“What are you doing inside?” – Marge Simpson “Work was hard, so we quit.” – Bart Simpson “What?” – Marge Simpson “Hard work made us quit.” – Lisa Simpson
Tag: Bart Carny
Quote of the Day
“The main thing is to bring in the rubes.” – Cooter “Do whatever it takes: sweet talk, insults, slang from the 30s that no one uses anymore.” – Spud “Like rubes?” “Now you’re on the trolley.” – Spud
Quote of the Day
“Oh, this isn’t fun. Maybe if you didn’t go to the bathroom so much you wouldn’t be so small.” – Bart Simpson
Behind Us Forever: Friends and Family
“I want to go on the yard work simulator!” – Bart Simpson The official synopsis for this week’s episode of Zombie Simpsons: Mr. Burns’ search for a clan to play his virtual-reality family leads him to hire the Simpsons, except for Homer, since Burns intends to play the father. With nothing to do, Homer befriends the new next-door neighbor, a woman who eats, drinks, thinks and acts like him. A more honest synopsis: Burns goes to a therapist, who then dies for no apparent reason. At the funeral, which the Simpsons attend because reasons, Burns realizes no one loves him.…
Quote of the Day
“Now, this geek bit is pretty straightforward. You just bite the heads off the chickens and take a bow. Go on, give it a try. Remember: big smiles!” – Rich Texan
Quote of the Day
“Turn on the TV, Lis.” – Bart Simpson “You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday.” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You’re looking at Adolf Hitler’s personal limousine! It’s roomier than Bonnie & Clyde’s death car, and was the first automobile to come with fahrvergnugen.” – Rich Texan “Wow, it’s fuhrerriffic!” – Bart Simpson
Sorry, Uproxx, Zombie Simpsons Is Never Worth Watching
“Sorry.” – Screamatorium Carny I understand the desire for there to be funny and watchable episodes of Zombie Simpsons. Hell, I share it. If they ever made a good episode again you could get out the crayolas and color me tickled pink. But that will never happen. The show is too far gone to regain even a spark of what once made it great, and the proof of that is on display in every episode of Zombie Simpsons. And I mean every episode, as in all ten on this Uproxx list of “10 Episodes From the Past Five Years That Are Totally Worth…
Quote of the Day
“Well, well, look who’s here, Mr. No Bribe. Sure, we’ll help you. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like I Give A Damn.” – Chief Wiggum “Thank you, so much.” – Homer Simpson “Dad.” – Lisa Simpson “Honey, Daddy’s waiting for the detective.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself first to show ’em how.” – Homer Simpson “I’m not going to the bathroom in the back yard.” – Marge Simpson “Sorry, your majesty.” – Homer Simpson
Crazy Noises: Bart Carny
“Why did you shudder just now, Mom?” – Lisa Simpson “I don’t know.” – Marge Simpson There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September, so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders). So log…
It Seems Like Only Yesterday
In college I had to take a few courses in which I had absolutely no interest. One of those courses was a European history course which spanned the period from sometime before they crucified the jew (happy good friday everyone!) until the 11th or 12th century A.D.. I don’t remember much of it at all. I do, however, remember wondering what Rome must of looked like for the last week or two before Alaric had his way with it. My question was answered over the last few days as the local channel which syndicates Simpson episodes in my area chose…