“Homer, you will find her a man!” – Marge Simpson “Alright.” – Homer Simpson “And not just any man!” – Marge Simpson “Okay.” – Homer Simpson “He should be honest and caring and well off . . . and handsome.” – Marge Simpson “Hey! Why should she have a better husband that you do?” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Principal Charming
Happy Simpsons Day!
“Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!” – Principal Skinner Happy Simpsons Day, everybody! Today marks the 30th anniversary of “Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire” and the beginning of the best ten-ish year streak in television history. I’m sure there are a lot of retrospective pieces up around the internet today, but as you can tell from the near total lack of substantive posts around here, I don’t think there’s much left to be said, so you’re on your own for finding them. About that total lack of posts: I…
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Must find man. Must find man. Must find man.” – Homer Simpson
Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day
“Sodium tetra-sulfate is highly caustic and can remove your skin. Say when!” – Mrs. Krabappel “That will do.” – Martin Prince “What’s this stuff for?” – Bart Simpson “It’s chiefly used in the manufacture of rayon’s film and as a preservative in fast foot. It’s also quite a potent herbicide.” – Martin Prince “What’s a herbicide?” – Bart Simpson “It kills grass.” – Martin Prince “Excellent.” – Bart Simpson
Makeup Quote of the Day
“Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’ll unload the kids on Patty and Selma Saturday night and then we’ll eat until they kick us out of the place, just like old times!” – Homer Simpson “Saturday night? I’m not even sure my sisters will be available.” – Marge Simpson “I’ll take that bet.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I’ll tell you one thing: Greasy Joe is sorry he ever saw the likes of me.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I don’t see why all this is necessary.” – Patty Bouvier “C’mon, Patty, you don’t want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.” – Marge Simpson
Quote of the Day
“If it isn’t little Jimmy Pierson, class of ’71 I believe.” – Principal Skinner “Good evening, Principal Skinner.” – Jimmy Pierson “Pierson! Get this woman a glass of water immediately, and tuck in your shirt . . . Nearly thirty and still working as a busboy. I tell you, standardized testing never lies.” – Principal Skinner “
Quote of the Day
“F . . . L . . . oh, no, I’m sorry, that’s a C, isn’t it?” – Hans Moleman “If that was an oncoming vehicle you’d be dead now! Next!” – Patty Bouvier “But driving is my livelihood.” – Hans Moleman “Oh, take it like a man.” – Patty Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Bart, I’m flabbergasted! Surely you knew as you were writing your own name in forty-foot high letters on the field that you would be caught.” – Principal Skinner “Maybe it was one of the other Barts, sir.” – Bart Simpson “There are no other Barts!” – Principal Skinner Sam Simon would’ve been sixty-years-old today. Happy birthday.
Quote of the Day
“I’m going to cancel.” – Patty Bouvier “No, you’re not.” – Selma Bouvier “We already have plans for tomorrow night.” – Patty Bouvier “Patty, your first date in twenty-five years is a little more important than playing hearts with mother.” – Selma Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Friends, relatives, work related acquaintances, we are gathered here today to join Stanley and Martha in holy matrimony.” – Reverend Lovejoy
Quote of the Day
“Aunt Selma, do you think you’ll ever get married?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, I don’t know. Why? You know somebody?” – Selma Bouvier “No. And since I’m sure that you’d only resent the pity of an eight-year-old niece, I’ll simply hope that you’re one of the statistically insignificant number of forty-year-old single women who ever find their fair prince.” – Lisa Simpson
Crazy Noises: Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts
As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another. More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things. The only kind of on-line communications we like are the kind that could once be done at 2400 baud. So disable your call waiting, plug in your modem, and join…
Quote of the Day
“And then, when I got out of the service . . . the . . . uh . . . well, the next few years are a blur.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Remember you promised you’d try to limit pork to six servings a week?” – Marge Simpson “Marge, I’m only human!” – Homer Simpson Happy 20th Anniversary to “Principal Charming”! Original airdate 14 February 1991.
A Flapping Dickey of Outdated Gay Jokes
It goes almost without saying that American culture has changed in a lot of ways since the Simpsons family came on stage in the late 80s. In addition to the usual twists and turns of taste in everything from music and clothing to movies and cars you would expect over any two decade stretch, the last twenty plus years have also seen an enormous expansion in the civic space afforded to gay and lesbian Americans. People who were seen as so culturally toxic that even referring to them on television was all but forbidden in 1989 have become commonplace in…
Quote of the Day
“She broke my heart, Moe.” – Barney Gumble “Don’t worry Barney, time heals all wounds.” – Moe “Well, whaddya know? You’re right. And look, a whole pitcher to myself.” – Barney Gumble
Quote of the Day
“Homer, do you remember our last family vacation when you made us go to the Bowlers’ Hall of Fame in St. Louis, Missouri so you could see that car shaped like a giant bowling pin?” – Marge Simpson “Remember? Who could forget.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Homer, lighten up, you’re making happy hour bitterly ironic.” – Moe