“But Mom, if you take our cartoons away we’ll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots!” – Lisa Simpson “Really? What kind of robots?” – Bart Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”! Original airdate 20 December 1990.
Tag: Itchy and Scratchy and Marge
Crazy Noises: Loan-a-Lisa
Original concept art for Itchy & Scratchy “Up” parody in “Loan-a-Lisa”. The Itchy & Scratchy bit at the beginning of “Loan-a-Lisa” was, to put it mildly, creatively bankrupt. It starts by spending forty-five seconds re-enacting “Up” with nary a joke in sight; that would be bad enough, but Zombie Simpsons then makes things even worse. Instead of ending with some kind of “Up” inspired violence (a balloon house falling on them, a giant blimp attack, a pack of remotely controlled dogs tearing them to pieces) it ends by repeating not one, not two, but three (3) scenes from previous Itchy & Scratchy episodes. In other words, they faithfully recreated “Up” until they could no longer directly copy the source material, then they copied something else. They couldn’t be bothered to come up with their own ideas, even derivative ones. I know I said this last week, but it really does seem like they think developing new ideas is beneath them. Mad Jon: You guys ready? Charlie Sweatpants: Sure am, let’s get this over with so I can never think about this episode again. Dave: Word. Mad Jon: This was pretty bad. How many inheritances does Grandpa have to give out? Charlie Sweatpants: As many as need be between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable. Dave: Two so far and it was only funny the first time. Mad Jon: It pains me that we are now to the point they don’t even try to avoid re-doing premises. Dave: No they sort of revel in it. Faded glory and all that. Charlie Sweatpants: Pretty much. That joke way back in Season 11 where Comic Book Guy comes on and says they did this already is looking better and better in hindsight. Now we don’t even get that. Dave: They must think we’re stupid Mad Jon: It’s probably more that they don’t care what we think or if we are stupid. Dave: Well, that too. Charlie Sweatpants: While we’re on the opening though, there are two excellent examples of painful joke stretching here. The small one is Bart mentioning how that won’t pay his vig, and then, because that line was so hard to come up with and didn’t last long enough, they cut to a shot of Jimbo in a conveniently placed window. The second and much larger one was the whole deck of cards thing. That Grampa’s hands shake so bad he can’t play cards is kinda funny, but then they ruin it by having Marge extend the gag for another ten seconds of tortuous screen time. Mad Jon: I actually was physically embarrassed when that kept going. That’s pretty rare for me with Zombie episodes, I usually just boil in anger. Dave: You have a range of emotions as a human being. Mad Jon: So I’ve been told. Charlie Sweatpants: My "sympathy embarrassment" feelings for this show are pretty well numbed at this point. Dave: Perhaps you will experience love next. But it sure as…
“The Simpsons Movie” Makes Baby Jesus Cry (Part 2)
“No, make it a pie. Pies are easier to draw.” – Itchy & Scratch Animator “Okay, a pie.” – Roger Meyers Jr. After spending roughly seven weeks in the optical drive of my laptop, The Simpsons Movie is finally in the custody of the United States Postal Service and on its way back to Netflix. (Which means “Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry” should start for Season 13 in the next few days.) The second commentary was done by some of the animators and directors of the film, and while there is some interesting information in here, mostly it’s a blur of two ideas. The first is, and coming from the other commentary this is no surprise, that there were many, many different versions of almost every scene. The constant reactions and overreactions to test screenings meant that lots of things that had already been animated were scrapped, and whole new sequences were jammed in, up to and including at the last minute. The second is the term “beautifully animated” and variations thereof. Whatever else may be said about its timidity, its over-reliance on physical comedy, and its complete lack of anything that could be called a coherent story, The Simpsons Movie has a distinct and colorful look to its animation that served it well. This is, in many places, a very pretty film, and the animators are justifiably happy with how their work turned out. The commenters here are David Silverman, Mike Anderson, Steve Moore, and Rich Moore. Since they don’t pause the movie, and since there’d be no point in my noting the many times they mention a specific animator and compliment their work, this one is a lot shorter than Part 1. So let’s get to it. 0:50 – Discussing Scratchy’s entrance, the animators were also looking for a big laugh when the audience recognized the character. 3:45 – Pointing out that all of the audience is made up of regular characters, no generic animations. 4:30 – More discussion about how many times all of these things got redone. 5:15 – Discussing another thing that got cut by test audiences: “It looked really good, and um, nobody laughed.” 7:00 – Discussing all the different people who did animation and layouts at two different studios. 12:00 – At this point I’m beginning to wonder if there’s use in doing this for the animation commentary. Basically they’re just mentioning who did a specific animation or background along with the occasional mention of whether or not something was redone after test audiences did or did not like it. 15:00 – Further underlining how much they got away from their usual editorial independence, someone asks how this was different than animating the show, and the answer is that they had to keep redoing things on account of rewrites. 18:30 – Here they’re discussing how they do transitions between all the completely unrelated scenes. 19:00 – Everybody loves Spider Pig. 19:45 – When they’re having Krusty, Cat Lady and Moe dump things in…
Quote of the Day
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user richardmasoner. “Well, Kent, to me the hijinks of a few comic characters absolutely pale in comparison with the crippling emotional problems a psychiatrist runs into every day. I’m referring here to women who love too much, fear of winning, sexaholism, stuff like that.” – Dr. Marvin Monroe
Quote of the Day
“I don’t believe this. ‘I will never watch your show, buy any of your products, or brake if I see you crossing the street.’ Wow that’s cold. ‘Dear sleaze merchant’, aw come on, that hurts. . . . Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken.” – Roger Meyers Jr. Happy Birthday to Alex Rocco! (Note: He’s a Feb 29th guy, so no actual birthday for him until 2012. But birthday wishes nonetheless.)
