“When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets. Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel balancing centers. Where else but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity? That’s why, whenever I see the Stars & Stripes, I’ll always be reminded of that wonderful word: flag.” – Truong van Dinh
Tag: Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Marge, cartoons don’t have any deep meaning. They’re just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homey, put down your magazine for a minute.” – Marge Simpson “Huh?” – Homer Simpson “I thought you might want to snuggle.” – Marge Simpson “That reminds me . . . Seven Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage . . . Marge, you have a nice body. And if you’d like to see me in a costume, you have only to ask.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Congressman, this is Springfield National Forest. Now, basically what we want to do is cut her down!” – Jerry the Lobbyist “Huh.” – Congressman Bob Arnold “As you can see in our artist’s rendition, it’s full of old growth, just aging and festering away. . . . In comes our logging company to thin out the clutter. It’s all part of nature’s, you know, cycle.” – Jerry the Lobbyist
Quote of the Day
“What would Ben Franklin say if he were alive today? He’d say . . . Ugh, think of a better opening.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Marge, grow up.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Wow, a shoe horn! Just like in the movies . . . shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Shoe goes on, shoe goes off.” – Homer Simpson
Speak No Zombie Simpsons, Hear No Zombie Simpsons
“I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars something queers the deal.” – Homer Simpson Since the marathon started last week, there’s been far more Simpsons commentary on the internet than I could possibly hope to keep up with: podcasts, blog posts, articles, the never ending firehose of Twitter, you name it. For the most part this has been very enjoyable. Usually, the only time people start talking about the show is when they do another publicity stunt. Some are linked to their most recent guest appearance or meaningless 50th/100th episode…
Quote of the Day
“And this control stick is like the handle bars on your tricycle. Now, would you like to see where we hang our coats?” – Pilot “No, thank you. I’d rather push this button.” – Bart Simpson “No!” – Pilot “Ahhh! We’re all gonna die!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“On this spot Richard Nixon bowled back to back 300 games.” – Bart Simpson “Yeah, right.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Who is that bookworm, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Homer Simpson, sir.” – Mr. Smithers “Simpson, eh? How very strange, his job description clearly specifies an illiterate.” – C.M. Burns Happy 20th anniversary to “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington”! Original airdate: 26 September 1991.
Reading Digest: Fictional Fiction Edition
“We now return to Troy McClure and Dolores Montenegro in ‘Preacher with a Shovel’.” – TV Announcer “But irrigation can save your people, Chief Smiling Bear!” – White Man This week we’ve got a couple of links elaborating on the many fake books, movies and products that cropped up on The Simpsons. Before we get to those, however, that stupid quote from a News Corp executive about a “Simpsons channel” I mentioned last week spun itself to new levels of internet fame this week and needs to be knocked down. If you don’t care, skip to the second set of…
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, I’m Faith Crowley, patriotism editor of Reading Digest.” – Faith Crowley “Ohh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is How to Increase Your Word Power. That thing is really, really, really . . . good.” – Homer Simpson “Well, good.” – Faith Crowley
Quote of the Day
“I don’t think real checks have exclamation points.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
Image on left used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user pablo.sanchez. “Mr. Jefferson, my name is Lisa Simpson, and I have a problem.” – Lisa Simpson “I know your problem, the Lincoln Memorial was too crowded.” – Thomas Jefferson “Sorry sir, it’s just-” – Lisa Simpson “No one ever comes to see me. I don’t blame them, I never did anything important, just the Declaration of Independence, the Louisiana Purchase, the dumbwaiter-” – Thomas Jefferson “Uh, maybe I should be going. I caught you at a bad time.” – Lisa Simpson “Wait! Please don’t go, I get so lonely.”…
Quote of the Day
“Lisa, after meeting your father, I’ve decided to award you an additional five points. Congratulations, you and your family are going to Washington!” – Essay Contest Judge “Woo-hoo! Who would’ve guessed reading and writing would pay off?” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest – Title Change Edition
“Hey Einstein, put down your reading, it’s lunch time!” – Lenny Much like Sideshow Bob didn’t like that “bowel” thing, I’ve grown tired of this “dump” thing. In line with our general policy to name everything after something from The Simpsons the Friday Link Dump will be henceforth be known as Reading Digest, where we take all the Simpsons content on the internet, filter out the crap, and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket. Today we’ve got math, some decent usage, a t-shirt I would totally buy if it existed, a non-stupid tidbit on Marge…
Then and Now
“Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool!” – Bart Simpson Yesterday, all-star commenter D.N. said: I mean, in the show’s golden age, Homer’s wackiness was channelled through displays of infantile happiness – giddily chasing the dog with the puffy tail, joyously fetching his giant foam cowboy hat and airhorn, caressing his half-eaten, mould-ridden giant hoagie even after it made him deathly ill, etc. There was a definite sense of sweetness about Homer back then – you really did gain affection for him in spite of his offensive characteristics. Alas, for about a decade now, Homer’s default “wacky” setting has been rage –…
Quote of the Day
“Look Marge, that guy has the same last name we do.” – Homer Simpson