“Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis! But mine worked, damn it!” – C.M. Burns
Tag: A Star Is Burns
Quote of the Day
“Oh, boy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“Nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. And you must be the man who didn’t know if he had a pimple or a boil.” – Jay Sherman “It was a gummy bear.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ve learned that I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, there’ll be a new Barnard Gumble! I’m working clean and sober!” – Barney Gumble “Congratulations, Barney. And enjoy your grand prize, a lifetime supply of Duff Beer.” – Mayor Quimby “Just hook it to my veins!” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Action!” – Lisa Simpson “Hello, I’m Bart Simpson. In the past, I’ve brought you such classic films as Homer in the Shower and Homer on the Toilet. And now, I give you: The Eternal Struggle.” – Bart Simpson “Relaxed fit my Aunt Fanny! Stupid Dockers! Oh, the belt is buckled . . .” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“In culture, dead last…” – Kent Brockman “Eleanor, we’ve got to do something about this Depression. So I propose . . . oh, that’s right, I’m crippled.” – Krusty the Klown
Quote of the Day
“Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in Death Wish 9.” – Jay Sherman “I wish I was dead. Oy.” – Charles Bronson
Reading Digest: Open Audition Edition
“Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.” – Mr. Smithers “Excellent.” – C.M. Burns It’s a short Reading Digest this week because I’m still behind the eight-ball, and the Dead Homer Society inbox still has rainbow wigs and floppy shoes everywhere, but some Reading Digest is better than no Reading Digest (right?). Since the announcement of the (possible, still very unconfirmed) departure of Harry Shearer, plenty of people have been throwing their voices into the ring. This week, we’ve got three of them (kinda). We’ve also got some excellent usage, another Simpsons recasting, globetrotting Nancy…
Quote of the Day
“The metric system is the tool of the Devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “A Star Is Burns”! Original airdate: 5 March 1995.
On the Family Guy Thing
“And if you ever want to visit my show…” – Jay Sherman “Nah, we’re not gonna be doing that.” – Bart Simpson Family Guy has been a raw nerved subject for Simpsons fans pretty much since it began. This owes in part to the fact that no less a person than Harry Shearer has said that it was cooked up by FOX for the express purposes of squeezing the underpaid voice actors on The Simpsons. (I don’t know if that’s actually true or not, but it certainly sounds like something FOX would do and Shearer is orders of magnitude more trustworthy…
Quote of the Day
“I like him. He’s smart, he’s sensitive, he’s clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance.” – Lisa Simpson “My ears are burning.” – Homer Simpson “Uh, I wasn’t talking about you, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a q-tip.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Bart Simpson, meet Jay Sherman the critic.” – Homer Simpson “Hello.” – Jay Sherman “Hey, man, I really love your show. I think all kids should watch it! Ew, I suddenly feel so dirty.” – Bart Simpson Happy birthday Mike Reiss!
Quote of the Day
“’I’m looking for a film critic to help judge our festival. Did you know there are over six-hundred critics on teevee and Leonard Maltin is the best looking of them all?” – Marge Simpson “Eww.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I don’t know what’s happening. It seems our profits have dropped thirty-seven percent.” – C.M. Burns “I’m afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre.” – Mr. Smithers “I ought to club them and eat their bones!” – C.M. Burns
Reading Digest: Movie Reviews Edition
“You know something, Marge? It’s not that tough being a film cricket.” – Homer Simpson This week we both start and finish with Simpsons related movie reviews. In between we’ve got the two big stories that were all over the place, Elvis’s wife disliking the show, a couple of pieces of “aww”-type remembrances of the show (including the first time I’ve ever heard of someone named Julian watching “Homer’s Phobia”), some fan art, a great piece of New York City graffiti, the barest possible mention of the Season 15 DVDs, and a fantastic (and practical) Marge Simpson costume. Enjoy. [Spinoff…
“A Star Is Burns” Spews Truth
“The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.” – Rainier Wolfcastle “How do you sleep at night?” – Jay Sherman “On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.” – Rainier Wolfcastle If these meta-commentary posts are ever enlightening, this one promises to be minimally so. I don’t think I’ve ever heard one that is just this straight up funny. It’s basically twenty minutes of Lovitz, Jean, Castellaneta and company ragging on each other personally and professionally in sometimes really mean ways while they…
Reading Digest: The Popularity of Others Edition
“The easiest way to be popular, is to leech of the popularity of others.” – Patty Bouvier “So we propose changing our name from ‘Springfield’, to ‘Seinfeld’.” – Selma Bouvier As expected, the word “Simpsons” appeared near the word “Gaga” an awful lot this week; there were links about seeing her behind the scenes, about what she thought of doing the voice, and just about any other bit of non-news that can be used to put the words “Lady Gaga” in a headline and generate some pageviews. As there is no need to worry about any of that until Sunday,…
Quote of the Day
“Tonight we’ll visit Springfield’s answer to the Benedictine monks, the Rappin’ Rabbis.” – Kent Brockman “Don’t eat pork, not even with a fork! Can’t touch this!” – The Rappin’ Rabbis “Marge, are we Jewish?” – Homer Simpson “No, Homer.” – Marge Simpson “Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Excellent. Bribing those two judges has paid off, just as it did during the Miss Teen America pageant.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I’m sleeping with the head of the festival.” – Homer Simpson “How many times have I heard Rex Reed say that?” – Jay Sherman Happy birthday Jon Lovitz!