“Is it supposed to take this long? What’s a good time for a mass evacuation of the entire plant?” – C.M. Burns “Forty-five seconds.” – Mr. Smithers “And what’s our time so far?” – C.M. Burns “I don’t know, sir, this stopwatch only goes up to fifteen minutes.” – Mr. Smithers Programming Note: Real life has once again very rudely interfered with my bitch-about-Zombie-Simpsons time the last couple of weeks, which is why this post is four days(!) late and I haven’t done a Compare & Contrast for either of the Season 25 episodes so far. Thanks to baseball there…
Category: Behind Us Forever
Behind Us Forever: Homerland
“Anybody lose their glasses? Last chance. Woo-hoo! The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.” – Homer Simpson “That’s a right triangle, you idiot.” – Guy on Toilet “D’oh!” – Homer Simpson Season 25, here we go: They start the year with their first joke of the season about how lame it is to be on after all these years. That didn’t take long. But the couch gag makes the same joke and does take too long. The Homeland opening credits are well done,…
Behind Us Forever: The Saga of Carl & Dangers on a Train (And Season 24!)
“So long, suck-ahhh!” – Bart Simpson Because FOX sucks at scheduling, how about a two episode season finale? Why not!: After a clumsy introduction they’ve convinced themselves that repeating the phrase “Ki Ya” over and over again is funny. Also, why is Marge bathing Bart? This video with Pascal, in a voice that sounds like Azaria trying to keep himself awake, is just as boring as a real museum exhibit. I miss the zinc filmstrip. “Because people always laugh when you say sixty-nine. No one knows why.” – I bet this line got a big laugh in the screenwriting elective…
Behind Us Forever: Fabulous Faker Boy
“My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh, God, I’m ugly!” – Homer Simpson Well, it was certainly nice of the Robot Chicken guys to eat up ninety seconds of screentime with that opening. And it’s a good thing they did, because if this scene with Marge and Skinner is any indication, we’re mostly in for filler here. Skinner is now playing a guitar he pulled from behind his desk as surely as if it was a rabbit from a hat, and this goes on until well after Marge had left the building. Sideshow Mel is now giving Bart music…
Behind Us Forever: Whiskey Business
“Your bowtie is just darling.” – Rene “Well, thanks. Yeah, it kinda draws the eye away from the old mug.” – Moe [Note: Apologies for not getting this up yesterday. I’m having grotesque technical problems at the spinoff site and reliable ratings numbers were delayed a day by NASCAR overrun anyway.] They don’t take long to get right into the shitty writing, do they? Immediately after showing us the 2009 Oscars on the TV, Homer says exactly that. Zombie Simpsons really doesn’t trust the audience to pay attention in the least, do they? Looks like we’re doing sad Moe this…
Behind Us Forever: Pulpit Friction
“Hey, look, those frogs are eating all their crops!” – Homer Simpson Marge has to yell in church to get everyone to sit down, and meanwhile Lovejoy was just standing at the pulpit waiting patiently? I know they don’t care about this stuff, but it really destroys scenes. And the new guy is also just standing there before he starts describing Lovejoy for no reason. Color me surprised, they remembered the bed bug thing for one brief scene after the first segment. Usually they just drop it all together. And Homer electrocutes himself because of course he does. Why is…
Behind Us Forever: What Animated Women Want
“Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever . . .” – Selma Bouvier [Note: It has become apparent, much to my disappointment, that I cannot run a website that criticizes Zombie Simpsons without, you know, watching the damn episodes. So I’m going to try this out as a low effort way to make fun of them and give people a place to bitch.] Oh look, a Breaking Bad opening that comes after that show has been cancelled and the internet did a better job a full year ago. “The coolest sushi restaurant in town” – Springfield continues to resembled…