“And he was cast into the fiery cauldron of Hell! The searing heat! The scalding rivers of molten sulfur!” – Reverend Lovejoy “Ahh, I’m there.” – Bart Simpson
Tag: Homer the Heretic
Quote of the Day
“I’m tired of having this argument every Sunday. Get dressed!” – Marge Simpson “Oh, stupid itchy church pants. . . . One size fits all, my butt!” – Homer Simpson “C’mon! We’re going to be late.” – Marge Simpson “Forget it. I’m not going.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I have a responsibility to raise these children right. And unless you change I’ll have to tell them their father is, well, wicked.” – Marge Simpson “Kids, let me tell you about another so called ‘wicked’ guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas, and he didn’t always do what other people thought was right, and that man’s name was . . . I forget. But the point is . . . I forget that, too. Marge, you know who I’m talking about, he used to drive that blue car.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Any valuables in the house?” – Total Disaster Insurance Agent “Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars…” – Homer Simpson “Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made up stuff.” – Total Disaster Insurance Agent “Well, that’s just great.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Get up, Homer, it’s time for church.” – Marge Simpson “I don’t wanna go.” – Homer Simpson “It’s church. You have to go.” – Marge Simpson “Too cold out.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“C’mon, TV, gimme some of that sweet, sweet pep…” – Homer Simpson “Let’s define our terms, gentlemen. Are we talking about redistricting or are we talking about reapportionment?” – Municipal Roundtable Guy “Oh, well. Can’t win ’em all.” – Homer Simpson “We interrupt this public affairs program to bring you a football game.” – TV Announcer “Yes!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“How’s that door coming, Willie?” – Reverend Lovejoy “Miracles are your department, Reverend.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Quote of the Day
“You ducks are really trying my patience! . . . But you’re so cute.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“Who wears short shorts?” – The Royal Teens “I wear short shorts!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing, but then God himself told me I should seek a new path.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, really?” – Reverend Lovejoy “Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream and I knew that was special cause I usually dream about naked . . . Marge.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, what are these axes for?” – Barney Gumble “I don’t know. Chopping stuff.” – Chief Wiggum “Gotcha.” – Barney Gumble “That’s some nice choppin’.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“It’s 11 KBBL degrees below zero, I hope you’re someplace warm!” – Bill “You bet your sweet . . . ass!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hello, work? This is Homer Simpson, I won’t be coming in tomorrow. Religious holiday, the, uh, feast of . . . maximum occupancy.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer, please don’t make me choose between my man and my God, because you just can’t win.” – Marge Simpson “There you go again, always taking someone else’s side: Flanders, the water department, God.” – Homer Simpson Happy birthday George Meyer!
Quote of the Day
“I can’t believe you’re giving up church, Homer.” – Marge Simpson “Hey, what’s the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn’t God everywhere?” – Homer Simpson “Amen, brother.” – Bart Simpson “And don’t you think that the Almighty has better things to worry about than where one little guy spends one measly hour of his week?” – Homer Simpson “Tell it, Daddy!” – Bart Simpson “And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week we’re just making God madder and madder.” – Homer Simpson “Testify!” – Bart Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer the Heretic”! Original airdate 8 October 1992.
Quote of the Day
“Dad, can I ask you a question?” – Lisa Simpson “Sure, honey.” – Homer Simpson “Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?” – Lisa Simpson “Don’t worry, sweetheart, if I’m wrong, I’ll recant on my deathbed.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You know what I really hate about church? Those boring sermons.” – Homer Simpson “I couldn’t agree more. That Reverend Lovejoy really displeases me. I think I’ll give him a canker sore.” – God Happy birthday George Meyer!
Quote of the Day
“Thou hast forsaken my church!” – God “Well, kind of, but-” – Homer Simpson “But what?” – God “I’m not a bad guy, I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?” – Homer Simpson “Hmm, you’ve got a point there.” – God Happy birthday George Meyer!
Saturday Afternoon Cartoons
“I’m whizzing with the door open, and I love it!” – Homer Simpson Ahem: 56 F. C. C. 2d, at 98. Our society has a tradition of performing certain bodily functions in private, and of severely limiting the public exposure or discussion of such matters. Verbal or physical acts exposing those intimacies are offensive irrespective of any message that may accompany the exposure. Fuck you, FCC.
Rehashing the “Bart Show” Myth
“Homer, I’d like you to remember Matthew 7:26, the foolish man who built his house on sand.” – Rev. Lovejoy “And you remember . . . Matthew . . . 21:17.” – Homer Simpson “‘And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and he lodged there.’?” – Rev. Lovejoy “Yeah, think about it.” – Homer Simpson I greatly enjoyed Splitsider’s “Classic Simpsons Week” series. On the whole, it was a nice look back that didn’t sugarcoat just how far the series has fallen from grace. I didn’t agree with every opinion presented, but such is the nature of opinions. One piece I read, however, is factually inaccurate and perpetuates a longstanding Simpsons myth, one that even very knowledgeable fans will repeat without thinking. Under the headline “The Bart Show: When The Simpsons Were Almost Much Worse”, Mike Drucker falls for the old saw that there was a “Bart” era at the beginning of the show. Briefly put, this is the idea that at the dawn of The Simpsons the show was mostly about Bart, and that it then transitioned into being a show about Homer. It is completely false, albeit very understandable. The article opens: With all this jibber-jabber about The Simpsons not being as good as it was when the writer was 12 (see: The Saturday Night Live Effect), it’s easy to forget that there was an early period in the show’s popularity when it was ready to take a turn for the much worse. Catchphrase-filled bumper stickers, key chains, video games, and music albums all pointed in one direction: The Simpsons was becoming the “Bart Show.” That’s as good a description of why this myth exists as any. “Bartmania” was very real, for a while there you couldn’t get away from the Simpsons generally – and Bart specifically – in the form of everything from tchotchkes and t-shirts (official and less so) all the way up to hit songs and national commercials. That alone would’ve been noteworthy enough, but it was made even more pervasive by the enormous backlash. From local PTAs all the way up through the sitting President of the United States, hidebound guardians of America’s youth roared their opposition in every medium available. When FOX announced that the second season of its subversive hit would go head to head against The Cosby Show, at the time America’s favorite wholesome family sitcom, all bets were off. The Simpsons was a genuine phenomenon, politically, culturally, and economically, and Bart was literally the poster child for it. The show itself, however, never got swept up in the hysteria. As I’ve pointed out before, when you actually look at the first four seasons (1 & 2, 3 & 4) there’s no evidence of Bart dominating. Bart and Homer were always very evenly matched in terms of how often each of them got the big storyline, and there were always plenty of episodes where neither of them was the main character. The people writing all those…