“You mean I get five percent off on everything in the store just because I look like-…I mean, just because I am Krusty the Klown?” – Homer Simpson “How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year. Oh, by the way, here is your new issue of Gigantic Asses.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Tag: Homie the Clown
Quote of the Day
“That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I’m going to clown college!” – Homer Simpson “I don’t think any of us expected him to say that.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“This year, give her English Muffins . . . whatever you say, Mr. Billboard!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Put five thousand bucks on the Lakers. Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator. My house is dirty, buy me a clean one.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Pfft, clown college? You can’t eat that.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, it’s Krusty all right. Should I shoot him gangland style or execution style?” – Louie “Listen to your heart.” – Fat Tony
Quote of the Day
“There’s your giraffe, little girl.” – Homer Simpson “I’m a boy!” – Ralph Wiggum “That’s the spirit! Never give up.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Azaria Graduates Edition
“Now, come and get your catskins, uh, I mean sheepskins.” – Krusty the Klown Short reading digest again this week, but we’ve got a couple of great links, including a guy who truly hates Zombie Simpsons, and an amusing YouTube video from Azaria. Enjoy. Hank Azaria gives graduates advice as characters from ‘The Simpsons’ during commencement speech – Azaria is a crowd pleaser, “When in doubt, always pull out the Simpsons voices”: I don’t know if he wrote these or had one of the writers do it, but there are some pretty good ones in here. I particularly liked Apu: “Remember…
Quote of the Day
“Krusty, in regards to the large wager you made on yesterday’s horse race…” – Fat Tony “Aw, come on, how ’bout letting me go double or nothing on the big opera tonight?” – Krusty the Klown “Who do you like?” – Fat Tony “The tenor!” – Krusty the Klown “Okay. But we’re only letting the bet ride because you crack us so consistently up.” – Fat Tony
Quote of the Day
“Now, when the wealthy dowager comes in, the party’s over, right? Wrong!” – Krusty the Klown “Kill . . . wealthy . . . dowager.” – Homer Simpson
Behind Us Forever: The Yellow Badge of Cowardge
“Gratzi, gratzi, you have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio “No, no, Don Vittorio, you’re not-” – Legs “Yes, I am. I know it, I am.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio If nothing else, “The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” capped off Season 25 with the same brand of forgettable and lackluster nonsense that we’ve come to expect. (Points for consistency, if literally nothing else.) Jokes and childishly simple plot points are explained ad nauseam while the overall story staggers around in a world of dull nonsense. So, for example, near the middle of the episode Homer and…
Behind Us Forever: Brick Like Me
“George Carlin on three.” – Miss Pennycandy “Yeah? Lawsuit? Oh, come on! My seven words you can’t say on TV bit was entirely different from your seven words you can’t say on TV bit. So I’m a thief, am I? Well, excuse me! . . . Give him ten grand.” – Krusty the Klown “Steve Martin on four.” – Miss Pennycandy “Ten grand.” – Krusty the Klown Let’s get this out of the way first: this is the best they can do and they know it. If the PR machine is to be believed, this episode took two years to make…
Quote of the Day
“Those are supposed to be baggy pants! Baggy!” – Krusty the Klown “I’ve never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Krusty Franchises His Name
"Alright, so there can only be one Krusty in each territory, so I hope this works out. Tell me where you’re from." – Krusty the Klown "Georgia." – Southern Hick "Texas." – Exaggerated Texan #1 "Uh . . . Brooklyn." – Exaggerated Texan #2 "Russia." – Fur Hatted Russian "New Hampshire." – Stuffy Yankee "Homer!" – Homer Simpson Krusty the Klown is a great symbol of so much that is wrong with the entertainment industry. He long ago shed any last vestige of dignity, then stopped caring about the quality of his show or his merchandise shortly thereafter. He doesn’t…
Reading Digest: Expanding the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval Edition
“I’ll just make some more money. Crank out some cheesy merchandise.” – Krusty the Klown “But you’ve already merchandised everything: Krusty’s Monopoly game, the Krusty crown control barrier.” – Accountant If you’ve noticed an uptick in Simpsons merchandise, including Tapped Out, you’re not imagining things. This is from today’s fourth link: And 20th still feels there’s more coin to collect. This year, 20th has aggressively gone after a slew of new deals to make sure Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie remain popular with existing and new fans worldwide. Universal Studios Orlando added a Springfield-themed area this summer around its…
Quote of the Day
“I’m telling you Marge, this’ll work. They’ll think I’m Krusty and give us free stuff. I’ve been getting free stuff all day! Look at this swell bucket of house paint, look at it!” – Homer Simpson “I’m not saying it won’t work, I’m just saying it’s dishonest.” – Marge Simpson “Well if we agree, then why are we arguing?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ah, there’s nothing better than a cigarette . . . unless it’s a cigarette lit with a hundred dollar bill!” – Krusty the Klown [Note: Sorry for the late QotD.]
Quote of the Day
“These Krusty-brand balloons are three bucks each. But get a cheap one, and what happens? Goes off! Takes out the eyeballs of every kid in the room! What’s that gonna cost you? Hey, Bill, what did that cost us?” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Let me get this straight, you took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it against the Harlem Globetrotters?” – Accountant “Oh, I thought the Generals were due! He’s spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it! Take the ball! That game was fixed. They were using a freaking ladder for God’s sakes.” – Krusty the Klown
Compare & Contrast: Mob Boss Endings
“I am-a confused.” – Don Vittorio DiMaggio Given its manic-depressive pacing and weird four-segment structure, it’s not always easy to tell when Zombie Simpsons is moving from one act to another. It has a tendency to meander and stutter step its way through what can only generously be called a story, tossing off things that may or may not be jokes along the way. For example, take what was supposed to be the second act of “The Falcon and the D’Ohman”. When we come back from the first commercial break, Jack Bauer is having dinner with the Simpsons at their…