“When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. We got the water balloons?” – Herman “Two hundred rounds, sir! Is it okay if they say Happy Birthday on the side?” – Bart Simpson “I’d rather they say Death from Above, but I guess we’re stuck.” – Herman Happy 30th anniversary to “Bart the General”!
Tag: Bart the General
Quote of the Day
“Nelson, you’re bleeding.” – Nelson Crony “Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else’s blood splatters on me. Hey, wait a minute. You’re right. You made me bleed my own blood.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it! The Carthaginians knew it! Now you know it.” – Herman
Quote of the Day
“Goodbye, little dude. He looks so lifelike, man.” – Otto “Yes, the school nurse did a wonderful job reconstructing his little face after the fight.” – Principal Skinner Happy birthday, David Silverman!
Behind Us Forever: The Winter of His Content
“Well, let me tell you something, boy, if you don’t stand up for yourself, bullies are gonna be picking on you for the rest of your life.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Simpson! Give me your newspaper!” – Jasper “Why should I?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I wanna do the crossword puzzle.” – Jasper “No, I want to do the crossword puzzle.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “I said, give me that puzzle!” – Jasper “No.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Gimme!” – Jasper “No.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Gimme!” – Jasper “No . . . Well, I guess I can’t help you.…
Quote of the Day
“So, Herman, has the large type edition of this month’s Solder of Fortune come in yet?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Not yet, but can I interest you in some authentic Nazi underpants?” – Herman
Quote of the Day
“You mean I should fight dirty, Dad?” – Bart Simpson “Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own.” – Homer Simpson “Amen.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Why don’t you go see Grampa?” – Lisa Simpson “What can he do?” – Bart Simpson “He’ll give you good advice, he’s the toughest Simpson alive.” – Lisa Simpson “He is?” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday John Swartzwelder!
Bonus Quote of the Day
“What on Earth are you talking about, Homer?” – Marge Simpson “The Code of the Schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see . . . don’t tattle . . . always make fun of those different from you . . . never say anything unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.” – Homer Simpson Happy (belated) 20th Anniversary to Simpsons classic “Bart the General”! (Original airdate: 4 February 1990)
Synergy Enjoys the Banality
“Dear advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson When last we left IGN’s Zombie Simpsons reviews they were swooning and drawing little hearts on their notebooks because the writers dragged the Plow King out of retirement for a joke free cameo. This week there’s some danger they’re just going to straight up overdose on nostalgia. Yes, Grampa Simpson has told some enjoyably…
Quote of the Day
Image used under CreativeCommons license from Flicker user Bernt Rostad. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you’ve just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars. With the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II and the “Star Wars” trilogy.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Goodbye, son. I guess you were right, all that homework was a waste of your time.” – Principal Skinner