“Now we just sit by the mailbox and watch the money roll in.” – Homer Simpson “But you’re going to annoy thousands of people just make a few measly dollars. It’s nothing but panhandling!” – Marge Simpson “Tele-panhandling.” – Homer Simpson
Tag: Lisa’s Date with Density
Quote of the Day
“You think this stolen H is a laugh riot, don’t you? Well, I’ll tell you something that’s not so funny! Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl! . . . I guess it is a little funny.” – Principal Skinner
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“Guess who likes you?” – Nelson Muntz “Milhouse, I’m so sorry.” – Lisa Simpson “He can’t hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.” – EMT
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“Holy jumping Caesar’s catfish! My H has been stolen! Oh, that’s how people know it’s a Honda! What’s the point of having a Honda if you can’t show it off?” – Superintendent Chalmers Happy 20th Anniversary to “Lisa’s Date with Density”! Original airdate: 15 December 1996.
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“And, should there be a request for an encore, we will reprise Pop Goes the Weasel. Otherwise, we will file out quietly.” – Mr. Largo Happy birthday Danny Elfman!
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“You got anybody in mind for your next crush?” – Milhouse van Houten “Well, I’m really not thinking about that now. I suppose it could be almost anybody.” – Lisa Simpson “Yes!” – Milhouse van Houten
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“Lisa! The cops are chasing me, I need a place to hide!” – Nelson Muntz “Lisa’s window is the next one.” – Homer Simpson
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“What do you feel? What’s inside you right now?” – Lisa Simpson “Guts. And black stuff. And about fifty Slim Jims.” – Nelson Muntz
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“I’ve always admired car owners, and I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off Mother. She insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child.” – Principal Skinner “Yeah, yeah, uh, unfortunate. Well, Seymour, I make superintendent money, which amply covers both food and car.” – Superintendent Chalmers
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“An automatic dialer? Is that legal? I don’t want you getting arrested, Homer.” – Marge Simpson “I won’t.” – Homer Simpson “Or swindling our neighbors.” – Marge Simpson “Let me show you how it works.” – Homer Simpson
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“Please don’t ruin this for me, Bart. I think he’s starting to like me.” – Lisa Simpson “Milhouse likes you.” – Bart Simpson “Oh, please, Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast.” – Lisa Simpson
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“I like you too, Milhouse, but not in that way. You’re more like a big sister.” – Lisa Simpson “No, I’m not. Why does everybody keep saying that?” – Milhouse van Houten “Would you do me a favor? When you get back to class, just give him this note.” – Lisa Simpson “Ohhh.” – Milhouse van Houten “Please.” – Lisa Simpson “When she sees you’ll do anything she says, she’s bound to respect you.” – Milhouse’s Brain “Sure, what’s a big sister for?” – Milhouse van Houten Happy birthday Pamela Hayden!
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“Oh, man, you kissed a girl!” – Dolph “That is so gay.” – Jimbo Happy birthday Mike Scully!
