“I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: The Way We Was
Quote of the Day
“That word you keep calling me.” – Homer Simpson “Ignoramus.” – Artie Ziff “Ignoramus! It means I’m stupid, doesn’t it?” – Homer Simpson “There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.” – Artie Ziff “Not to me there isn’t!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Comin’ through!” – Barney Gumble “Barney!” – Homer Simpson “Oh, yes, they call him the Streak!” – The Larry Davis Experience “Well, that young man’s bought himself about a decade of detention.” – Principal Dondelinger Happy birthday, Al Jean!
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah, junior varsity shot putter. I think if he applies himself, you know, trains real hard, hits the weights, he could go another foot.” – Coach Flanagan “I had him for four years! Solid C student. Made a lamp last year!” – Mr. Sikovski
Quote of the Day
“Well, where to now, Romeo?” – Limo Driver “Inspiration Point.” – Homer Simpson “Ooh, okay, but I’m only paid to drive.” – Limo Driver
Quote of the Day
“You know, that nuclear power plant will be opening soon. It’s one of the few outfits around that won’t require a college education.” – Guidance Counselor “Me in a nuclear power plant? Heh-heh-heh, kaboom!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Ooh, lost a few. Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“This year’s topic is, Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour.” – Mrs. Blumenstein “Fifty-five? That’s ridiculous! Sure, it’ll save a few lives. But millions will be late!” – Homer Simpson “Why don’t you take con.” – Mrs. Blumenstein
Primetime Cartoons
“Back up or it’ll hurt your eyes.” – Homer Simpson “Oh, it will not.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yes it will.” – Homer Simpson First off, all the chapters of the “Tapped Out” minibook are now live here at the site. If you’ve been waiting to read it for free, now you can. Thank you to everyone who has purchased it, linked to it from message boards and aggregating sites, or simply read it. Now onto my next hair brained scheme . . . I’ve threatened to start a regular Simpsons watching liveblog here a couple of times now. With the…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?” – Barney Gumble “I wouldn’t go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould!” – Estelle “Oh, shot down again.” – Barney Gumble “Hey, don’t worry, Barney, it’s a big school. There’s got to be a girl nobody else wants to take to the prom.” – Homer Simpson
Reading Digest: Homer Impregnates Patty & Selma Edition
“Is Marge here?” – Homer Simpson “Who?” – Patty Bouvier “Or what, are you?” – Selma Bouvier “I’m her date.” – Homer Simpson “I suppose you want to come in and sit down.” – Patty Bouvier “Oh, okay.” – Homer Simpson “Marge’s dates get homelier all the time.” – Selma Bouvier “That’s what you get when you don’t put out.” – Patty Bouvier It’s that weird week of the year between Christmas and New Year’s, when internet traffic plummets, the news goes into recycle mode with cheap posts about best this and worst that, and nobody much talks about The Simpsons…
Quote of the Day
“Homer Simpson, I thought you dropped out.” – Principal Dondelinger “You wish, Dondelinger.” – Homer Simpson “That’s Mister Dondelinger.” – Principal Dondelinger
Behind Us Forever: What Animated Women Want
“Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever . . .” – Selma Bouvier [Note: It has become apparent, much to my disappointment, that I cannot run a website that criticizes Zombie Simpsons without, you know, watching the damn episodes. So I’m going to try this out as a low effort way to make fun of them and give people a place to bitch.] Oh look, a Breaking Bad opening that comes after that show has been cancelled and the internet did a better job a full year ago. “The coolest sushi restaurant in town” – Springfield continues to resembled…
Quote of the Day
“You know, I can’t believe we’re talking about the same movie. I thought McBain was a non-stop rollercoaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills! And that chase at the end, my friend?” – Not Ebert “Are you nuts? That movie stinks like your creepy one bedroom apartment.” – Not Siskel “Your mother didn’t think it was so creepy.” – Not Ebert “My mother, real mature. I’m sick of your grade school insults.” – Not Siskel “I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You may not remember me. I’m Homer Simpson, I mooned for rebuttal.” – Homer Simpson “Yes, I remember.” – Marge Bouvier Happy birthday Al Jean!
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Homer, you’re late for English.” – Barney Gumble “Pfft, English, who needs that? I’m never going to England.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“If you pinch your cheeks they’ll glow . . . a little more. Try to break some capillaries, dear.” – Jacqueline Bouvier “Couldn’t we just use rouge for this?” – Marge Bouvier “Ladies pinch, whores use rouge.” – Jacqueline Bouvier
Quote of the Day
“Homer, do you have any plans for after graduation?” – Guidance Counselor “Me? I’m gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“So, uh, what are you in for?” – Homer Simpson “I’m a political prisoner. Last time I ever take a stand.” – Marge Bouvier Happy birthday Julie Kavner!
Saturday afternoon Cartoons
“Wait a second, is that a bong? . . . You have asthma? . . . Alright, move along.” – Principal Dondelinger The care that The Simpsons put into every episode remains impressive all these years later. Take Principal Dondelinger, a bit part created to act as the unwitting matchmaker for Homer and Marge back at Springfield High School in the 1970s. Early in the episode, he catches Homer and Barney smoking regular cigarettes in the bathroom. In response, he gives them detention and calls them “Springfield’s answer to Cheech and Chong”. Later in the episode, he confronts a nameless…