“I thought you were just a marketing gimmick.” – Lisa Simpson “There was a time when that was true. But now, I am so much more!” – Senor Ding-Dong Happy Birthday John Swartzwelder!
Tag: John Swartzwelder
Quote of the Day
“Yeah, General Sherman, they say he’s five hundred pounds of bottom dwelling fury, dontcha know? No one knows how old he is. But, if you ask me, and most people do, he’s a hundred years if he’s a day.” – Bait Shop Owner “And no one’s ever caught him?” – Tourist “Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. And his eyes were like steel: cold and hard. Had a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.” – Bait Shop Owner Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“Way to go, Homer!” – Carl “You’re number one, Homer!” – Lenny “But this was a contest for children!” – Frank Grimes “Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out.” – Lenny Happy birthday, John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“Now, no tour would be complete without a visit to Edison’s boyhood gift shop.” – Tour Guide Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“Mmm, donuts.” – Homer Simpson “Hey, Homer, slow down! You’re gonna choke or something.” – Lenny “Don’t tell me how to eat donuts!” – Homer Simpson “Hey, Homer’s choking again.” – Carl “Hmm, isn’t there a first aid chart around here somewhere?” – Lenny “Somebody scare him.” – Carl “That’s for the hiccups.” – Charlie Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“Ah the morning horoscope, ‘Today will be a day like every other day’. Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“You’re a member of the Stonecutters, Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, sure, let’s see, I’m an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, I’m the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason. Ah, here it is, the Stonecutters.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“Why don’t you go see Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson “What can he do?” – Bart Simpson “He’ll give you good advice, he’s the toughest Simpson alive.” – Lisa Simpson “He is?” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Quote of the Day
“According to this book the first thing we need is a setting.” – Lisa Simpson Happy Birthday, John Swartzwelder!