apocalyptic Mr. Burns play continues to spread. Local theater companies in both Arizona and Colorado are putting it on the next couple of weeks, and we have links to both. At this rate, the play itself might survive the apocalypse. In more regular links, we also have a couple more unhappy reviews of the crossover, some excellent usage, several .gifs, an in-depth look at the varieties of Duff on sale in Florida, and the relentless filler of Zombie Simpsons demonstrated in YouTube format. Enjoy. (Oh, and in case anyone cares, Season 17 will be released on home video on December 2nd. I got a nice press e-mail from FOX about it, including this image that has the entirely predictable details: The only interesting thing is that they’re including “Krusty Gets Busted” and “Cape Feare” on the Blu-Ray versions, and since I could get either of those with a good season, it’s a pretty weak upsell. That is all.) Bort license plate: Simpsons fans get them in real life, comprise nerdy club – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a story about license plates that comes with lots of cool anecdotes and pictures. All 554 Simpsons couch gags in one video – This was making the rounds this week, and is kind of neat. I would just like to point out that this is what it looks like halfway through: Please note that it’s almost entirely Zombie Simpsons, the only exception being (what I assume) is “The 138th Episode Spectacular”, where they replayed a bunch of them. They eat clock with this thing regularly (even when they do it themselves). 4 Ways The Simpsons Might End – Our old friend Bob Chipman lays out four scenarios. I’d suggest a fifth, if only because it almost happened three years ago: FOX cans the show and they have to pick something that’s already in production as the finale. Curtain Critic: ‘Mr. Burns’ at Space 55 manages dark, apocalyptic pop-culture comedy – Oh, cool, you can go see the Mr. Burns play in Phoenix for the next three weekends. Boulder troupe imagines ‘The Simpsons’ surviving apocalypse – And in Arizona too. Hey Internet, I Tried. Part 2: The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover – There was no way to fit all the reviews in last week, but the ones from this week aren’t any more positive: They might as well have had Maggie shoot Peter. Nothing sucks more than missed opportunities. The Family Guy/Simpsons crossover had a lot of that. So… the Family Guy and The Simpsons crossover – Oh, what the hell, one more: Was as we all expected, a flaming ball of excrement. I will keep this brief, as not much can, and not much needs to be said. Lukas Podolski posts picture of Danny Welbeck as a skinny Homer Simpson – And tall. ‘Simpsons’ Fan Complains About Too Many Quotes In Facebook Group – I am reminded often, if not quite daily,…
Reading Digest: Burns Is The Symbol of All Evil Edition
“Smithers, I’m not going to make it. I want to dictate my epitaph.” – C.M. Burns “Go ahead.” – Mr. Smithers “Charles Montgomery Burns. American . . . and Patriot. American Patriot. Master of the Atom. Scourge of the Despot. Oh, tyrant hear his mighty name and quake! Smithers, I’m back!” – C.M. Burns We’ve got two links this week where the one, the only Charles Montgomery Burns is held up as all that is soulless and wrong, one about finger tenting being a sign that you might be a villain and the other from the race for Illinois governor. Other than that, things got shortened this week because of the announcement of new Lego figures. Everyone with access to Twitter or the internet made mention of it, and there are some pretty neat ones (Maggie with Bobo, for example), but all that noise did obscure other stuff. We’ve also got a cool interview with Greg Daniels, some great fan art, a sweet Duff t-shirt, a couple of women dressed up like Marge, and Krusty-based insults all tucked away down in Canada. Enjoy. Simpsons Writers’ Favorite ‘Itchy & Scratchy’s – Smooth Charlie’s link of the week is Jean talking about old Itchy & Scratchy segments. There’s quite a bit of Zombie Simpsons, but you can skip those and read things like this: The short, however, is a self-contained spoof of Steamboat Willie, the black-and-white cartoon that birthed Mickey Mouse. “When the animators were working on it, they called it ‘Steamboat Lawsuit’ because of their fear of legal action by Disney,” Jean recalls. “It’s lifted almost exactly from Steamboat Willie, which itself is a parody of [Buster Keaton’s] Steamboat Bill Jr.” Worth a look. Lookin’ Good: Marge Simpson Hair And Makeup IRL – Someone took a model and made her up to look like Marge. It’s a little creepy. There’s also YouTube of wig construction and makeup application. Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 3/25/14 – This is fantastic: All three of them are just perfect. Patty & Selma look identical (wouldn’t surprise me if those two really are sisters) and grumpy while Marge is kinda trepidatious about whatever it is that’s eating her sisters. Bravo! (Apologies for stealing this image from whoever that copyright holder is at the bottom, but white on white was not a good font choice.) D’oh: Quinn’s ‘Simpsons’ ad blocked ‘on copyright grounds’ – One of the nice things about not living in Illinois is that you don’t have to care about who the governor of Illinois is, but the residents of the Land of Lincoln were treated to their sitting governor comparing his opponent to Mr. Burns last week, so they got that. Round 105: I Married Marge vs. New Kid on the Block – Whew, Season 3 vs. Season 4 is tough. Doh! Ex-Simpsons writer Greg Daniels reveals how he almost missed opportunity to adapt The Office for US – Daniels was in the UK and gave a rundown of his career at a comedy festival. Proud husbands will make peace on…
Reading Digest: Head Art Edition
“Marge, what does it do?” – Homer Simpson “It doesn’t do anything.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, really, what does it do?” – Homer Simpson “Whatever it does, it’s doing it now.” – Marge Simpson This week we’ve got two links to serious artists making Simpsons heads. One is Bart made from old toys and is appropriately creepy, and the other is a series of awesome Krusty drawings that I’m not even going to try to describe. In addition to that, we’ve got an excellent Ralph t-shirt, Olympic and international cricket usage, a completed Lisa cross stitch, a great first family portrait, several people who agree with us, Lego YouTube, and lots more. Enjoy. Animating the Show – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this detailed breakdown of animating for TV. I learned stuff today. UTBNYC Announces The Next Piece In Pez’s “Distroy” Series: “Skrutchy” – A few months ago we had a link to a project by an artist called Pez doing wonderfully elaborate renderings of characters like Homer and Mickey Mouse. Well, the Homer ones are done and they’ve moved on to create some awesomely creepy Krustys. Damn cool and well worth the click. Baby Names I Want to Use From The Simpsons – I’d vote for Hortence or Langdon. The Simpsons – The show that was a huge part of my growing up yet now I completely ignore, kind of like my family. – Good move: For me it all ended years ago, I live in a world where they took the Seinfeld route and quit while they were ahead. I look back with only the fondest memories to the earlier seasons. The newer seasons I refuse to acknowledge. My Top Twenty Favourite Sitcoms Of All Time – From the same blog as the above link, this is a great entry: 1. The Simpsons (Season 1-11) It makes the top of many people’s lists, but most don’t think to exclude Zombie Simpsons right in the title. Bravo. Are you alive? – After you click, scroll to the bottom to see the sweet, sweet photographic evidence: My dearest friend in the whole wide world had a birthday recently. And, as she invited all of us to celebrate, we all canceled… I told her I had a conference to go to. Then we surprised her with a party anyways! As known die-hard Simpsons fans, naturally the cake was dedicated to “A Whale of a Wife.” We added “and a Super Friend” because, well, we aren’t all married to her. 9 Simpsons Facts to Satisfy the Biggest Fans!! – YouTube – There’s nothing terribly new here, but it’s very lite on Zombie Simpsons and mildly amusing. (via @dailysimpsons) Happy 2nd Birthday Tapped Out. – A little reminiscing from the writers of tstogame.com. I particularly liked Micah’s: TSTO has been a pleasure. It’s been a pain. It’s been fun, but it’s also been a drain.Rapper Bart My index finger has become strapping from these past two years of tapping. Speed skating:…
Quote of the Day
“I could crush him like an ant, but it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll bide my time until . . . oh, what the hell, I’ll just crush him like an ant.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Homer, you don’t do things like that to be rewarded. You do them because a fellow human being needs a helping hand.” – Marge Simpson “Marge, you’re my wife and I love you very much, but you’re living in a world of make believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats.” – Homer Simpson “Yeah, Mom, we got hosed.” – Bart Simpson “Bart!” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday Brad Bird!
Quote of the Day
“His pink slip awaits your signature, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Now that’s odd, I’ve just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers, have him beaten to a pulp.” – C.M. Burns
Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?
