Tag: The Old Man and the Lisa

“Oh, my, I wonder which is the cereal for me? . . . Oh, excuse me, could you tell me where I might find the Burns-Os?” – C.M. Burns “Sorry, pops, they don’t put nobodies on cereal boxes.” – Krusty the Klown “Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.” – C.M. Burns

“Simpson, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?” – Mr. Smithers “I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. But I don’t remember what it was, so I’m watching TV.” – Homer Simpson

“I’ll keep it short and sweet: family, religion, friendship, these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don’t want to be driving to the maternity hospital or sitting in some phony baloney church . . . or synagogue.” – C.M. Burns

“And the windows are from the old liquor bottles we collected. . . . Hey! I thought I told you to stop licking my windows!” – C.M. Burns “I know. You told me. And when I woke up this morning, I said, Barney, you’re not gonna lick that man’s windows…” – Barney Gumble

“Ketchup, catsup, ketchup, catsup . . . I’m in way over my head.” – C.M. Burns

“Excuse me, Mr. Burns, now that you’re completely ruined, how do you feel?” – Kent Brockman “Excellent. I’m on my way back to the top! I’ve turned these cans into can-do!” – C.M. Burns “Well, you smell terrible. Good luck to you, sir.” – Kent Brockman Happy 20th Anniversary to “The Old Man and the Lisa”! Original airdate 20 April 1997.

“There’s gotta be more trash around here somewhere.” – Lisa Simpson “Hey, why don’t you try the old folks home? They practically live in their own filth.” – Homer Simpson

“Here you go, honey. That’s about all the recycling I can handle today.” – Homer Simpson “Dad, if you just drink one more I’ll have a full bag.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, daddy doesn’t feel so good.” – Homer Simpson

“They’re not going to close the plant, are they?” – Marge Simpson “No, the bank put Lenny in charge.” – Homer Simpson

“And I’m sure a pro wrestler such as yourself will appreciate all the closet space, Hitman.” – Real Estate Agent

“Homer, you didn’t tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost the nuclear power plant.” – Marge Simpson “Now, I can’t remember every little thing that happens in my day.” – Homer Simpson “You told me about that candy bar you found three times!” – Marge Simpson “You found a candy bar?” – Bart Simpson “Oh, yes, gather round, my son, and I shall tell you a tale.” – Homer Simpson

“You mean there are actually people who will pay good money for garbage?” – C.M. Burns “Not good money, really, each can’ll get you a nickle.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, don’t poo poo a nickle, Lisa.  A nickle will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake, and a newsreel, with enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the Polo Grounds.” – C.M. Burns “There’s a can.” – Lisa Simpson

“Which do you think is more important: hard work or sticktoitiveness?” – Principal Skinner “Are there any real questions?” – C.M. Burns

“Sorry, we’re not allowed to read newspapers.  They angry up the blood!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

“Where are you taking me?  What’s happening?” – C.M. Burns “Relax, you’ve gone off your nut, so we’re stuffing you into an old folks home.  Those store guys signed the commitment papers.” – Chief Wiggum

“Oh recycling is useless, Lis.  Once the Sun burns out, this planet is doomed!  You’re just making sure we spend our last days using inferior products.” – Bart Simpson