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“Wait a minute. These are not sprinkles, sir.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “What do you mean?” – Homer Simpson “You’ve clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them on top of the donut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Well, it was like that when I got here, it really was!” – Homer Simpson “A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle! A Twizzler is not a sprinkle! A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Compare & Contrast: Lisa’s Romances
“Well, I guess this is it.” – Lisa Simpson “You mean, like, goodbye?” – Nelson Muntz “Let’s just call it, smell you later.” – Lisa Simpson Around the edges of “Lisa’s Date with Density” you can see the problems that, given a few years, would swoop in and eat the show from the inside out. The emotions are a bit contrived in places, Nelson’s not quite the bully we know, and the plot has to cheat a few times to wrap itself up. But in Season 8 those things are peripheral, the core of the story and the episode fit in with the place we know as Springfield and the characters who inhabit it. Just as importantly, while there’s no denying that Lisa and Nelson are acting a bit more adolescent and less kid like than they should, there’s still a recognizable childishness and humanity to them that makes the story work. Lisa doesn’t, for example, develop her crush on Nelson because of some cliched contrivance. He doesn’t save her from something; nor does she glimpse him in a candid moment of tenderness when he thought no one was looking. She just laughs at him being him, in this case tormenting Groundskeeper Willie. This is one of those things that just works in The Simpsons. We in the audience get to laugh at Groundskeeper Willie; Nelson (in detention) and Lisa (in band practice) are being themselves (and so are the other kids with their “x likes y” refrains); and the main story moves along without resorting to nonsense. “And that’s how Willie waters.” By contrast, in “The Daughter Also Rises” Zombie Simpsons employs a “meet cute”, one of the more hacktacular ideas ever to come out of the entertainment industry. (It’s a concept so durably overused that it has its own article on TV Tropes and Wikipedia.) That they call it a “meet cute” isn’t a joke, it’s just them describing what’s happening. Where’s the joke in Lisa gushing and her new beau throwing a fork in the air? Or their stilted flirting as they instantly anticipate a love for the ages? There isn’t one, the whole thing is dead-eyed, paint-by-numbers crap. Hollywood is littered with writers and actors who can do this scene in their sleep, because it’s not just a trope, it’s an adult trope for adult performers and adult characters. Things just get worse from there. Lisa and Nick go through three goofy set pieces, each one the same kind of sly, fake-clever horseshit. First they’re at an outdoor cafe, where this supposed kid is looking all charming and suave in a gray suit. Then they’re in a montage where they hang out a balcony, on top of a climbing wall, and Moe’s (of all places) as they go through a few vaguely Hemingway type situations. And finally, Nick shows up at the Simpson home with a bottle of wine before he charms both Marge and Maggie (we’ll get to the after-dinner fiasco in a second). None…
Quote of the Day
“Well, most women will tell you that you’re a fool to think you can change a man. But those women are quitters!” – Marge Simpson “What?” – Lisa Simpson “When I first met your father, he was loud, crude, and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he’s a whole new person.” – Marge Simpson “Mom?” – Lisa Simpson “He’s a whole new person, Lisa.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, I know.” – Lisa Simpson
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“Then I’m sentencing you to one week of the lowest, most degrading work known to man: janitorial work!” – Principal Skinner “Ah, I’m standing right here, sir.” – Groundskeeper Willie
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“Well, looks like we put the kibosh on another two bit telephone swindle, boys. Frankly, I would’ve expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag.” – Chief Wiggum
Reading Digest: Nobody Likes Zombie Simpsons Edition
