“Ladies and gentlemen, the clown show has been put on hiatus for retooling.” – TV Announcer As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things. The only kind of on-line communications we like are the kind that could once…
Tag: Bart Gets Famous
Quote of the Day
Image shamelessly yoinked from here. “Yes, Krusty?” – Bart Simpson “Bart, I need to get your fingerprints on a candlestick. Meet me in the conservatory chop chop. Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be all right.” – Krusty the Klown
Somewhere, Klaus Kinski Weeps
“Have any of your workers ever had their hands cut off by the machinery?” – Bart Simpson “No.” – Box Factory Guy “And then the hands started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody?” – Bart Simpson “No, that has never happened.” – Box Factory Guy “Any popped eyeballs?” – Bart Simpson In some alternate universe the basic premise behind “The Scorpion’s Tale” could’ve been used for a decent half hour of television. It would need to be done on a show that isn’t five hundred episodes old, but a drug that gets geezers stoned could’ve worked. On Zombie Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“Bart, I’ve asked you not to whistle that annoying tune.” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
Synergy Salivates on Command
Image from Wikimedia Commons. “And now boys and girls, here he is, the boy that says the words you’ve been longing to hear, like the salivating dogs that you are: Bart Simpson!” – Krusty the Klown No two secondary characters are more associated with stereotypical Zombie Simpsons fandom than Ralph Wiggum and Comic Book Guy. They went from uproarious diversions to main attractions, the one part of any episode the writers can be confident will cause well conditioned people to slap their fins together. Synergy, being the corporate-fanboy id of Zombie Simpsons mentality, wallows in them: We also got to…
Quote of the Day
“Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance.” – Conan O’Brien Happy birthday Conan O’Brien!
Zombie Simpsons Gets (Unintentionally) Meta
“I’m sorry, I’m really not comfortable with this, Ethan.” – Bumblebee Man “What’s the matter, love?” – Ethan the Director “It’s just, it’s, it’s the same old tired gags, isn’t it? I mean, let’s give the audience some credit.” – Bumblebee Man “How about a giant mousetrap?” – Ethan the Director “I love it!” – Bumblebee Man Programming note: Not that anyone is frantically hitting the refresh button in anticipation of three slightly tipsy guys blathering about why Zombie Simpsons sucks, but this week’s Crazy Noises post has been delayed by a schedule conflict.* It should go up on Friday.…
The Hidden Danger of a Nobel Peace Prize
“Impaled on my Nobel Peace Prize, how ironic.” – Lisa Simpson Congratulations(?), President Obama.
Dead Homer Society, Meet Twitter.
Lisa: Forget it, Dad. If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad. Bart: Obnoxious fad? “Forget it, Dad. If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.” – Lisa Simpson “Obnoxious fad?” – Bart Simpson Have you ever taken a shit or clubbed a baby seal and thought to yourself, “Gee, I wish I could share this meaningful experience with everyone who has a web browser?” Twitter, the obnoxious Internet fad-of-the-moment, is your outlet. And now, it’s ours too. Think…
Getting Out of Hand
“I’m in television now. It’s my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job.” – Bart Simpson Simpsons Channel has a post up with the promo image for April 19th’s Zombie Simpsons, titled “The Good, the Sad and the Drugly”. Here’s the plot description: To win the heart of Jenny (guest voice Anne Hathaway) a sweet 5th grade girl, Bart becomes a good samaritan and gives up his prank-pulling days Given the presence of the perfectly cromulent word “drugly” in the title I’m gonna guess that this girl might have a lesson or two to teach…
Quote of the Day
“I’m Kent Brockman, on the 11 o’clock news tonight, a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won’t tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm.” – Kent Brockman