Friday Link Dump – Shutup and Start Masturbating Edition
“I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity.” – Maude Flanders Since we’re very lazy around here we have Google Alerts do most of our web research for us. Unfortunately when something like, oh, say, Marge being drawn into Playboy happens, it means that all of a sudden 95% of the on-line mentions of the Simpsons are about the exact same thing. What’s worse, and I’ll admit I didn’t notice until about the tenth time I saw it, is that everyone uses the word “posing”, as though a cartoon character can “pose” for anything. Anyway, out of the whirling internet maelstrom of “Marge in Playboy” stuff this week, I’ve found only two items that are actually worth posting. In addition to that we’ve got some excellent usage, a little bit more stuff about Ortved’s book, and the most bad ass video game room of all time just got a little more bad ass. Marge Simpson In Playboy Two Franchises On The Way Down – Pete Vonder Haar of the Houston Press finds this whole thing as stupid and ridiculous as I do, also he points out that the show sucks now with this delicious phrase: Meanwhile, ratings for The Simpsons continue to decline, and a few years back the show passed the point where the number of mediocre/bad seasons officially outnumbered good ones (a subjective call, but one I’m comfortable making). Very comfortable, pajamas with the feet comfortable. That was going to be the only Marge/Playboy link but then I found . . . AFA TO 7-Eleven: DON’T STOCK SIMPSON PORN – . . . this. In what may be the only good thing to come out of the whole Marge/Playboy stunt, unctuous conservative groups are mad. Granted, they’re always mad. But now it’s (kinda) because of the Simpsons and I enjoy that (via Twitter). Hugging Instructions? Yep. – Irrational panic of children has now reached the point where churches are distributing training documents on hugging. The ludicrousness of this reminded one commenter of Flanders. It’s perfectly quoted and plenty apt, excellent usage. New Neighbor Moving Into Springfield – Apparently you can go to the official website and submit a character design, name and catchphrase and the winner will be in an upcoming episode of Zombie Simpsons. That’s right, they’re outsourcing. That Timmy O’Toole Is a Real Hero! – Yeah this was caused because of that stupid balloon thing which I don’t care about, but it’s got a great YouTube video and eloquently praises “Radio Bart” and so I say bravo. The Wolfman Cometh – If you’re going to complain about something, complain in Simpsons. Excellent usage. Welcome to MattyBohlog! – Introducing a blog isn’t easy. Why not just pack it with Simpsons references? New Game Room Addition (Rad Arcade Content) – This guy has one of the most kick ass video game rooms I’ve ever seen and now he’s added an old Simpsons arcade machine! If I had a room like that I would have a toilet…
Crazy Noises: The Great Wife Hope
“Hello Marge, oh, what is S. N. U. H.?” – Helen Lovejoy “Snuh.” – Marge Simpsons “Oh.” – Helen Lovejoy “It stands for Springfieldians for Non-violence Understanding and Helping. I’ve started a crusade against cartoon violence.” – Marge Simpson In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “subconscious”). This is maybe the shortest “Crazy Noises” post we’ve ever done for the simple reason that this was one of the most content free episodes of Zombie Simpsons in a while. Also, see the picture above for a comedy opportunity The Simpsons used and Zombie Simpsons (as we discuss below) ignored. Charlie Sweatpants: So, did everyone actually watch this one? Mad Jon: I did Dave: I did too Well, watch is unfair. It was really just background noise Mad Jon: It really did just barely exist Charlie Sweatpants: You mean you didn’t give it your strictest attention so as not to miss the wall to wall humor? Dave: Precisely. Mad Jon: I can’t decide what pissed me off the most, but I am pretty sure it was the rhythmic gymnastics scene. Charlie Sweatpants: Oh man, that went on forever. Dave: One exchange stands out: “What’d I miss?” – Homer “Ehh, nothing.” – Bart Mad Jon: Specifically the noises Marge was making. Dave: That was pretty bad, yeah. Charlie Sweatpants: Last week’s was a hot mess, this was more of a cold mess. Yeah, it had a beginning middle and end (sort of), but nothing happened. Mad Jon: Well the ending pissed me off, that at least was something. Dave: Yeah, it’s amazing that they need 20 minutes to say nothing. And they had the extended couch gag to fill up time, too. Mad Jon: Wasn’t there a catch me if you can episode a few years ago? Dave: Yeah, there was. Can’t think of the name of it though. Mad Jon: Did they think it worked so well it could also be a couch gag? Or did they just forget? Charlie Sweatpants: Wait, are you talking about that movie with Hanks and DiCaprio? Mad Jon: yeah, they did a parody of that in an episode a few years ago. And now they did a couch gag parody of it. At least that’s what I thought I saw. Dave: I don’t know if it was a parody of that, but I see what you’re getting at. Mad Jon: Of course the knowledge that I was about to watch an episode of Zombie Simpsons may have caused enough subconscious shock that I imagined the whole thing… Dave: Either way, my point was that the gag, like much of the episode,…