“Nobody likes Milhouse!” – Mr. Largo Most weeks I’m content if I find one link where someone mentions how much worse Zombie Simpsons is than The Simpsons. This week I found four! It was a good week for it too, because I had to ignore about thirty links to posts of the “Simpsons mentioned South Park . . . durrrr” variety. There’s also a very old commercial for the show, more graffiti than the “Graffiti Edition”, real life Duff Beer, and a guy who looks like Dr. Nick. Enjoy. Rare Television Commercials – There are a number of neat, old timey commercials at the link, including this: It’s remarkable what you can do with the rights to so much of 20th Century Fox’s back catalog. B-Real Of Cypress Hill Talks Metalhead Roots, The Simpsons And Non-Medical Marijuana – There’s YouTube, and at the six minute mark the interviewer mentions their turn on the show and asks what the craziest thing they ever ordered was. B-Real thinks it was crocodile meat in Brazil rather than the London Symphony Orchestra. Things I Love – I had trouble with the images here, but there is this: 2. Old Simpsons episodes The quote’s off, but I don’t care. Homer Simpson Postage Stamp Groom’s Cake – Click for a picture of a spectacular cake made to look like the Homer postage stamp. Nice try, Bart, but you miss the point…. – At least one other person thought Zombie Simpsons missed the point with their chalkboard thing. It’s not quite the same take I had, but it’s in the same ballpark. more adventures in corporate Hollywood totally misunderstanding the Internet – I didn’t think the fake movie opening from last week’s episode was anything other than an excuse to use some terrible puns. And it doesn’t surprise me that Zombie Simpsons failed to register the URL for their fake movie. Doing that would indicate that they care in the least about the quality of what they do. Harrisburg’s Waste To Energy To Insolvency – Harrisburg, Pennsylvania would’ve been better off with a monorail. (Bonus points for mentioning the escalator to nowhere.) The Simpsons Street Art – Graffiti Comes To Life – I know the graffiti edition was last week, but here’s a bunch of cool images anyway. I particularly like the chalkboard one that says “I must not copy what I see on the Simpsons”. Yellow? – A list of ten awesome things that are yellow. Simpsons is on here, right next to “The Magic School Bus”, man, I loved that book. There’s also a list of ten bad yellow things. Top 10 Musical Episodes: ‘Buffy,’ ‘Scrubs,’ ‘The Simpsons’ and More! – I haven’t seen most of the episodes on this list, but if you’re picking musical episodes, why ring in with the awesome but relatively brief musical number from the otherwise non-musical “A Fish Called Selma” when “Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious” was all awesome musical numbers? Conchords land Simpson’s gig! – The guys from “Flight of the…
Crazy Noises: Lisa’s Date with Density
“‘Nuke the Whales’? You don’t really believe that, do you?” – Lisa Simpson “I dunno, gotta nuke something.” – Nelson Muntz In an attempt to fill the summer with love, hate and pointless Simpsons commentary we at the Dead Homer Society are going to spend some time overthinking Season 8. Why Season 8? Because Season 8 is when The Simpsons really began to deteriorate into Zombie Simpsons. That’s why. Because we’re cutting edge and ultra-modern we’re using a newfangled, information-superhighway fad called a “chatroom” to conduct our conversation. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “Skittle-brau”). Today’s episode is 807, “Lisa’s Date with Density“, and we’ll be back tomorrow with 808, “Hurricane Neddy“. Mad Jon: I saw “Walk the Line” there a few years back. Stupid Phoenix brothers. One’s dead and the other should probably be dead, although I hear he is retiring from making films to ahem focus on his music career. Dogstar you better watch your step! Charlie Sweatpants: Hehe, feel like channeling any of that rage towards Lisa’s Date with Density? Mad Jon: oh sure Dave: heh Charlie Sweatpants: Any initial thoughts on the whole Lisa gets a crush on Nelson thing? Mad Jon: It’s a character growth episode. And for that matter it is sort of an secondary character growth episode, so it’s got one strike from the get go Charlie Sweatpants: I’m probably going to sound like a broken record before we get through all of Season 8, but again this struck me as a very TVish plot. Good girl falls for the bad boy who actually has a sweet side, learns a lesson about life and love and then everything goes back to normal. It felt like every 80s and 90s family sitcom had an episode like that. Mad Jon: Your observation is valid Dave: the setup was completely contrived – and then we got 15 minutes of a formulaic relationship bingo, Charlie Charlie Sweatpants: And normally when the Simpsons did something like that they would undermine it, here they just play it straight ahead. Mad Jon: yep, but I feel the pre-plot part of the episode was pretty funny Dave: it was not without its charm, I admit. also, we got “smell you later” from this episode Mad Jon: I always love a quick banter with Supernintendo Chalmers Charlie Sweatpants: Skittle-brau is hilarious. Dave: did I ever send you guys the link to skittles-infused vodka? it instantly made me think of Skittle-brau Mad Jon: Probably, but I drink “I’m troubled” Charlie Sweatpants: Oh wait, nevermind, this isn’t the Skittle-brau episode, this is the one where Homer puts the candy on the donut. Mad Jon: A jolly rancher is not a sprinkle sir Dave: maybe in Shangri-la it is Charlie Sweatpants: That’s what I was thinking of. Though it’s a good example of Season 8 level comedy, where many if not most of the individual gags are still funny and it’s the main plot that just disappoints and eats time. Think of all…