“Beaten by an infant. What could be more humiliating?” – C.M. Burns “What a scoop!” – Paparazzo
Tag: Rosebud
Quote of the Day
“Here are several fine young men who I’m sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.” – Mr. Smithers “Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.” – C.M. Burns “I’d just like to say this gig sucks.” – Joey Ramone “Hey, up yours, Springfield.” – Johnny Ramone
Quote of the Day
“Remember, Smithers: in and out in eighteen seconds.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“I’m sure he’ll over us a fair reward. . . . And then we’ll make him double it!” – Marge Simpson “Huh?” – Homer, Bart, & Lisa Simpson “Well, why can’t I be greedy once in a while?” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday, Julie Kavner!
Why Zombie Simpsons Is Unkillable
“Is it my imagination, or is TV getting worse?” – Lisa Simpson “Enh, it’s about the same.” – Homer Simpson NOTE: I’m in the process of shopping an expanded version of “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead” to publishers. I don’t know whether or not it will ever make it to store shelves, but if it does, the following would be one of the new chapters. (If you end up reading it again in a bookstore a year from now, try to look surprised.) I’m publishing it today in light of Alf Clausen’s firing, which…
A Small Example of Typically Astonishing Dialogue from “Rosebud”
“I’m so funny! This is gonna be great!” – Homer Simpson “What are you doing?” – Marge Simpson “I’m writing a delicious send up of Mr. Burns for his birthday party. Is “poo-poo” one word or two?” – Homer Simpson The Simpsons wouldn’t be what it is without the acting, the animation, the music, the sound effects, and everything else, but ultimately it all derives from the writing, and the writing on the show was as finely honed as any artistic masterpiece. Consider this brief stretch of dialog from “Rosebud”: Homer: “Ow. Where did I lose ’em? I’ll never wiggle…
Quote of the Day
“Naturally I can’t pay you much of a reward because I’m strapped for cash. . . . As you can see, this old place is falling apart.” – C.M. Burns
Compare & Contrast: Burns’s Childhood Trauma
“Wait, you forgot your bear! A symbol of your lost youth and innocence!” – Papa Burns First, a brief update: I have been pedaling around the Midwest for a couple weeks now. After six days on the road, I departed my home state of Michigan on a ferry to Wisconsin, then went south through Chicago, across Indiana, and made it into Ohio last Saturday. For the last few days I’ve been staying with Mad Jon and his wife here in Cleveland. The most obvious mistake I made in planning this trip was to massively over-estimate how much free time I would…
Quote of the Day
“Every time Mr. Burns has a birthday, all his employees have to help out at the party, and I always get some terrible job.” – Homer Simpson “Where is that dratted pinata?” – C.M. Burns “Ow….Ow….Ow….Missed me!….Ow.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“My life can’t get any worse.” – Homer Simpson “Homer Simpson, report for much worse duty.” – Mr. Smithers “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“The Burns bear, perhaps the most valuable little bear in the world, could be anywhere. It could be in your house. You could be looking at it right now. It could be right in front of your face as I’m saying this, waggling back and forth, perhaps being help up by a loved one.” – Kent Brockman “Maggie, I’m trying to watch TV. Put that moldy old bear down. Moldy! Old! I’m gonna get something to eat!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s not funny! . . . And the one in my pants really hurts.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, I’m so happy! Something amazing has happened, I’m actually happy! Take a note: from now on, I’m only going to be good and kind to everyone.” – C.M. Burns “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t have a pencil.” – Mr. Smithers “Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll remember it.” – C.M. Burns
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“Simpson, look what you’ve reduced me to.” – C.M. Burns “Please! Please!” – Mr. Smithers
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“Excuse me, we wanted to see the geek who valued the happiness of his children more than money.” – Nuclear Plant Guy #1 “Right here.” – Homer Simpson “Aww, you said his head was the size of a baseball.” – Nuclear Plant Guy #2
Quote of the Day
“Hey! No one-termers.” – Burns Security Guard “You too, huh? Hey, I know a good yogurt place.” – Jimmy Carter “Get away from me, loser.” – Bush the Elder Happy 20th Anniversary to “Rosebud”! Original airdate 21 October 1993.
Quote of the Day
“Who needs his money? We’re getting by okay.” – Homer Simpson “Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don’t have any insurance! So, how’s by you?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it.” – Bart Simpson “Ooh, a head bag. Those are chock full of heady goodness.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Quote of the Day
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday.” – Marge Simpson “Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns’ foibles, if done with the greatest of care, could earn Dad a special place in the old man’s heart.” – Lisa Simpson “Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
Left image from here, Marilyn Monroe died fifty years ago today. “On another topic, the preparations for your birthday have begun.” – Mr. Smithers “I won’t get what I really want.” – C.M. Burns “No one does.” – Mr. Smithers “Happy birthday, Mr. Smithers.” – Fantasy Burns