“I could’ve been equipment manager . . . but, nooooo.” – Milhouse van Houten
Tag: Lisa on Ice
Quote of the Day
“In that case, I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island! . . . Don’t worry, it’s just a name.” – Chief Justice “He said it was just a name!” – Lisa Simpson “What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula!” – Monster Island Resident Geography Expert
Quote of the Day
“Oh yes, we won! We won! We won! Um, unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, heh . . . uh, we won’t be going for pizza.” – Chief Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“I better go check that out. Now, Homer, don’t you eat this pie.” – Marge Simpson “Okay . . . Alright, pie, I’m just gonna do this . . . and if you get eaten, it’s your own fault. . . . D’oh! Oww! Ohhh, my . . . oh the hell with it.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“It’s Channel 6, Action News!” – TV Announcer “Ah, Action News, the last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Milhouse, knock him down if he’s in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Look! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!” – Lisa Simpson “Wow, eye of tiger, mouth of a teamster! To think of all the time I wasted on you!” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“I don’t want anyone to give her a hard time just because she’s different. No jokes. No taunting. . . Ah, haha! Look! That kid’s got bosoms! Who’s got a wet towel? C’mere you butterball!” – Homer Simpson “Don’t make me run. I’m full of chocolate!” – Uter
Quote of the Day
“I think women should be able to play any sport men play, but hockey is so violent and dangerous. Look at Milhouse’s teeth.” – Marge Simpson “Mom, will you stop showing us those.” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Children, that was our only ball. There’ll be no team this year.” – Vollyball Coach “Awwww.” – Girls
Reading Digest: Weak Defenses of Zombie Simpsons Edition
“I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight. How about letting her ride up front too?” – Marge Simpson “Eh, I tried.” – Homer Simpson As was inevitable as soon as FXX decided to run the marathon consecutively, instead of something more humanitarian like banishing Zombie Simpsons to the unemployable alcoholic angry loner hours, there have been some defenses of Zombie Simpsons cropping up in the last few days. To start things off, we’ve got three of those, followed by another overflowing pile of other great stuff. We’ve got several links to fan art, lots of people reminiscing…
Quote of the Day
“At seven tonight the game begins. Bart vs. Lisa, who will win? Their father’s fat and their mother’s thin and Grampa Simpson reeks of gin.” – Sherri & Terri “Hey! That’s Obsession for Men!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“You really think I did okay out there, Mom?” – Lisa Simpson “Absolutely, honey. By blocking the net, I really think you helped your team.” – Marge Simpson Happy birthday Mike Scully!
Quote of the Day
“Tell you what, Simpson, I won’t fail you if you join one of those pee-wee teams outside the school.” – Gym Teacher “You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?” – Lisa Simpson “Look, I don’t need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning.” – Gym Teacher
Quote of the Day
“Muntz, Nelson, you’re failing history, geography and math, but you’re doing quite well in home ec.” – Principal Skinner “Hey, keep it down, man.” – Nelson Muntz
Quote of the Day
“Nice PJs, Simpson! Did your mommy buy ’em for you?” – Jimbo Jones “Of course she did. Who else would have?” – Bart Simpson “Alright, Simpson, you win this round.” – Jimbo Jones Happy birthday, Tracey Ullman!
Quote of the Day
“And how are the little kids doing? I mean, really how are they doing? Any disabling injuries, something, say, that the gambling community might not yet know about? C’mere, let me see those knees.” – Moe “Moe, I think you should leave.” – Marge Simpson “But Blanche, you gotta help me out here, please! I’m sixty-four grand in the hole! They’re gonna take my thumbs!” – Moe
Moderate Usage
“I know. How about we play the basketball. I’m no Harvey Globetrotter, but-” – Marge Simpson “Ahh. . .” – Bart Simpson Yesterday afternoon, venerably contradictory web magazine Slate published an article called “Has Liz Lemon Become “Dumbass Homer”?”. (As you can probably guess, it’s about whether or not 30 Rock is going downhill the way The Simpsons did.) Set aside the question mark in the headline for a second and look at that term, “Dumbass Homer”. I’ve probably called Homer a dumbass before, but it’s not a capitalized term I’ve ever seen people use. The term commonly in use,…
Quote of the Day
“Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the principal’s office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. Damn it, I wish we hadn’t let the students name that one.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Hey, hey ya there Midge. Oh gee, I like what you done to your hair.” – Moe “You caught me at a real bad time, Moe. I hope you understand I’m too tense to pretend I like you.” – Marge Simpson
Reading Digest: Pro Sports Edition
“Mom, this is really scary. I’m going to get my first F ever.” – Lisa Simpson “Cheer up, so you’re not good at sports. It’s a very small part of life.” – Marge Simpson “Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports.” – Homer Simpson Sometimes The Simpsons helps explain sports, and sometimes sports takes after The Simpsons. This week there’s a bit of both as we’ve got a sideburns related NBA trade theory, an NHL goalie whose keen on Flanders, some excellent NFL lockout related usage, and an explanation for Bart’s birthday that involves soccer. In addition to those,…