“It’s time to take out the trash.” – Bette Midler “I’ll get you for this, Midler!” – Doomed Litterer
Tag: Krusty Gets Kancelled
Quote of the Day
“Look, there must be something I can do on the show. Please, for Mom’s sake?” – Sideshow Luke Perry “Well, maybe we can find something.” – Krusty the Klown RIP Luke Perry
Quote of the Day
“Here’s your taco, sir.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen “I don’t want it.” – Krusty the Klown “But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she’d kill me!” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
Quote of the Day
“A lot of people know about the grotto and the game room.” – Hugh Hefner “Of course.” – Bart Simpson “But few know about the laboratory, the biosphere, the alternative energy research center.” – Hugh Hefner “Fascinating.” – Bart Simpson So long, Hugh Hefner.
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, you stupid horse! I got my last ten bucks on you! . . . No, don’t look at me! . . . Run! . . . No, don’t come over here. . . . Ugh.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Dancing around in their underwear, that is so degrading.” – Krusty the Klown “Thirty seconds till your Lil’ Stinker sketch.” – Stage Manager “Gimme a bigger Lolly!” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Hey, boyo, what’s so funny?” – Cameraman “Well, it’s . . . nah, you wouldn’t be interested. It’s too lowbrow.” – Bart Simpson “No, I’m quite lowbrow.” – Cameraman “Well, somebody just wrote a bawdy limerick on the men’s room wall.” – Bart Simpson “This I gotta see!” – Cameraman
Quote of the Day
“Krusty, are you making any money?” – Bart Simpson “Nah. That guy’s giving it away for free.” – Krusty the Klown “Old gray mare she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be!” – Crazy Old Man Singer
Quote of the Day
“I’m a star again. I don’t know how to thank you kids.” – Krusty the Klown “That’s alright, Krusty.” – Bart Simpson “We’re getting fifty percent of the t-shirt sales.” – Lisa Simpson “What? That’s the sweetest plum!” – Krusty the Klown Happy (one day belated) birthday, Matt Groening!
Reading Digest: RIP, Real Life Bumblebee Man
“Dos huevos, por favor. Oh, que lastima.” – Bumblebee Man “I gotta steal that bit.” – Krusty the Klown Late last week, it was announced that Chesperito, a/k/a Roberto Gómez Bolaños, a/k/a the inspiration for Bumblebee Man had died at the age of 85. Reader Alex from Chile, writes in: He and his characters were loved in all Latin America and it’s easy to compare his shows rise and fall with the Simpsons, being the 70s the golden years of “El Chavo del Ocho” and “El Chapulin Colorado” and then from the 80s until now having nothing but the zombification of all his programs. Luckily in Chile we only have reruns of the best years of Chespirito’s career, but that’s another story. We’ve got a couple of Chesperito links for you, along with some excellent usage, a giant tattoo, more fashionable clothing, quite a few .gifs, and the odd bit of Australian politics. Enjoy. Mexico comic icon Gomez Bolanos ‘Chespirito’ dies at 85 – Adios: Known as Chespirito (Little Shakespeare), the Mexican’s work delighted children over four decades. […] In 2011 he said: “Nicknames are the most essential in life, more valuable than names.” Funeral Plans For Chespirito, The Simpsons-Related Mexican Comedy Icon [Videos] – If you want to see some of his work, YouTube has you covered. Duffman Runner – An awesome Duffman costume (via @joggingjeans). Simpsons-mad grandfather tattoos back with EVERY character from the show in world record bid – I linked this guy earlier in the year, but his back is done now, and David Mirkin brings the snark: Simpsons Now – And speaking of Twitter, here’s a new account that highlights the awfulness of Zombie Simpsons ins a delightfully understated way. Mental Health Minister Jack Snelling under fire for referring to former Liberal Leader Isobel Redmond as ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ from The Simpsons – Commenter P. Piggly Hogswine sends us this piece of Parliamentary bickering from Australia: Mr Snelling was interrupted by former Liberal Leader Isobel Redmond while speaking on the State Government’s plans to reform the health system. He responded by saying “Eleanor Abernathy is talking again”, referring to a character from The Simpsons who is described online as “the Crazy Cat Lady” and “a mentally-ill woman who surrounds herself with a large number of cats”. The Real-Life Drawbacks of Aspect Ratio Preservation – Our old friend Nebel tells you everything you need to know about cropping TV shows for, uh, TV. Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric: Should Sega give up on Sonic the Hedgehog? | Metro News – Excellent usage: In spite of some bright spots – and crowd-pleasing visits to Super Mario’s world at every opportunity – his recent games haven’t been stellar. It’s the sort of status quo which makes you wish someone would put this mascot out of his misery. As said by a not-at-all-wise-child on The Simpsons: ‘Stop, stop… he’s already dead!’ Happy Thanksgiving! – Can’t have Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce a la Bart. Family: A (Very Late) Thanksgiving Story – Illustrating family with “Bart vs. Thanksgiving” and the above linked…
Quote of the Day
“Alright, here’s the deal: every time you watch my show, I will send you forty dollars!” – Krusty the Klown “Checks will not be honored.” – TV Announcer
Reading Digest: Teaser Announcement Edition
“What’s Gabbo?” – Bart Simpson “I figure it’s some guy’s name. Some guy named Gabbo.” – Homer Simpson It’s been relatively quiet around here the last few weeks. I’ve had a Season 16 disc from Netflix sitting next to my computer since the beginning of the month, but haven’t yet gotten around to more Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry or anything else. However, it was all in the service of something equally pointless: another little mini-book. It’s much shorter than “Zombie Simpsons”, so even using the word “book” feels like a stretch, but it does have a cover: Thanks, Cessna! In case my indirect and overlong title is confusing, it’s about The Simpsons: Tapped Out and it’s not flattering. The full announcement post should go up on Tuesday of next week, though this thing has already taken so much longer than I originally intended that I wouldn’t carve that in stone or anything. I sincerely hope you all like it, but I’ll forewarn you that it’s far more about the game than it is about the show. For today, we’ve got a decent if somewhat skinny (it is summer, after all) link selection. We’ve got a couple more play reviews, the possible origin of the Mathemagician, more Bartkira art, the artist currently known as Pitbull, and frickin’ bacon donuts. Enjoy. Mmm…collectibles: estate sale at home of Homer Simpson’s dad – Castellaneta’s father’s stuff is for sale in suburban Chicago today and tomorrow. Click through for the drawing of Dan done by his dad. My Tapped Out Anniversary – I didn’t make it a whole year, but I understand. Keep up the good work. Talk Tuesdays w/ Steve Reiss, The Math Magician and The Most Boring Author in San Diego – I did not know this, but apparently Mike Reiss has a brother who is a “Math Magician”. Was he the basis for the man who tried to make a remainder disappear? Who Is America’s Favorite TV Family? Answer Depends on Age, Gender and Political Affiliation – Well, mostly age. As in, if you aren’t currently over 50, you probably like The Simpsons. The Simpsons Challenge – 552 episodes of glory? – Todd, don’t do it: So 552 episodes (currently) in 365 days should be pretty easy. Much easier than my Doctor Who challenge (800 episodes some hour-long ones!). It starts off as 1.51 episodes a day as a target. I’m 44 episodes in, having rewatched all 1st and 2nd season episod Quit at 11. For pity’s sake, quit at 11! Simpsons/Akira mashup Bartkira volume one released online – “Moe’s Bar”, yes! INTERVIEW: ALISON WONDERLAND ON THE SIMPSONS AND HER SKYROCKETING SUCCESS – The kids remain alright: You also post Simpsons screenshots pretty regularly on social media. If you could collaborate with one Simpsons character on a track, who would it be and why? It’d be Otto! Vocal sample? Yeah, definitely! Or Barney burping, I could totally sample that. Tune it, make it an instrument. That would be kinda weird. I asked The Game the same question and he said Maggie. He wants to…
Reading Digest: Marketing Success Edition
