“It must be wonderful to ring in the New Year over and over and over.” – Marge Simpson “Please, kill me.” – T.G.I. McScratchy’s Waiter
Tag: Itchy and Scratchy Land
Quote of the Day
“Mom! Dad! Bart’s dead!” – Lisa Simpson “Ah!” – Homer & Marge Simpson “That’s right! Dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land!” – Bart Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Now to absorb some local color through the magic of AM radio.” – Homer Simpson “The Book of Revelations tells us to watch for the seven signs of evil!” – Radio Hustler #1 “Sign of evil number four . . . ” – Radio Hustler #2 “Continuing our sign of evil countdown, here’s Vanessa Williams.” – Not Casey Kasem
Quote of the Day
“Back, you robots! Nobody ruins my family vacation but me! And maybe the boy!” – Homer Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“We’re now approaching our final destination, Itchy & Scratchy Land, the amusement park of the future, where nothing can possib-ply go wrong. Uh, possibly go wrong. . . . That’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.” – Unsuspecting Helicopter Pilot
Quote of the Day
“Oh, everything’s too damn expensive these days. Look at this Bible I just got, fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book, everybody’s a sinner! . . . Except for this guy.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Embarrassed? What are you talking about?” – Homer Simpson “Well, there was our trip to the Amish country.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, yes . . . Hey, look, Marge! They’re still not fighting back! I can be a jerk and no one can stop me!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop! I repeat: we are sold out of Bort license plates!”
Quote of the Day
“For this week only, we’re cutting ticket prices in half!” – Scratchy
Quote of the Day
“I’ve already planned our vacation. We’re going to the Highway 9 bird sanctuary. I understand they’ve installed a new bird feeder this year. . . . It’s shaped like a diner! . . . And it’s on this really tall pole!” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, haven’t we stood in five different states long enough?” – Lisa Simpson “No.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’m so embarrassed, I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.” – Marge Simpson “Okay, throw her in the hole.” – Itchy & Scratchy Land Trooper “Oh, please, it was just a figure of speech!” – Marge Simpson
Free San Diego Swag and Summer Guest Posts
“As Roger Meyers Jr., the owner of the park, I’d like to thank you for stopping the killer robots. And to show my appreciation, here are two free passes.” – Roger Meyers Jr. “But there are five of us.” – Homer Simpson “Here are two free passes.” – Roger Meyers Jr. “That’s better.” – Homer Simpson Last week I mentioned that Simpsons singing group from New York that will be performing in San Diego this Saturday. Well, they’ve been very generous and offered us two free tickets to their performance. Like last year with the Mr. Burns play in D.C., none of us can go, but we’ll be giving those tickets to the first person who offers to see it and write us a quickie review for it. You pick, 5:30pm or 9:30pm on Saturday the 20th at the C3 Performing Arts Center. (You can watch the trailer video here.) If you want to see the show but don’t want to write a review, you can always toil in our underground sugar caves or work the lima bean harvest for the first 100,000 years, but we’d rather have a few hundred words about whether or not you liked what you saw. I’ve also been reminded via e-mail that it is now summer, which means that it’s also the season for guest posts. I’ve got a couple in the hopper, but if you have a Simpsons related rant/theory/favorite episode/personal story/editorial reply, we’d love to read it. Pictures and images are welcome, and we’re happy to link back to your blog, Twitter account, or other on-line haunt. As always, no money and (very) minor internet fame can be yours! Please e-mail us if you want the tickets or if you have a guest post or post idea.
