Tag: Selma’s Choice

“I guess I’ll never have a baby.” – Selma Bouvier “Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?” – Lisa Simpson “Boy, I don’t know. You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot. . . . I knew that.” – Homer Simpson

“Why do you want to have a baby so bad?” – Patty Bouvier “I got a lot of love to give. And, right now, my only outlet is my ham radio.” – Selma Bouvier

“We really appreciate you taking the children on such short notice.” – Marge Simpson “We’ll have fun, won’t we, kids?” – Selma Bouvier “To get to Duff Gardens I’d ride with Satan himself.” – Bart Simpson “That’s the spirit!” – Selma Bouvier

“There it is!” – Lisa Simpson “The Duff Beeramyid.” – Bart Simpson “The Beeramyid contains so much aluminum it would take five men to lift it. Twenty-two immigrant laborers died during its construction.” – Lisa Simpson “Enh, plenty more where that came from.” – Selma Bouvier

“Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren’t a big problem anymore.” – TV Announcer

“Now, what do we say when we get to the ticket booth?” – Homer Simpson “We’re under six.” – Bart & Lisa Simpson “And I’m a college student!” – Homer Simpson

“Homer, I found this behind the radiator. I really think you should throw it away.” – Marge Simpson “Suggestion noted.” – Homer Simpson

“Miss Bouvier, while we were rescuing this boy, hoodlums made off with three bumper cars!” – Duff Gardens Security Guard

“Aunt Gladys was right, there’s something missing in our lives.” – Selma Bouvier “Don’t worry, we’ll get that barking dog record tomorrow.” – Patty Bouvier

“Get out of my car!” – Selma Bouvier “This isn’t my house.” – Hans Moleman

“Five . . . six . . . seven . . . eight.” – Bart & Lisa Simpson “What are you kids playing?” – Marge Simpson “Counting game.” – Bart Simpson “That’s nice.” – Marge Simpson “Nine.” – Bart & Lisa Simpson

“Patty, Selma, I’m sorry.” – Homer Simpson “He’s hugging us, what do we do?” – Selma Bouvier “Just close your eyes, and think of MacGyver.” – Patty Bouvier

“You’ve been eating that thing for a week.  I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn.” – Marge Simpson “Two more feet and I can fit it in the fridge!” – Homer Simpson

“The funeral is in Little Neck Falls, looks like we’ll have to go to Duff Gardens another time.” – Marge Simpson “We understand.” – Lisa Simpson “No use complaining about something you can’t change.” – Bart Simpson “But I want to go to Duff Gardens, right now!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, Homer, quit pouting.” – Marge Simpson “I’m not pouting, I’m mourning. . . . stupid dead woman.” – Homer Simpson

“Combed, biscuits, chicken, yellow, mailman.” – Hans Moleman “You’re reading the wine list, sir.” – Waitress “Very good.” – Hans Moleman

“We found this one swimming naked in the Fermentarium.” – Duff Gardens Security Guy “I am the lizard queen!” – Lisa Simpson “Give her this, and this, and then these.” – Duff Gardens Guy “Oh, thank you, doctor.” – Selma Bouvier “Oh, I’m not a doctor.” – Duff Gardens Guy

“To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet iguana, Jub-Jub.” – Gladys Bouvier “Why didn’t she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her?” – Jacqueline Bouvier