“Everyone is saying Gabbo this and Gabbo that! But no one is saying worship this and Jericho that!” – Reverend Lovejoy “What’s this about Gabbo?” – Jasper Yet another clipped Reading Digest this week because there are two idiotic pieces of public relations sucking up the internet’s attention. Firstly, they released a trailer for this week’s much hyped Lego episode. For the record, I quite liked The Lego Movie and it would be a welcome and pleasant surprise if Sunday’s episode was even half as entertaining. But I do not have my hopes up. Secondly, Jean, a practiced hand at managing PR stunts, compared whatever that upcoming “major character” death is to Game of Thrones, a show that (despite being on premium cable) is watched by far more people than Zombie Simpson. He called it the “Yellow Wedding”, and pageview desperate bloggers and magazines swooned at being able to tap people’s insatiable need to click on anything Game of Thrones related. My money remains on it being a total head fake nothingburger, with the “death” being a reincarnated Dr. Nick or something else that won’t affect the show at all. Remember when they ran that big contest to have people create a character and then killed him five seconds after they introduced him? This looks an awful lot like that. What we do have though is quite a few very solid links, including cool fan art, an internet retelling of “Cape Feare”, Poochie used to lampoon How I Met Your Mother, a couple of cromulent lists, and a nightmare inducing fan made Mr. Burns mask. Also, there are several factually incorrect links about the low ratings of the show. Enjoy. 6 Fictional Beers you’d love to drink – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this list of fake beers (with plenty of YouTube), half of which are from The Simpsons. 48 reasons ‘Cape Feare’ might be the greatest episode of The Simpsons – The whole story of “Cape Feare” told in .gifs and screen grabs. Outstanding. A Chat with the Cast and Crew of ‘The Simpsons’ – A writeup of a panel discussion Groening, Jean and some of the other big names did: At one point in the panel they are asked if they’re ever worried about running out of story ideas and Matt admits that they really aren’t. More often, “we find ourselves wondering if we’ve already done a joke.” That was in 2003. Jebus. “The Simpsons” Movie Poster Parodies – More fake movie posters. Some I’ve linked before, but “Re-Hominator” is new (I think). Animated sitcoms punching up arcade’s past – The Simpsons – A writeup of the arcade game, and worth the click for the Japanese promotional flyer at the top. (Also, “World 1-1” is a great blog name.) Sweet 17 Syrup and Cinnamon Cake – Cool Simpsons birthday cake: If a list of TV shows that summed up our early years together were in existence, The Simpsons would be pretty near the top, so I’ve tried to incorporate a resemblance to the classic Simpsons donut.…
Renewal Season: Watching the Wall
“Hey, Red Hot Chili Peppers, would you guys like to appear on a Krusty the Klown special?” – Bart Simpson “Sure, if you can get us out of this gig.” – Flea “No problemo. Hey, Moe, look over there!” – Bart Simpson “What? What am I looking at? I don’t see nothing. I’m gonna stop looking soon. What? What, is that it?” – Moe “Hey, Moe, can I look too?” – Homer Simpson “Sure, but it’ll cost you.” – Moe “My wallet’s in the car.” – Homer Simpson “He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.” – Moe [Note: Apologies for speculating about the end of your jobs, people on the staff. You’ve been nothing but courteous and wonderful when contacting us; please understand it’s not personal.] Back in October of 2011 there were widespread rumors that the show was at last on the verge of cancellation. FOX and the principle voice actors were deadlocked over the renewal of the contract. But after a very busy week of anonymously sourced leaks to the press, rampant speculation, and confusion about whether or not there had already been a decision to finally let the show die, it all came to nothing. In the end, the negotiations were less cordial than usual, but the very wealthy people on both sides of the table unsurprisingly agreed to continue making each other slightly wealthier. For all the smoke in the media and on-line, there was very little fire. All those articles, blog posts, comments, Tweets and general what have you stemmed from just three or four anonymous quotes all week. The only person directly involved who was willing to stick his name by anything in the media was the ever admirable Harry Shearer, and all he was doing was dumping on FOX. Well, it’s now October 2013, which means we’re in the same part of the contract cycle as they were two years ago when “Simpsons cancelled?” was one of the big stories of the week. That deal runs through episode 