“Day of the Jackanapes” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“So what’s your big idea, how do we end this?” – Roger Myers Jr. “Hmmm, let’s see . . . um . . . oh, couldn’t Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? Then they would both have pie.” – Marge Simpson “It’s different, I’ll give you that.” – Roger Myers Jr. This is the Sideshow Bob episode from Season 12 and by the rock bottom standards of Season 12 it’s not 100% terrible, more like 95% terrible. So while it has a couple of good lines (I like Bob asking to live in the storage unit) it’s still got a nonsensical plot that takes forever to get going; it stretches individual scenes past the breaking point in order to fill time, extensively uses the horns of suspense, and has no ending. Once again the commentators will laugh at a lot of these things. Only six guys this time, I think that’s a record. 1:25: Talking about the fact that they’ve done so many Sideshow Bob episodes over the years that it’s getting hard to come up with ideas. No shit. 2:15: Congratulating themselves because they recorded this right after the show got picked up for Seasons 21 & 22. Ugh. 3:45: Long silence broken by lone laugh at a poodle. 4:20: To general laughter: “I love how executives are always trying to explain to you why Seinfeld worked.” What a common frame of reference, I’m sure all of the audience will get it, like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz. 5:05: Exciting back and forth here about whether or not the pony-tailed executive was based off of anyone. “No, not really.” 5:20: Laughing about how they had to stretch out some of these scenes to the last second. Guys, much as I appreciate the candor, I figured that one out all by myself a long time ago. 5:40: This is actually about the fifth time there’s been a twenty second or so silence. They’re just long enough so that you know there isn’t much going on, but just short enough not to merit me typing “long silence”. 5:45: Weak, awkward, and forced laughter at Marge saying that shows should go off the air before they get stale and repetitive. Ever had a senile relative spill a family secret (e.g. cousin Eddy isn’t really Uncle Walt’s son, your aunt was having an affair with the UPS man)? The truth hurts and all you can do is pretend to laugh. 6:00: Another medium silence. Uncle Walt doesn’t look too happy. 6:05: Explaining the origin of “Krustylu”, followed by more silence, followed by more weak laughter. Mostly silence. 7:00: Mildly interesting note: the plot about Sideshow Bob’s shows being lost is loosely based on the fact that a lot of the old Johnny Carson Tonight Shows weren’t recorded for budget reasons. 8:00: Long, pointless story about the fact that they don’t remember how Sideshow Bob was originally designed. 8:40: Laughing that they’re in a Gil…
Sunday Preview: Auto-fellatio and Curling Edition
“How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?” – Marge Simpson “It’s a new episode.” – Bart Simpson “Not exactly… they pieced it together from old shows, but it seems new to the trusting eyes of impressionable youth.” – Lisa Simpson Guess what? We’re only 54 days away from the premier of Season 21 and there’s already news of an episode of Zombie Simpsons that will coincide with next year’s Winter Olympics. For the uninitiated, the 2010 games will be taking place somewhere in Canada, also known as America Junior (or America’s hat, if you prefer.) And the subject for this episode? Why it’s curling, of course! Let’s trudge through the pertinent “plot” points as reported by the CBC: Marge and Homer are on a mixed-doubles curling team with Skinner and Anges (prepare yourself for more awful Oedipal weirdness) Homer sucks at curling; Marge debates whether or not to dump him to win a medal, or keep him and lose In a fit of genius, the writers have opted to showcase Lisa in a B-plot collecting Olympic pins (“Heh, heh, I’m so clever.”) Beyond the obvious banality of the story, it’s also worth noting that Zombie Simpsons basically did this episode in Season 12. Just replace “curling” with “tennis” and “Skinner and Agnes” with “Serena and Venus Williams, Pete Sampras, and Andre Agassi” and you’ve got the forgettable “Tennis the Menace.” Sure, the parings are slightly different, but we’re splitting hairs here. Expect a contrived, flimsy setup that will lead Marge and Homer to the Olympics or some similar competition and a schmaltzy, feel good ending where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. Naturally, Canucks will enjoy the show and apologist fanboys will swoon, leaving everyone else with a shred of intellect to see this episode for what it is: pandering at its finest and yet another example of how far the apple has fallen from the tree. Not only is Zombie Simpsons routinely – and poorly – rehashing content from The Simpsons, it’s now sucking itself off and dumping a steaming hot load on its own face. Tremendous. (Note: there was a NSFW picture associated with this post, but we’ve decided to let you use your imagination instead. Need help getting started? Here’s a list of sexy search terms that have led people to our charming blog.)
Quote of the Day
“But that’s Michelangelo’s David; it’s a masterpiece.” – Marge Simpson “It’s filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil.” – Helen Lovejoy