“Read your town charter, boy. If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don’t see him around, start shoveling!” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Lisa’s Rival
QotD and Book Preview Explainer
“Sure, I may have offended a few of the blue nosers with my cocky stride and musky odors.” – Homer Simpson The site is starting to look like itself again, baby steps, but progress. The first of ten preview posts for We Kicked Their Ass is now up. This one contains the preface, the author’s note, and the first section of chapter one. A new post/section will be added every Wednesday and Saturday until Fourth of July. There is an email address box for those who might later like to order it (but no pre-orders yet). Work on this book…
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Hurry up and finish eating.” – Bart Simpson “You’re steering fine, boy. . . . Hard to the right! Hard to the left! Cat! Deer! Old man!” – Homer Simpson “Ahhhh!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, stop the racket. I’m trying to fix your mother’s camera. Easy . . . easy . . . hmm, I’m gonna need a bigger drill.” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Honey, if you get too competitive, you’ll never be happy. No matter how good you are, there’s always gonna be someone better than you. I always thought I had the tallest hair, but that trip to Graceland really opened my eyes.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ralph, this better not be about your cat.” – Ms. Hoover
Saturday Morning Cartoons
“Young lady, cow hearts belong in a butcher’s window, not the classroom. Well, maybe in an older student’s biology classroom. But that’s none of my business. Elementary school is where I wound up and it’s too late to do anything about that!” – Principal Skinner The above is yet another example of how The Simpsons was able to cram jokes into every conceivable place in its episodes. It comes right as Lisa has set up Allison for failure at Diorama-Rama. For the middle of it, the sound even fades out on Skinner as the camera pushes in on Lisa, revealing her…
Quote of the Day
“I did tip off the Feds as to the whereabouts of our good friend, Milhouse.” – Bart Simpson “I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything.” – Milhouse van Houten “I don’t care.” – Not Tommy Lee Jones (Sorry for the very late quote.)
Quote of the Day
“But she’s better than me at everything that makes me special.” – Lisa Simpson “Believe me honey, she’s more scared of you than you are of her.” – Marge Simpson “You’re thinking of bears, Mom.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Don’t worry, buddy: here’s a quarter. Call for help at the nearest phone. I’ll keep an eye on things here.” – Homer Simpson “If only the sugar were as sweet as you, sir.” – Hans Moleman
Quote of the Day
“It’s your turn, Jimbo. . . . Someone’s been practicing over the summer, welcome aboard!” – Mr. Largo Happy birthday Alf Clausen!
Quote of the Day
“And you didn’t think I’d make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus!” – Homer Simpson “While you were out earning that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don’t come in tomorrow, don’t bother coming in Monday.” – Marge Simpson “Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Now, here’s what we do. Tomorrow morning, when Allison comes out of her house, we spray her with the hose, soaking her from head to toe! Leaving us relatively dry.” – Bart Simpson “Relatively?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, there’s bound to be some splashback.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I bent my Wookie.” – Ralph Wiggum Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa’s Rival”! Original airdate 11 September 1994.
Quote of the Day
“I’ve got to stop being so petty. I should be Alison’s friend, not her competitor. I mean, she is a wonderful person.” – Lisa Simpson “Way to go, Lis. Why compete with someone who’s just gonna to kick your butt anyway?” – Bart Simpson “I prefer my phrasing.” – Lisa Simpson Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
Quote of the Day
“Let’s see, our foreign exchange student Uter has chosen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. . . . But this is just an empty box.” – Principal Skinner “I begged you to look at mine first. I begged you.” – Uter
Quote of the Day
“Sure is quiet in here today.” – Bee Robin “Yes, a little too quiet, if you know what I mean.” – Bee Batman “I’m afraid I don’t.” – Bee Robin “You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests no bees.” – Bee Batman “Oh, I understand now. Oh, look, there goes one.” – Bee Robin “Too the Bee Mobile!” – Bee Batman “You mean your Chevy?” – Bee Robin “Yes.” – Bee Batman
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, what’s the answer to number seven?” – Ralph Wiggum “Sorry, Ralph, that would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.” – Lisa Simpson “My cat’s name is Mittens.” – Ralph Wiggum
Reading Digest: Favorites Edition
“There’s another girl at school who’s smarter, younger and a better sax player than me. Ugh, I feel so average.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, you’ll always be number one to me.” – Marge Simpson “Hello? First born within earshot.” – Bart Simpson “I meant my number one girl. . . . Oh, for crying out . . .” – Marge Simpson This week we’ve got four links (to three sites) naming or trying to name the #1 Simpsons episode of all time. I always like reading people’s thoughts on the show, but I remain convinced that this is an impossible…
Quote of the day
“I don’t need a card, you live in the room next to me.” – Lisa Simpson “Note: next year, order fewer cards.” – Bart Simpson