559. “Homerland” was 531; and given the extremely long production time of each episode, it’s likely that episode #559, which will probably be broadcast next Fall, is even now in its earliest stages. Contract negotiations can be easily kept private, especially if they’re going well or both sides just want a simple renewal. But any disruption in the production of the show, or even the ordering of a series finale, would be very difficult to keep off the internet. It was never confirmed or anything, but supposedly one of the reasons the negotiation problems became public last time around was that they were up against a deadline as to whether or not they’d be able to produce a series finale. (Jean later said that had the talks failed, they would’ve held over that future Christmas episode until late 2012 and made it the finale.) If that’s true, then the extension of the show past the current 559 episode contract will become a…
Quote of the Day
“Well, you’ve been on TV longer than I have. I’m sure you’ve saved up quite a nest egg.” – Johnny Carson “Uh, yeah. Do they still buy human hair down at the wig shop?” – Krusty the Klown Happy 20th anniversary to “Krusty Gets Kancelled”! Original airdate 13 May 1993.
Quote of the Day
“I admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies. But, as Gabbo would say, ‘I’m a bad little boy’.” – Mayor Quimby
Compare & Contrast: Celebrity Game Shows and Homer Simpson
“Hurry, Charley, there is not much time.” – Rainier Wolfcastle “I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’ve been in this square fer near thirty seasons, and I ain’t a leavin’ now. Aaaahhhh!” – Not Charley Weaver “He’s dead now.” – Homer Simpson Without drawing too broad a conclusion from just one example, there aren’t many clearer comparisons for how the show’s sense of humor deteriorated than to look at the two times they poked fun at The Hollywood Squares, first in Season 4’s masterful “Krusty Gets Kancelled”, and then again in Season 11’s pathetic “Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder”. What makes these two so revealing isn’t just the way Season 11 did a rote copy and paste job from Season 4, it’s also the way the two episodes make use of Homer. First, though, remember what The Hollywood Squares is. Tic-tac-toe with minor or fading celebrities has been around, on and off, since the 1960s. As you’d expect, Wikipedia has an entertainingly thorough article on it, including exhaustive write ups of all four (4!) times it’s been resurrected from cancellation. But through all its iterations, including the new one that’s built around rappers, the basic concept has remained the same. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. (Image shamelessly yoinked from here.) It’s a show that’s cheap to produce and cheap to market because it relies on cobbling together the renown of nine low wattage and low pay stars to take the place of one big, expensive star. Given the public’s insatiable appetite for famous people (however generously defined) and the entertainment industry’s constant bestowing of mild fame on new people (as well as pushing previously big celebrities further down its guest lists), the show’s durability is no surprise. Any institution that sticks around that long will eventually become ripe for parody, but The Hollywood Squares was born ripe. Its entire reason for existing is to wring a few coins from the leftover scrapings at the bottom of the fame barrel; taste, thought, and embarrassment be damned. Worse, not only is it trashy entertainment; it isn’t even popular trashy entertainment. After once being a hit network show, it now bounces around as cable and syndication filler, just another undistinguished part of the background noise of television. There’s a reason that all the versions are big on scripted jokes and having everyone over-laugh at them: literally none of the “celebrities” really want to be there. That’s pretty sad when you think about it, and distracting the audience from that fact is vital to the show’s appeal. “Live from Springfield Harbor, where the sewage meets the sand!” The Simpsons fully understood that inherent patheticness, which is why the show itself is the target of the jokes. Zombie Simpsons, which “Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder” epitomizes, can’t be bothered with that much thought, so they make Homer acting like a dick the focus of their attempt. For example, consider the way each handles the fact that The Hollywood Squares writes jokes for the celebrities who are supposedly just hanging out and…