Reading Digest: Pre-San Diego Edition
“Lobster hat, fishnet speedo junior, wheelie shoes, invisible dog leash . . . well, I’m packed.” – Homer Simpson This week we’ve got a couple of links to a singing troupe that’s headed – at FOX’s expense – to sunny California next weekend for Comic Con. They’ve got two shows coming up, plus they’re performing at the convention itself. In addition to that, we’ve got several great pieces of non-musical fan art, plenty of usage and references, the ongoing saga of the Simpsons bracket, and a couple of great episode write ups. Enjoy. We Put The Spring In Springfield – Two years ago we linked to a New York City based group that was putting on renditions of Simpsons songs. Well, they are back and they are going to San Diego next weekend. Per their press release e-mail: I wanted to let you guys know that FOX is flying us out to San Diego to perform on the official The Simpsons panel (with Al Jean, Matt Groening, etc.) at ComicCon 2013! We’re doing a show that night too. There’s a show tomorrow night in New York at the Duplex Cabaret Theater in Manhattan, and then it’s off to California for two shows next Saturday. Here’s the preview video. Comic-Con 2013 schedule: See what’s happening Saturday – And here’s what else is going on next weekend: 12:45p.m.-1:30p.m., Ballroom 20, The Simpsons: Celebrate The Simpsons’ 25th year on the air with creator Matt Groening, executive producer Al Jean, supervising director Mike Anderson, and consulting producer David Silverman, enjoy never-before seen footage from guest director Guillermo del Toro, and hear musical guests perform “We Put The Spring In Springfield!” We all know who the musical guests are now. Maine Hospital Honors The Simpsons In Unique Manner – A hospital in Maine refers to unknown patients, many of them hunters who weren’t carrying ID with them, as John and Jane “D’Ohs”. Someone on the show heard about this, and now they’ve got all manner of Simpsons swag: A recent John D’Oh at WMMC happened to be a friend of one of the program’s producers. After the hospital’s ER doctors saved his life, he promised them he would show his thanks in a unique way. Shortly thereafter, sets of Simpsons scrubs arrived for the entire staff. Now, when anyone calls WMMC, they are greeted by the voice of a Simpsons character on the hospital’s automated phone system. Click through for the full story, it’s awesome. Game Of Thrones Simpsonized – This was everywhere this week, and deservedly so. Here’s a link to the original Tumblr. Well done. Watching the Neighbourhood Watch – Good job, people of Toronto: On a walk through the Roncesvalles area I stumbled across a neighbourhood watch sign that was a tad unusual. In place of the usual blue faces it prominently displayed Adam West era Batman and Robin. I thought it was hilarious and kind of a one off thing…..until I discovered another one with Robocop! So far the mysterious artist…
Reading Digest: Theme Park Edition
“Torture Land, Explosion Land, Searing Gas Pain Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land . . . hmmm.” – Marge Simpson Universal Studios down in America’s Wang is getting ready to unveil their new and expanded Simpsons area. This caused half the people on the internet to link to it this week, so it’s a shorter than average Reading Digest. We do have a video of it under construction, as well as something much cooler: a fan made map of Disney Land crossed with Itchy & Scratchy Land. In addition to that we’ve got a bunch of other excellent fan made stuff, an interview with Harry Shearer, some sly Simpsons references Blizzard inserted into World of Warcraft, some Australian street art, more evidence that Zombie Simpsons can’t construct a decent parody to save its life, and a couple of people who either wrote or wanted to write about the show in college. Enjoy. Nyima – Duffwoman – A Hungarian cosplay enthusiast has created a rather awesome Duffwoman costume. The beer can laden skirt really makes it. GTO – Lenny and Carl – by `DanLuVisiArt on deviantART – Fan made art of Homer, Carl and Otto in a Grand Theft Auto style. Excellent. (via Kotaku) Glen Brogan – Itchy and Scratchy Land – More excellent fan art: Itchy and Scratchy Land 16 x 20 Edition of 50 Glen says: “This piece is an excuse for me to combine two things I love: the design of old Disney theme park maps and The Simpsons. I went through the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode and took lots of screen captures and notes to get the map as accurate to the show as possible.” Bravo. INTERVIEW: Harry Shearer, on SNL, The Simpsons, and Spinal Tap – Nothing really new here, but well worth a read because Shearer: HS: Talk to myself, what do you think I am, nuts? Actually, C Montgomery Burns is the favorite, because he doesn’t fall prey to the temptation to dilute his evil with even a scintilla of good. Fox owns the voices, so if I did slip into one, I’d owe them money. There are a lot of great things about Harry Shearer, but his more or less open loathing of FOX has to be near the top. phil hartman – This week was the 15th anniversary of Phil Hartman’s death. This is a remembrance, with a great Troy McClure mashup YouTube. The Simpsons as a Narratively Complex Show – This is a rather serious college essay that I freely admit I have not had time to read all the way through. But I plan to because a quick skim shows it talking about not just the show, but the environment in which it was created and how those things influenced it. Bartkira! – More fan art for the Bartkira project. Watch a Tour of the Simpsons Theme Park Construction – This isn’t so much a tour as it is a series of slow camera pans on YouTube, but if you’re interested…
Behind Us Forever: Fabulous Faker Boy
