“What is your area of expertise?” – Adult Education Annex Administrator“Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” – Homer Simpson“No you can’t, Mr. Simpson, no one can!” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
Author: Charlie Sweatpants
Quote of the Day
“Now, why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask, oh, reasonable listener? Because this town is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed tree-huggers who would rather play hacky sack than lock up the homeless.” – Birch Barlow Rush Limbaugh died, and while I have read a few appropriately scathing summations, this is the best I’ve seen at explaining his appeal. Birch was cool to the uncoolest people in America, and it was worth tens of millions of dollars per year.
Quote of the Day
“Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in ten years!” – NASA Guy That was damn fine television.
Quote of the Day
“Digital audiotape my butt! When I was a kid we had compact discs and I don’t recall no one complaining.” – Bart Simpson“Damn right.” – Jake the Barber
Quote of the Day
“Ahh, the morning horoscope . . . Today will be a day like every other day. . . . Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson Things are calming down, I thought. I’ll have time to blog, I figured. The post about what Disney is going to do with the show won’t sprawl on me to the point that I don’t even know how many chunks to break it into, I told myself.
Quote of the Day
“Get out of my office!” – Matt Groening Happy birthday!
Quote of the Day
“Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student, possibly Bart Simpson, has been circulating candy hearts featuring crude, off color sentiments.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Hello, I’m Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Uh-oh, two Independent Thought Alarms in one day! The students are over stimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.” – Principal Skinner“I warned you! Didn’t I warn you? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!” – Groundskeeper Willie
Quote of the Day
“Have you noticed any change in Bart?” – Marge Simpson “New glasses?” – Homer Simpson “No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.” – Marge Simpson “Probably misses his old glasses.” – Homer Simpson“I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities, but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.” – Marge Simpson “Yeah, and then we’d get the chair.” – Homer Simpson “That’s not what I meant.” – Marge Simpson “It was, Marge, admit it.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Lis, today I am a god.” – Bart Simpson“Is that why you’re sitting on an ice cream sandwich?” – Lisa Simpson“Eww.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Mel, bring me another nicotine patch! Uh, I think there’s some space on my butt.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“The next few weeks at my dream job were like a wonderful waking coma.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, I’m glad some people could resist the lures of the big game.” – Reverend Lovejoy“Oh my God! I forgot the game!” – Parishioner
Quote of the Day
“Can’t I come home later?” – Milhouse van Houten“There’s not going to be a home later.” – Luann van Houten
Quote of the Day
“Ahh, they think they’re so high and mighty, just cause they never got caught driving without pants.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Holy cow! You just fell on Aerosmith.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Forgot there was a physical today, huh?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Bart dude! Whoa, you look freaked.” – Otto“Hey, Otto man, I got a big test that I am not ready for! Could you please crash the bus or something?” – Bart Simpson“Oh, sorry, little buddy, can’t do it on purpose. But, hey, maybe you’ll get lucky!” – Otto
Quote of the Day
“Now turn to the next problem. If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you? . . . You, the redhead in the Chicago school system.” – Troy McClure“Pepsi?” – Little Redhead Girl“Partial credit!” – Troy McClure