A Spectacular and Unwatched Catastrophe
“What the hell was that?” – Krusty the Klown Give Zombie Simpsons credit, when they embarrass themselves for a pop star, they really embarrass themselves for a pop star. From start to finish, “Lisa Goes Gaga” relentlessly displayed the pitiful imagination and mediocre craftsmanship behind Zombie Simpsons. In an episode where they outright tell the audience, right up front in an opening narration, that they’re discarding the usual rules and that weird and strange things are going to happen, just about the only weird and strange things that they managed to conjure were a lot of Lady Gaga outfits. Unfortunately for them, dresses made of birds and fire spitting bras will not fill an entire twenty minutes of screen time. They had to fill in the moments when they weren’t expecting us to laugh because Lady Gaga did something weird with empty and pointless scenes like the school awards, Flanders showing up to converse with Gaga and then disappearing, Marge’s weird behavior at the kitchen table (where she apparently lost the ability to let someone touch her and then quickly regained it), the flash mob, and Homer tossing Lisa around like an hourglass for no reason other than it took up a lot of time. On top of all that, what little plot and story that did manage to exist between the Gaga fluffing and the filler didn’t make any sense and crashed into itself several times. Take, for example, the reaction of the townspeople to Gaga. When she arrives, they’re head over heels in love with her. Then, for no reason we see, they cheer that she’s sad as she’s leaving. Oh, and there were songs, but the less said about those the better. Somewhere in all that mess, Lisa moped around for a while before she felt better, but we didn’t really know why she felt better until she explicitly exposited it – twice. The first one: Lisa: Dad, thank you. Like always, the fact that I could tune you out without fearing that I’d miss out on something gave me the time to take stock and realize how ungrateful I have been. Which means, I’ve got a train to catch. Sure enough, Lisa then catches a train, at which point we get explicit exposition #2: Lisa: Gaga! Gaga: Lisa? Why are you here? Lisa: To thank you. Gaga: For what? Lisa: Look at me! You did help me, by allowing me to inappropriately focus eight years of rage and rejection on you. It was like a great sneeze. And now I can say what’s good about me. That is appallingly bad writing. It basically boils down to this: Gaga: Why are you here. Lisa: Let me tell you. Gaga: Okay, I’ll ask again. Lisa: Now I’ll tell you. Fortunately for Lady Gaga, Zombie Simpsons isn’t relevant enough to damage her pop culture standing, but that was weird, dumb, unfunny, and boring, even by their standards. Anyway, the numbers are in, and Gaga did them no good. Just…
Compare & Contrast: Krusty’s Nadirs
“That dummy doesn’t scare me. I’ve had plenty of guys come after me and I’ve buried ’em all: hobos, sea captains, Joey Bishop.” – Krusty the Klown “Don’t forget the Special Olympics.” – Ms. Pennycandy “Oh yeah, I slaughtered the Special Olympics!” – Krusty the Klown In the introduction to yesterday’s Crazy Noises, I mentioned that “Krusty Changes His Show” should be up there with travel episodes, Homer gets a job, and other serially repeated plots (Lisa gets a cause, Bart gets a girlfriend, etcetera). A corollary to that is the way we see Krusty freak out once he’s at his wit’s end. That’s another thing they did several times even before the show’s EEG went flatter than Kansas (“Bart the Fink”, “Last Temptation of Krust”), but for comparison to the hapless ball pit bath we see in “The Ten-Per-Cent Solution” I’d like to look at the first time we see it, in “Krusty Gets Kancelled”. I would submit to one and all that this is a man truly at a low end: Take a good look at the above image for a second. Krusty’s gaze is lowered and his hair is disheveled; his shirt is frayed and his pants are faded. His sign is haphazard looking even before you read that unlimitedly pathetic message that’s scrawled on it. From the point of his shoes to the droop of his hair, he is every inch unhappy, ashamed, and hopeless. Now take a look at this character: He’s not happy exactly, but everything from his clothes to his hair to his face