“Stop! Doesn’t the Bible say, ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged’?” – Lisa Simpson “The Bible says a lot of things. Shove her.” – Wiggum
Tag: Treehouse of Horror VIII
Quote of the Day
“If they’re really witches, why don’t they use their powers to escape?” – Lisa Simpson “That sounds like witch talk to me, Lisa.” – Homer Simpson “Nevermind!” – Lisa Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Oh, Spade, why did you put Farley in charge of the bees?” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds! . . . Oh, I’ve wasted my life.” – Comic Book Guy
Quote of the Day
“Not everyone died in the blast, Homer. Some of us were merely horribly mutated.” – Dr. Hibbert “You’re mutants?” – Homer Simpson “Uh, we don’t like the word ‘mutants’, Homer. We prefer ‘freaks’, or ‘monsters’.” – Moe
Quote of the Day
“Nice try, Floyd. But you were designed for scrubbing and scrubbing is what you shall do.” – Professor Frink
Quote of the Day
“Homer, you know how unpredictable the French are. One minute they’re kissing a woman’s hand, the next they’re chopping off her head. What if they start a war?” – Marge Simpson “Relax, I built a bomb shelter.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Well, that’s seventy-five witches we’ve processed. That ought to show God whose side we’re on, eh pastor?” – Nedwin Flanders “Yes, Nedwin, but we have many more strumpets to incinerate.” – Pastor Lovejoy
Compare & Contrast: Twist Nuclear Endings
“Do your worst, you filthy, pretentious savages!” – Mayor Quimby For evidence that Zombie Simpsons is utterly bereft of ideas that can even be called creative, much less original, one need look no further than the fact that for the second time in a year they made an episode where the family departs Springfield to go live in the wilderness with survivalist nutbars. But that isn’t the most damning thing about “Homer Goes to Prep School”, because the closest thing to this episode isn’t even another episode, it’s a post-apocalyptic Halloween segment from a decade and a half ago. The…
Quote of the Day
“You are all hereby found guilty of the crime of witchcraft. I sentence you hags to be burned at the stake until you are deemed fit to reenter society.” – Sprynge-Fielde Mayor Quimby
Quote of the Day
“Mom, Dad, help! He’s trying to kill me!” – Lisa Simpson “Nobody likes a tattle-tale, honey.” – Homer Simpson
Quote of the Day
“And that’s how an heroic hippo became a deputy.” – Kent Brockman “Stupid hippo.” – Homer Simpson
“Pray Anything” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
It’s a pity that I don’t have a way to tabulate just how much time they spend off topic in these Zombie Simpsons commentaries, because this one might have set a record. Even by their standards there are several impressively long tangents about things that are only connected to the episode by the thinnest of threads. I think my favorite might be when they talk about how you can’t actually swim around in a flood. Speaking of floods, this episode ends with one. Homer has blasphemed the church such that the entire town floods up to roof level, at which…
Reading Digest: Halloween Television Edition
“Thanks to my prudent editing, tonight’s special Halloween show has been rated TV-G. This means there will be no raunchy NBC style sex, or senseless CBS style violence.” – FOX Censor There are many, many links this week to Halloween teevee things. There are lists, there are videos, there are meditations on Halloween television generally, and there are two people who compare last week’s rotten episode to lousy candy. Oh, and there are several people who agree with us. Beyond that there’s some blog love, some feminist environmentalism, some beer, and some excellent usage. Before we get to that though,…
Quote of the Day
“Goody Simpson is entitled to due process.” – Quimby “Okay, here’s how the process works: you sit on the broom and we shove you off the cliff.” – Wiggum “What?” – Goody Simpson “Well, hear me out. If you’re innocent you will fall to an honorable Christian death. If, however, you are the bride of satan, you will surely fly your broom to safety. At that point you will report back here for torture and beheading.” – Wiggum
Quote of the Day
“I stand by my ethnic slur.” – Mayor Quimby
Crazy Noises: Treehouse of Horror VIII
“Oh hi, as the FOX censor, it’s my job to protect you from reality.” – FOX Censor There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September, so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders). So…
Synergy Lashes Out
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user Robotskirts. “Let’s come to our senses everyone, this witch hunt is turning into a circus.” – Goody Simpson Once again setting aside the ridiculously high number (6.1), this is now the third week in a row that IGN’s Simpsons review has been downright harsh. Not only did they think Cletus was overused, but they hated on the Wiccan storyline almost without exception. There’s no doubt in my mind that this isn’t going to be a permanent trend, but it still makes my job easier and as a profoundly lazy person I…
Quote of the Day
“What the hell was that?” – Kodos “Calling home planet, this is Ensign Kang reporting a cigar shaped object moving at tremendous speed.” – Kang “Sure Kang, I’m writing it all down.” – Rigel IV Control
Quote of the Day
“Two bucks, and it only transports matter?” – Homer Simpson