“My, these seas are certainly heaving.” – Marge Simpson “Well, no more than your bountiful bosom, m’lady.” – Not Fabio “Does that earring mean you’re a pirate?” – Marge Simpson “Kinda.” – Not Fabio
Tag: Lisa’s Rival
Quote of the Day
“Well, as a matter of fact, my refrigerator wasn’t running. You spared me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you, anonymous young man.” – Principal Skinner “D’oh!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, will you keep it down? I’m making a crank phone call to Principal Skinner.” – Bart Simpson “Well, as a matter of fact, my refrigerator wasn’t running. You spared me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you anonymous young man.” – Principal Skinner “D’oh!” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“That sounds like Gabriel’s trumpet. You know what that means, kids.” – Ned Flanders “Yay! Judgment Day!” – Rod & Todd Flanders
Compare & Contrast: Lisa’s Rivals
“What do you guys, like, do for fun?” – Alex Whitney “Well, you’ll definitely want to get yourself a good doll. The new Malibu Stacy has an achievable chest.” – Lisa Simpson Back in December, I pointed out that in the Katy Perry Incident, surely one of the low points of the entire decade plus debacle that is Zombie Simpsons, Perry herself was given nothing to do. She showed up, looked nice, and talked about her boyfriend. In total, she was given twenty-seven words of dialogue. A few episodes later, the same benign neglect fell upon Alyson Hannigan, who showed…
Quote of the Day
“Dad, isn’t this stealing?” – Bart Simpson “Read your town charter, boy. If foodstuffs should touch the ground, said foodstuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don’t see him around, start shoveling!” – Homer Simpson
“Sweets and Sour Marge” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“But the grocery store sells sugar for thirty-five cents a pound.” – Marge Simpson “And it doesn’t have nails and broken glass in it.” – Lisa Simpson “Those are prizes!” – Homer Simpson This episode is terrible, no two ways about it. It begins with Homer attempting to win a world record (including a bit where all the townspeople roll through town in a giant ball), has a middle with Marge as a moral crusader against sugar, and ends with Homer as a smuggler. It makes no sense, and what few jokes exist are basically stapled to the story as…
“The Lastest Gun in the West” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Bart, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!” – Principal Skinner This is only the third of the Season 13 commentaries I’ve gotten through, but it’s not at all hard to detect some similarities. Whether they’re talking about Branson, Brazil or, in this case, westerns, they can’t stop commenting on the source material as a means of ignoring what’s going on in the episode. This actually happens in Branson! I read this in an article about Brazil! Remember when westerns were popular? It goes on like that while strange and joke free crap parades across the screen. I…
Quote of the Day
“Are you hyperventilating?” – Allison Taylor “No, I just like to smell my lunch.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“What’s a ‘diorama’?” – Ralph Wiggum
Morgan Spurlock Doesn’t Like Zombie Simpsons
“Look Bart, it almost killed me but I handcrafted all seventy-five characters from ‘Oliver Twist’. And now, the coup-de-grace, a bitter snowstorm.” – Lisa Simpson They say it is best to judge a man not by his words but by his actions. By that criteria I would like to thank Morgan Spurlock for publicly disparaging Zombie Simpsons – on FOX itself. To the untrained eye it looked like he was just eating an orange, but to the eye that has brains he was making a guerilla point about Zombie Simpsons. It took a disturbing amount of my (admittedly not very…
Synergy Resorts to Rote Retellings
Image grabbed from here. “Oh . . . a little sterile, no real insight. What do you think Miss Hoover?” – Principal Skinner “Enh.” – Miss Hoover IGN really phoned it in this week. There are six paragraphs in their review of that reprehensibly dull Halloween episode. There’s an opening full of generic praise, there’s a closing full of generic praise. The four middle paragraphs are dedicated, in order, to simply retelling the story of each of the four segments from the episode, including that tepid little opening. In addition to that, each contains the full title of the segment…
Quote of the Day
“Is it okay?” – Lisa Simpson “Well, the important thing is that we survived.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“All right, Lisa, um… Jermey Irons.” – Professor Taylor (pause) “Jeremy’s… iron.” – Lisa Simpson “Mmmhmm. Well, that’s… very good… for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you’d like to bounce it.” – Professor Taylor
Lisa Wastes Her Time And Mine
I have a few questions that remain unanswered about that episode… 1. Other than needing a plot idea, was there any reason to “parody” Bridge to Terabithia? (Incidentally, the guy who directed Terabithia, Gabor Csupo, worked on The Simpsons back in the before time.) 2. Which producer’s kid is Josh Groban holding hostage? That was almost a commercial. 3. If you are going to have an episode filled with iPod and Facebook references, why would Groundskeeper Willie flashback to his immigration in the first half of the 20th century? 4. By my clock that episode was just over 19…