In yet another example of life imitating The Simpsons, the German ambassador to the United Nations went on The Colbert Report last night and told a toilet seat joke so Teutonic it could’ve come from the well ordered Prussian mind of Rainier Wolfcastle himself. (Note: I tried to embed the video, but WordPress and Comedy Central don’t appear to get along.)
Tag: A Star Is Burns
Reading Digest: Children’s Art & Crossover Edition
“Coming up next, ‘The Flintstones Meet The Jetsons’.” – TV Announcer “Uh-oh, I smell another cheap cartoon crossover.” – Bart Simpson There is a larger than usual list of links this week, we’ve got everything from lawn mowers and Lithuanian comic books to Homer cakes and another rebuttal of the idea that pop culture necessarily ages badly. As for the title, well, there are two of them. First someone pines for a crossover, and then an art teacher talks about how the interests of kids have changed over time. Then someone gets a crossover, and we discover a way to…
All Glory Is Fleeting
Image used under Creative Commons License from Flickr user cliff1066™. “Arggh, my groin!” – George C. Scott There’s new Zombie Simpsons in about an hour. It’s gonna be bad: Bart’s cartoon about an angry dad is turned into Angry Dad: The Movie and quickly becomes a critics’ favorite. When Russell Brand (guest-voicing as himself) presents the Golden Globe to Bart’s film, Homer usurps the podium and gives his own acceptance speech. The film’s winning streak continues with Homer taking credit at each ceremony, so when Angry Dad receives an Oscar nomination, Bart keeps it a secret. With the help of…
“The Sweetest Apu” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“But first we have a special guest: Rainer Wolfcastle, star of the reprehensible McBain movies.” – Jay Sherman I have very little memory of this episode. Turns out that’s a good thing, because it’s bad. And since the commentators didn’t bother to comment on it much, I’m not going to either. I will say that, unlike most of the times they just completely ignore the episode, this one could have been very entertaining. Unfortunately, I’m not a big fan of Inside the Actors Studio. If I were, I would have found this fascinating. There’s a lot of information from Lipton…
Reading Digest: Favre Instead of Banksy Edition
“And the Oscar goes to . . .” – Rainier Wolfcastle “I’ve got to win this one, I bribed everyone in Hollywood.” – C.M. Burns “. . . George C. Scott in ‘Man Getting Hit by Football’.” – Rainier Wolfcastle As you can tell, we’ve been running behind this week. It was one of those weeks where lots of little things seem to be conspiring against you, but it’s over now. On the plus side, there is no new Zombie Simpsons for three weeks! Woo-hoo! The Banksy opening was all over the internet, and having said my piece about that…
Crazy Noises: Loan-a-Lisa
Original concept art for Itchy & Scratchy “Up” parody in “Loan-a-Lisa”. The Itchy & Scratchy bit at the beginning of “Loan-a-Lisa” was, to put it mildly, creatively bankrupt. It starts by spending forty-five seconds re-enacting “Up” with nary a joke in sight; that would be bad enough, but Zombie Simpsons then makes things even worse. Instead of ending with some kind of “Up” inspired violence (a balloon house falling on them, a giant blimp attack, a pack of remotely controlled dogs tearing them to pieces) it ends by repeating not one, not two, but three (3) scenes from previous Itchy…
Crazy Noises: Chief of Hearts
“At last, an excuse to wear makeup!” – Chief Wiggum In our continuing mission to bring you only the finest in low class, low brow, and low tech internet Simpsons commentary we’re bringing back our “Crazy Noises” series and applying it to Season 21. Because doing a podcast smacks of effort we’re still using this “chatroom” thing that all the middle schoolers and undercover cops seem to think is so cool. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (though, for comedy purposes, “cumly” has been left alone). Zombie Simpsons likes to graft hackneyed plot ideas and story structures…
Quote of the Day
“My name is Barney and I’m an alcoholic.” – Barney Gumble “Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.” – Lisa Simpson “Is it? Or is it that you girls can’t admit you have a problem?” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Oh, I thought they were playing ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ tonight.” – Dr. Julius Hibbert
Friday Link Dump – Skepticism Edition
“I’m telling you people, the Earth revolves around the Sun!” – Principal Skinner “Burn him!” – Abe “Grandpa” Simpson There’s a nice menagerie this week. We’ve got the usual random internet crap, a spectacular usage fail, me hating on astrology, Simpsonized skeptics, and an oblique reference to the Miss Universe pageant. 10 Best Father/Son Wisdom Exchanges from TV and Movies – Bart and Homer make the list for Homer’s awesome “You’re not talking about killing anyone, are you?” speech. Miss Kosovo vs Marge Simpson – You be the judge. – Miss Kosovo (it’s a country now!) lost the Miss Universe…
And It’s Not Even Close
Apparently Jerry Seinfeld is coming to Ottawa. This prompted a columnist in The Ottawa Citizen to praise Seinfeld and his show for being second only to Shakespeare in terms of adding “catchphrases” to the language. That’s all well and good, but this paragraph cannot go unremarked upon: Most catchphrases are pure confection and essentially hollow: think of the greatest hits of Seinfeld’s closest competitor in numbers, The Simpsons: “D’oh!” or “don’t have a cow” or “eat my shorts” are memorable, but they don’t really say anything that we didn’t already know how to say ourselves, though perhaps not so memorably.…
FOX Plans Self Fellatio for January
“Listen Senor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.” – C.M. Burns “Uh, Schindler es bueno, senor Burns es el diablo.” – Senor Spielbergo “Listen Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!” – C.M. Burns Morgan Spurlock, of Super Size Me fame (and Where in the World is Osama bin Laden? mild notoriety), will be producing and directing a FOX special called “The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special…
Quote of the Day
“Barney’s movie had heart, but ‘Football in the Groin’ had a football in the groin.” – Homer Simpson’s Brain