“I’m not some dizzy starlet who can’t string two words together!” – C.M. Burns It is my great relief to announce a project that has been the better part of a year in the making: “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead”. It’s a mini-book (~22,000 words) that is as close as I can come to a definitive statement on how The Simpsons became Zombie Simpsons. Table of contents: Part I – Putting the Spring in Springfield 1 – What Is Zombie Simpsons? 2 – The Terrible World of 1980s Television 3 – The Most Anti-Authority Show Ever 4 – You’re Watching FOX, Shame on You Part II – Show Business Is a Hideous Bitch Goddess 5 – The Retirements 6 – The Deaths Part III – Stories of Degradation and Humiliation Season 7 – A Very Special Episode Season 8 – Frank Grimes and the Phony Kidnapping Season 9 – Armin Tamzarian and the Death of Story Season 10 – Jerkass Homer Gets a Job Season 11 – The Destruction of Springfield Season 12 and Beyond – Zombie Simpsons Appendices Appendix A – A Note on the Term Zombie Simpsons Appendix B – Episode Numbers vs. Production Numbers Appendix C – December 17th: Simpsons Day Appendix D – A Defense of Mike Scully Appendix E – Yeah, It Was That Good (1,000,000 A.D.) You can read the first two chapters right here, right now. And though the entire text will eventually be available for free on-line, before that happens we’re going to conduct an experiment in the strange new world of digital publishing. If you want to read the entire book today, you can purchase it from Amazon’s Kindle store for $2.99. (Why $2.99? Because that’s the minimum price Amazon demands for only taking 30% of the gross instead of 65%.) It will remain available in that format and at that price indefinitely; meanwhile, it will be published in chunks here at Dead Homer Society until every dot, tittle and citation is on-line for anyone to read whenever they like. The thinking behind this is that some people (especially the kind of people with the disposable income to own Kindles and iPads) are willing and able to pay for words if the price is reasonable and the payment is easy to make. At the same time, making it available only in a paid version is self defeating and stupid. Not only do fewer people read it, but using digital rights management and other convoluted anti-“piracy” measures to police the internet is a fool’s errand. Therefore, the only sensible thing to do is make it easy for people to purchase and easy to get for free, however odd that may seem at first glance. We’ll see how it goes. You can purchase the book from Amazon right now, or you can read the first two chapters by clicking the new “Zombie Simpsons” button in the navigation bar at the top of this page. This is the…
Quote of the Day
“Oh, no! Mr. Burns! We’ve got to get a doctor!” – Mr. Smithers “Absolutely not! No quack sawbones is going to apply his leeches to me!” – C.M. Burns
“Blood Feud” Spews Truth from Every Orifice
“Perhaps there is no moral to this story.” – Lisa Simpson “Exactly, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened.” – Homer Simpson About halfway through this commentary, Al Jean notes that the story of a mean letter to the boss had been previously done on The Honeymooners and was a kind of “sitcom staple”. He was saying it sort of defensively, like he’d heard it as a criticism that the episode hadn’t been that original. But parodying sitcom staples was a big part of what The Simpsons did, especially in Seasons 1 and 2. It wasn’t just plots either, it was stereotypical scenes and moralizing and parenting that had been done to death by other shows but that The Simpsons both took apart and made funny. (Of course, it doesn’t work when Zombie Simpsons rehashes stories that had already been done by The Simpsons.) Incidentally, though I’ve never seen an episode of The Honeymooners, you can see “Letter to the Boss” on YouTube (Part I, Part II, Part III). Alice, who’s working on Ralph’s underwear as the show begins, would later voice Beatrice Simmons in “Old Money”. Just three guys on this one, Groening, Jean and David Silverman. 0:30 – Interesting trivia: this is the first time Homer uses what the call the “fairy voice” and the first time Homer talks to his brain. 1:00 – Jean mentions that this particular episode was inspired by one of the producers on the show needing a blood transfusion, and they thought they could graft that onto Mr. Burns. 1:40 – The nuclear warning sign is back lit instead of animated like everything else, which explains that glow. 2:00 – Shearer had to cancel on the first reading at the last minute, Castellaneta stepped in and there weren’t any problems. That’s a nice little anecdote, but it does help demonstrate just how different the production process was back then. 2:40 – Praise for Shearer who can do multiple voices all in one take. So if there’s a scene with Burns and Smithers or Smithers and Hibbert, he can just read it all through in a single take. 3:40 – Laughing at the continuity head scratcher of Carl being Homer’s supervisor. Jean then expounds on how Homer’s job at the plant seems to mostly be him sleeping at his console. 4:30 – They do a lot of quick cuts to different Simpsons as the family quizzes Marge on their personal aspects, Silverman chirps up to say that quick cuts like that are fun to do because in this scene you never lose sight of who’s doing the talking. 5:00 – Jean talking about how at this point they had the design locked in pretty well. Most of the off model stuff had been knocked out. 5:20 – The scene where Homer tells Bart the awesomely dumb story of Hercules and the lion is lit very specifically to make it seem intimate as Homer tries to convince Bart that donating blood is the right…
Quote of the Day
“Chief Wiggum, Archbishop McGee, distinguished guests, I am pleased to dedicate this emergency warning system. In the off chance of a nuclear disaster, this sign will tell you, the good citizens of Springfield, what to do.” – Mayor Quimby “Joke’s on them. If the core explodes, there won’t be any power to light that sign!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Blood Feud”! Original airdate 11 July 1991.
Quote of the Day
“What’s the matter, Homer? You’re not your normal, effervescent self.” – Moe “I got my problems, Moe. Give me another one.” – Homer Simpson “Hey, Homer, hey, you should not drink to forget your problems.” – Moe “Yeah, you should only drink to enhance your social skills.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, look Maggie, what is that? Dodecahedron. Dodecahedron.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, I don’t know what you’re doing but it’s very strange and your father’s trying to worry.” – Homer Simpson