“The last bar in Springfield. If they don’t let me in here, I’m gonna have to quit drinking.” – Homer Simpson “Yay!” – Homer’s Liver “Shut up, liver! . . . Oww, my liver hurts.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Fear of Flying
Quote of the Day
“But I keep telling you, I’m not a pilot!” – Homer Simpson “And I keep telling you you fly boys crack me up!” – Crazy Clown Airlines Guy “Hi, I’m Alan, I’m your co-pilot.” – Alan “Uh, yeah, um, as a change of pace, I’m going to let you do most of the work. I think you’re ready for it, Alan. And, um, I’ll just get us started.” – Homer Simpson “Uh, we’ll need that to live.” – Alan
Quote of the Day
“Oh, my God! This man is my exact double! . . . That dog has a puffy tail! . . . Here puff! Here puff!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened, push it deep down inside her, so she’ll never annoy us again.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“If we don’t encourage her to vent her feelings they can come out in other ways.” – Lisa Simpson “I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. They’ve been living in sin.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Wait a minute, there’s something bothering me about this place. . . . I know! This lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies.” – Homer Simpson “What was her problem?” – Lesbian
Quote of the Day
“Heh, joke’s on them. I’m still alive.” – Homer Simpson
Facebook vs. Frinkiac
“Marge, it’s three am! Shouldn’t you be baking?” – Homer Simpson “In a little while.” – Marge Simpson I stayed up much, much too late last night making .gifs on Frinkiac, so I’m afraid that there won’t be a Reading Digest today. In compensation, I present to you this offering of cookies, milk, and Simpsons .gifs mocking this ridiculous statement from benevolent Facebook general Zuckerberg. All text is his verbatim. Since there are a lot of these, I’ve placed the rest after the jump:
Quote of the Day
“Wow, we must be really flying high! Those people down there look all tiny, blurry, just like the inside of a cataract.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“But, Marge, you deserve a vacation. It’s a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Cheer up, Homer.” – Bart Simpson “Can’t.” – Homer Simpson “Okay!” – Bart Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Marge in Therapy
“Eww, you like the Monkees? You know they don’t write their own songs.” – Girl on Bus “They do so!” – Marge Bouvier “They don’t even play their own instruments.” – Girl on Bus “No! No!” – Marge Bouvier “That’s not even Michael Nesmith‘s real hat.” – Girl on Bus “Ahhhhhhh!” – Marge Bouvier “Kids can be so cruel.” – Dr. Zweig “But it’s true, they didn’t write their own songs or play their own instruments.” – Marge Simpson “The Monkees weren’t about music, Marge, they were about rebellion! About political and social upheaval!” – Dr. Zweig When The Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“You’re right, I’ve been wasting my life away in that dump for years. That’s it! I’m going to find a new bar to drink in, and I’m going to get drunker than I’ve ever been in my entire life!” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Yellow Subterfuge
“I never thought I’d win this easy.” – Bart Simpson “This has nothing to do with you, Simpson. I have many, many issues with my beloved smother-, mother.” – Principal Skinner The B-plot in this episode was a forced rehash of “Homie the Clown”. The A-plot was, almost impressively, even dumber, with Skinner pulling a giant combat knife out of his mother’s back and not noticing that she wasn’t actually dead before trusting himself to Homer and Bart(!). Before we got to that, however, we had plenty of Bart acting wildly out of character, more exposition than you can throw…
Quote of the Day
“If word gets out about this, Crazy Clown Airlines will be a laughingstock. In exchange for your silence, I’m prepared to offer your family free tickets to anywhere in the United States, excluding Alaska and Hawaii, the freak states.” – Crazy Clown Airlines Executive “Woo-hoo! Good news, everybody, because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want.” – Homer Simpson “Alaska!” – Bart Simpson “Hawaii!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one horse town! I want to explore the world! I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I’m sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot long hero! I want to live, Marge! Won’t you let me live? Won’t you please?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Uh, sorry, you’ve got to be a pilot to drink in here.” – The Little Black Box Bartender “But I am a pilot.” – Homer Simpson “Where’s your uniform?” – The Little Black Box Bartender “Um, I stowed it safely in the overhead compartment.” – Homer Simpson “Well, you talk the talk. Here’s a loaner.” – The Little Black Box Bartender
Quote of the Day
“It’s okay, Marge, we don’t need to go on a trip. We’ll just wait for the killer bees to come to us.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, everybody’s got a fear of something.” – Marge Simpson “Not everybody.” – Homer Simpson “Sock puppets.” – Marge Simpson “Where? Where? Ah! Ahhh!” – Homer Simpson
Crazy Noises: The Man In the Blue Flannel Pants
“Sammy, you’re too old to go on a date with two twins on the same night you’re supposed marry Diane without Rebecca knowing.” – Carla “Okay, Carla, I’ll make you a bet. If this affects my Major League comeback I’ll sell the bar.” – Sam As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and…