Tag: Homer and Apu

“You are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery.

“Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier’s head off.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “There’s an interesting behind this nickle. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three, medium brown…” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Expired ham? Oh, this time I’ve gone too far. No. No one will fall for-” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Woo-hoo! Cheap meat! Ooh, this one’s open.” – Homer Simpson

“That’s a good price for twelve pounds of nutmeg.” – Marge Simpson “Great selection and rock bottom prices! But where is the love?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Attention Monstromart shoppers: just a reminder that we love each and every one of you.” – PA Announcer “Awww.” – Customers

“Stop being such babies! You can’t be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I’m using a . . . Apu, what do you call this things again?” – Homer Simpson “A napkin.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Hahahaha, outrageous!” – Homer Simpson

“No. I’ve killed her! It’s all happening again!” – Barney Gumble

“We’ve come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversize novelty hat. Now, go get us some incriminating footage. And remember: you have to get in and out in ten minutes or you’ll suffer permanent neck damage.” – Kent Brockman “He’s not kidding.” – Previous Hat Wearer

“At first I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “You’re selling what now?” – Homer Simpson “I’m selling only the concept of karmic realignment.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “You can’t sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos!” – Homer Simpson “He’s got me there.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson “No.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Are we in India yet?” – Homer Simpson “No. . . . Oh, wait . . . now we are.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“This is what I think of your store!” – Customer “Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“Is he still out there?” – Homer Simpson “Yes, he’s raking leaves.” – Marge Simpson “What?  That’s your job!  If he starts doing Lisa’s wood chopping . . . ” – Homer Simpson

“Apu, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.” – Homer Simpson

“I’m sorry, Apu, I have no choice.  You can no longer wear this name patch, and you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles.  Now, turn in your pricing gun . . . the other one, too.” – Executive Happy 20th anniversary to “Homer and Apu”!  Original airdate 10 February 1994.

“No!  Don’t kill me!  I didn’t know there was film in that camera in that hat!  I was unaware!  I was unaware!” – Homer Simpson “Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me.  In my village, this is the traditional pose of apology.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Oh.” – Homer Simpson “You know, now that I think about it, it may be a little confusing.  Many have died needlessly.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“Well, sir, Homer’s illness is either caused by ingesting spoiled food or by some sort of voodoo curse.” – Dr. Hibbert “Hey, we’ve just been working the eyes.” – Patty Bouvier

“I’m coming with you.  I got you fired, it’s the least I can do.  Well, the least I can do is absolutely nothing, but I’ll go you one better and come along.” – Homer Simpson

“Good evening, here’s an update on last week’s nursing home expose ‘Geezer’s in Freezers’.  It turns out the rest home was adequately heated, the footage you saw was of a fur storage facility.  We’ve also been told to apologize for using the term ‘geezers’.  Now, coming up next, the case of the cantankerous old geezer.” – Kent Brockman