Quote of the Day

“Kids, you haven’t touched your tongue sandwiches. You need something to drink?” – Patty Bouvier “We’ve got clamato, Mr. Pibb, and soy milk.” – Selma Bouvier “That’s alright. I think I’ll just hit the hay.” – Lisa Simpson “It’s twelve thirty in the afternoon.” – Selma Bouvier “I’m aware of the time.” – Lisa Simpson

Quote of the Day

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Mayor, this little bird’ll be cracking rocks by the end of the week.” – Chief Wiggum “Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!” – Mayor Quimby “But . . . she broke the law.” – Chief Wiggum “Thanks for the civics lesson.” – Mayor Quimby

Quote of the Day

“I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as ‘Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die’, and ‘Gladys The Groovy Mule’. But today you’ll see me in my greatest role: your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!” – Troy McClure

Quote of the Day

“Goodbye, Homey!” – Marge Simpson “Goodbye?  Where’s my clean underwear?” – Homer Simpson “Check the dryer!” – Marge Simpson “How often should I change Maggie?” – Homer Simpson “Whenever she needs it!” – Marge Simpson “Marge!  Marge!  How do I use the pressure cooker?” – Homer Simpson “Don’t!” – Marge Simpson

Quote of the Day

“I am not cleaning that . . . eh, who am I kidding?” – Marge Simpson Happy (one day belated) birthday, Tracey Ullman!   Bonus Ullman:

Quote of the Day

“So, what’s the verdict?” – La Pamperie Stylist “Oh, dear God!  I can’t even put a bag over my head.” – Woman “Yes, you can.” – La Pamperie Stylist

Quote of the Day

“This is Arnie Pie with Arnie in the Sky, we’ve got big problems on the Springfield Memorial Bridge, people, traffic going way back in both directions.  And look out at the corner of Fourteenth and Elm, cause I just dropped my bagel.” – Arnie Pie

Quote of the Day

“But remember, we can’t tell you how to have a good time, you have to tell us!” – Troy McClure “Oh.” – Marge Simpson “As I said to Dolores Montenegro in ‘Calling All Quakers!’, ‘have it your way, baby’.” – Troy McClure “Hello, room service?  This is Marge Simpson.  I’d like a hot fudge sundae, with whipped cream, and some chocolate chip cheesecake, and a bottle of tequila!” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday Julie Kavner!

Quote of the Day

“What do you want?” – Patty Bouvier “I came to see the kids.” – Homer Simpson “Wait here, and don’t steal any light bulbs.” – Patty Bouvier

Quote of the Day

“Our tour starts in your very own room, where Relaxo-vision offers you the latest Hollywood hits, and, after midnight, the finest R-rated movies Europe has to offer.  Oh la la.  Today’s selections are.” – Troy McClure “Thelma and Louise, The Happy Little Elves Meet Fuzzy Snuggleduck, and the Erotic Awakening of S.” – Generic Announcer Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer Alone”!  Original airdate 6 February 1992.

Quote of the Day

“Off the record, ma’am, all the gals on the force knew just how you felt.” – Female Cop “That’s nice, you think you could loosen my cuffs?” – Marge Simpson “No.” – Female Cop