“So, do you think the Redskins’ll beat the spread?” – Homer Simpson “Put me down.” – Lisa Simpson Tomorrow is the high holy day of the NFL. There have been three episodes that prominently featured the Super Bowl. One of them is amongst the finest 22 minutes ever committed to television. The other two are the opposite of that. For your own safety, please restrict your Super Bowl weekend viewing to: “Lisa the Greek” (Season 3 Disc 3) Do NOT, under any circumstances, view: “Sunday, Cruddy Sunday” (Season 10 Disc 2) “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass” (Your Nearest…
Month: January 2009
Quote of the Day
“Would it really be worth living in a world without television? I think the survivors would envy the dead.” – Krusty the Klown
Unsubstantiated Internet Rumors? Well, This IS a Blog
“Say it ain’t so Krusty.” – Bart Simpson Is this going to be the kind of blog that overreacts to internet rumors of uncertain sourcing? If it’s Friday and we’re looking for a cheap post, you’d better believe it is. Look what the internet brought this morning: Anne Hathaway to Voice Krusty’s Girlfriend in ‘The Simpsons’ Another celebrity voice (quite possibly playing herself), whatever; I’m numb to them at this point. Wait . . . what? Oh, fuck: Contact Music reported that her role will be the girlfriend who testifies in court in defense of Krusty the Clown who is…
Quote of the Day
“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson
I’d Rather Watch the Dryer Channel
“I lost to Channel Ocho? What the hell is that?” – Krusty the Klown Good news everybody, that abortion last Sunday was the least watched Zombie Simpsons ever: An extended mid-season break has bitten The Simpsons dearly in the ratings, with Sundays episode ‘Lisa The Drama Queen’ fetching just 5.75 million viewers at 8:00pm, a new all time low for the show. Huzzah. But wait, there’s more! How about some insult to go with that injury? a new American Dad scored 5.73 million viewers at 9.30. American Dad? A first run Simpsons episode is just as interesting to people as Family…
Quote of the Day
“At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women, leading to anarchy of Biblical proportions. . . . It’s in Revelations, people!” – Kent Brockman
End the Simpsons #2 – Think of the Children!
“Hey, when I was your age fifty cents was a lot of money.” – Homer Simpson “Really?” – Bart Simpson “Nah.” – Homer Simpson One of the many horrible side effects of the fact that there hasn’t been a genuine Simpsons episode in more than a decade is that we are now raising a generation of Simpsons cripples. Anyone born after the late 1980s didn’t become old enough to really appreciate the show until well after it’d fallen on hard times. These days even the syndication runs are so polluted with Zombie Simpsons and its semi-lifeless forbearers that a decent…
Quote of the Day
“If only we’d listened to that boy . . . instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.” – C.M. Burns
End The Simpsons #1 – The Less Than Seamless Opening
“Wow, it must be expensive to produce all these cartoons.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, we cut corners; sometimes to save money our animators will reuse the same backgrounds over and over and over again.” – Roger Myers Jr. There are often jarring incongruities in Zombie Simpsons. Stories twist and turn, characters jump in and out of scenes, exposition and repetition destroy anything that could be called flow. You never know what you’re going to get, you just know that it’s probably going to be shitty. However, there is one jarring incongruity that is as reliable and neverending as the renewal…
Quote of the Day
“Bart! Are those liquor bottles?” – Mrs. Krabappel “I brought enough for everybody.” – Bart Simpson “Take those to the teacher’s lounge; you can have what’s left at the end of the day.” – Mrs. Krabappel
Lisa Wastes Her Time And Mine
I have a few questions that remain unanswered about that episode… 1. Other than needing a plot idea, was there any reason to “parody” Bridge to Terabithia? (Incidentally, the guy who directed Terabithia, Gabor Csupo, worked on The Simpsons back in the before time.) 2. Which producer’s kid is Josh Groban holding hostage? That was almost a commercial. 3. If you are going to have an episode filled with iPod and Facebook references, why would Groundskeeper Willie flashback to his immigration in the first half of the 20th century? 4. By my clock that episode was just over 19…
Quote of the Day
“Who knows what adventures they’ll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable.” – Troy McClure