is on model and looking quite spiffy. Nor is he outside on a street corner, he’s sitting in a ball pit in a nice, comfortable and climate controlled Krusty Burger. Nothing about his appearance or location even remotely bespeaks the kind of desperation as the Krusty from Season 4. That difference becomes magnified when they start talking. Zombie Krusty acts like he normally does, screaming, yelling, and generally very manic. When Lisa informs him that he isn’t her hero, he just ups the ante for wailing and thrashing about. The whole thing is designed to be funny the same way so much of Zombie Simpsons is: franticly and with a maximum of zaniness. Neither his dialogue nor his behavior matches the events or emotions he’s theoretically experiencing. Though, to be fair, that may be expecting too much from a show that just just fired him back and forth between two cannons. This is the only thing “Will Drop Pants for Food” Krusty says, in response to Bart asking him if he’s making any money: “Nah, that guy’s giving it away for free.” This is another one of those perfect, multi-layered Simpsons lines. In just eight words we understand that Krusty is totally defeated, unable even to succeed here at his lowest, pants dropping ebb. Worse, he’s being out pants-dropped by a disheveled old man and is so despondent that he doesn’t care enough to walk to a different street…
The End of Zombie Simpsons Would Be Great; Still Probably Not Happening
“I don’t think they’re giving you enough information, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “I’ll figure it out. I’m gonna use all the power of my brain.” – Homer Simpson The NFL escaped from its lockout basically unscathed, the NBA is getting into serious crunch time with theirs, and now Zombie Simpsons has added its name to this year’s list of labor-management disputes between millionaires and billionaires. This morning, gossip and media columnist Lloyd Grove published an anonymously sourced article on The Daily Beast reporting that contract negotiations between FOX and the voice cast aren’t going well (thanks to Gran2 in comments). Let’s wade into the weeds of spin-tastic journalism: Fox studio execs have occasionally threatened to replace uncooperative cast members with sound-alike actors. But for the first time in nearly a quarter century of haggling, the executives have insisted that if the cast doesn’t accept a draconian 45 percent pay cut, The Simpsons will die an abrupt death as a first-run series. According to Grove’s anonymous “insider”, the threat here isn’t that they’ll continue the show with a new cast, it’s that they’ll just stop it at the end of the current production run. The article goes on to relate details of the negotiation, of which there are two actual pieces of information: Sticking Point #1 – FOX is asking for a 45% salary cut, actors are offering 30%. Sticking Point #2 – In exchange, the actors want a back end percentage. FOX doesn’t like that. The rest of the article is mostly filler, including the widely reported but dubiously sourced claim that the six principle voice actors are currently making $8,000,000 per year (which is roughly $400,000 per episode). Headlined “Money Dispute May End ‘Simpsons’”, the story has already been linked on Jebus knows how many other sites (Google has it on Vulture, USA Today, Huffington Post, and The A.V. Club already, none of which I’m going to link because all of them just point back to the original article) and is currently eating the #Simpsons tag on Twitter. So, what if anything does this new information mean? Until something more concrete comes along, the answer is “not much”. You will be seeing this story all over the place for the next week at least, but unless some more actual information bubbles to the surface it will be nothing but rehashed speculation, not unlike the recent “Simpsons channel” non-story. So if you’re reading something and all it does is link back to The Daily Beast, you can safely ignore it. Whoever Grove’s source, they obviously have an interest in the negotiations, but we don’t even know if they’re labor or management so I wouldn’t put too much energy into analyzing either sticking point. Furthermore, there is no reason to believe that FOX wants to end the show. Their motives in keeping it on the air have been purely mercenary to this point, and nothing in Grove’s story indicates a change in attitude. The bottom line is that while it is…