“My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh, God, I’m ugly!” – Homer Simpson Well, it was certainly nice of the Robot Chicken guys to eat up ninety seconds of screentime with that opening. And it’s a good thing they did, because if this scene with Marge and Skinner is any indication, we’re mostly in for filler here. Skinner is now playing a guitar he pulled from behind his desk as surely as if it was a rabbit from a hat, and this goes on until well after Marge had left the building. Sideshow Mel is now giving Bart music lessons, why? And then Frink and Comic Book Guy because . . . oh, the hell with it. What’s with the licorice thing? “Let’s drink vodka” – Good advice for anyone watching this episode. The scene where Bart walks across the playground to deliberately run into the bullies made very little sense, then they topped themselves by having Marge and this Russian guy sitting in her car in her driveway. Impressive. I’m confused by the Russian Makin’ Whoopee montage, though I really shouldn’t be. It’s 30 seconds long, the entire episode (credits to credits) is only 18:30, so that ate almost 3% of the runtime right there. And it was only the first of two montages. Krusty and Captain McAllister sure had valid reasons for being at that recital we never learned anything about. Someone in comments pointed out that this one was heavy on people just showing up for no reason, and they were correct. Uh, is that going to be the whole Patrick Stewart thing? [End of episode note: Yes, yes it was.] Whoa, Helen Lovejoy really doesn’t sound like herself anymore. Hey the Russian guy is back to exposit the end for us. That was nice of him. “It was wrong of me to force my dreams on you”, where did that come from? Marge made Bart take up music because Skinner suggested it, not because she wanted to be a piano player. Is it possible that by the end of these they’re phoning it in so badly that no one remembers the beginning? The incoherence of this episode cannot be overstated, and yet I also cannot use any extreme superlatives because, let’s face it, it’s no more or less incoherent than most episodes these days. Characters appear out of thin air, stories are dropped for no reason whatsoever, the plots (such as they are) get resolved with single scene twists instead of having anything to do with what came before. To take but one example from this episode, here is the entirety of Homer’s plot: 1. Homer’s last two hairs fall out (note that this has happened before). 2. Homer goes to the Kwik-E-Mart where he gets atrocious jokes spat at him by Apu, Flanders’ Dad (for some reason), and the Rich Texan. 3. Homer goes to Moe’s where Moe rips off his own hair and gives some to Homer. 4. Homer goes to work where…
Quote of the Day
“Roger Meyers senior, the gentle genius behind Itchy and Scratchy, loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world. And he, in return, was beloved by the world, except in 1938 when he was criticized for his controversial cartoon Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors.” – Roger Meyers Story Narrator
Quote of the Day
“We have another jumper on the roof of T.G.I. McScratchy’s.” – I&S Control Technician
Quote of the Day
“But, Marge, I was a political prisoner.” – Homer Simpson “How were you a political prisoner?” – Marge Simpson “I kicked a giant mouse in the butt, do I have to draw you a diagram?” – Homer Simpson
Compare & Contrast: Hostile Robots
“Wow, this is so much like my dreams, it’s scary.” – Bart Simpson The robot apocalypse has been a staple of fiction literally since “robots” were first imagined. According to Wikipedia, the word “robot” was first coined for a Czech play about robots who, you guessed it, rise up and defeat us squishy humans. (Apparently, it’s a translation of the Czech word for “slave”. I learned something today.) That idea has been the foundation for who knows how many works of fiction, and has so thoroughly penetrated mainstream culture that making jokes about it is more or less obligatory every time some new advance in actual electronics is announced. Most stories about robot uprisings occur in the realm of science fiction for the obvious reason that, as Linda Hamilton so eloquently put it back in 1984, “They cannot make things like that yet.”. Indeed, they cannot. This presents a problem for shows like The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons, which have contemporary settings but still want to have some fun at the expense of our would be overlords. Since this is fiction (and animated fiction at that), no problem is really insoluble. Whether you’re broadcasting in 1994 or 2012, if you want to have rebelling robots, you can have rebelling robots. The important question is how you go about it. You can work the robots into the larger framework of the episode, making them and their characteristics part of the setting and satire. Or you can just conjure them out of nowhere, strip them of all characteristics save the most grossly basic outline of a “robot”, and have them traipse around with no discernable rhyme or reason. The former is what The Simpsons did in “Itchy & Scratchy Land”, the latter is a roughly accurate description of whatever the hell it was Zombie Simpsons did in “Them, Robot”. The Simpsons always had its share of improbable plots, but murderous robots was pretty far out there, even by their standards. Consequently, the episode is very deliberate about how it introduces the concept that will eventually be crucial to its ending. The first act is all about the family going on vacation, and doing so in very familiar terms: marketing gets kids to pester their parents, the parents eventually cave, and there’s a long and not terribly pleasant car ride. All of it is given that specially ludicrous Simpsons touch (Homer having a trunk full of fruits and vegetables, AM radio’s love of “signs of evil”, the shortcut), but there’s nothing that isn’t relatable to anyone who’s ever spent slow hours in the front or back seat on a family road trip. The turn comes right before the first commercial break, when they go from the Itchy Lot to a helicopter that has a Jurassic Park style logo on the side and a pilot who confidently informs them that nothing can “possi-ply” go wrong as the Simpsons nervously glance at one another. It’s an obvious allusion to a massively popular science fiction movie,…