“Hey hey! I’ve been in Reno for six weeks! Did I miss anything?” – Krusty the Klown Good news, everyone: I’m not dead, I’m no longer homeless, and that overwhelming global pandemic has (mostly) subsided! Those things have been true for a couple of years now, but what’s new is that I just spent a couple hours messing around with the WordPress theme here and buying this spiffy new domain (deadhomers.com). To my great amusement, someone squatted on deadhomersociety.com when I was too broke to afford it. Enjoy it, algorithm bot, it’s worth it to me for the story alone.…
Tag: Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)
Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?
“Hey, hey! I’ve been in Reno for six weeks, did I miss anything?” – Krusty the Klown Back on Simpsons Day I mentioned a gigantic side project. Well, here it is. “Global Warming: What’s In It For You?” is a (semi-illustrated) guidebook for climate change. It begins with the historic and scientific background, moves through the denier campaign and all the damage it has wrought, and debunks a lot of pretty myths and widespread misperceptions. It also affords me several opportunities to take big dumps on some truly vile people and conglomerates, including Exxon, InBev, and Disney. Basically, I tried…
Quote of the Day
“Hey, if you guys are getting loaded off them fumes, I’m gonna have to charge ya.” – Moe “Man alive! There are men alive in here.” – Safety Inspector
Makeup Quote of the Day
“They didn’t approve my idea. They said it was unfeasible.” – Bart Simpson “It is unfeasible to resurrect the dead, Bart. And even if the Three Stooges were alive, I doubt they’d want to hang around with you.” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, yeah. I guess they’d probably want to be with their families or something, huh?” – Bart Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Hey, the lamp’s running away.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Quote of the Day
“Superintendent, we made the front page today!” – Principal Skinner “What’s that say under your hand there?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Oh, it’s an unrelated article.” – Principal Skinner “It’s an unrelated article?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Um-hmm.” – Principal Skinner “Within the banner headline?” – Superintendent Chalmers “Yes.” – Principal Skinner
Quote of the Day
“Listen, someone’s got to get that Mr. Burns. Where’s a gun toting lowlife when you need one?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “Sorry, I was in the can.” – Snake
Quote of the Day
“A non-profit organization with oil? I won’t allow it! An oil well doesn’t belong in the hands of Betsy Bleedingheart and Maynard G. Muskievote!” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday Josh Weinstein!
Quote of the Day
“Since the beginning of time, Man has yearned to destroy the Sun.” – C.M. Burns Happy 20th Anniversary to “Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 1)”! Original airdate 21 May 1995.
Compare & Contrast: Burns Drills
“Oil, ho!” – Slant Drilling Worker “Huzzah!” – C.M. Burns “Opposites A-Frack” offers more than a few opportunities for comparing and contrasting. Burns falls in love again, Homer gets a new job again, Burns asks Homer for romantic advice again. I even briefly contemplated comparing it to those episodes on 30 Rock where hyper-capitalist Alec Baldwin has a secret affair with ultra-liberal Congresswoman Edie Falco, just for a change of pace. But Burns drilling for gas underneath Springfield is too on the nose from “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1” to pass up. In both episodes, Burns is drilling into the Earth…
Quote of the Day
“That’s it, frimble about with your widgets and dobobs. It’ll all be a monument to futility when my plan comes to fruition.” – C.M. Burns
Quote of the Day
“Sir, have you had enough exercise for this morning?” – Mr. Smithers “No. Let’s go another twenty miles.” – C.M. Burns Happy birthday Harry Shearer!
Quote of the Day
“Willie, sometime over the holiday weekend, the beloved grade four gerbil, Superdude, lost his life. I need you to air out the classroom and give Superdude a proper burial.” – Principal Skinner “You’re lucky you’re getting a decent burial. Me own father got thrown in the bog.” – Groundskeeper Willie
Reading Digest: Fuck the Huffington Post Edition
“Dear Lord, that’s the loudest profanity I’ve ever heard.” – Ned Flanders This week’s title will explain itself on the third link. Other than that, we’ve got lots of usage, an unbelievably awesome Surly costume, the triumphant return of Simpsons embroidery, and lots more. Enjoy. Forever Lisa Simpson – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this new Tumblr featuring some of Lisa’s greatest moments. The best part? It’s starting at the beginning so there’s no Zombie Simpsons. after the fall – Our old friend at tacocatproductions returns with a kickass Dr. Nick embroidery . . . and a tattoo…
Quote of the Day
“Why is it when I heard the word ‘school’ and the word ‘exploded’ I immediately thought of the word ‘Skinner’!?” – Superintendent Chalmers
Quote of the Day
“Ah, soon that mighty apparatus will burst forth with its precious fluid. Almost sexual, isn’t it, Smithers?” – C.M. Burns “Enh.” – Mr. Smithers
“Little Girl in the Big Ten” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“It was naive of you to think I would mistake this town’s most prominent one-hundred-four year old man for one of my elementary school students.” – Principal Skinner This is yet another of those Season 13 episodes that epitomizes the vapid hyperactivity of Zombie Simpsons. After becoming an accomplished gymnast in the span of about thirty seconds, Lisa accidentally befriends some college students who think she’s one of them. Yes, this is a massively stupid teevee trope (especially when it’s used seriously like this); no, the writers do not care. Don’t worry though, worse things are coming. You see, Bart…
Quote of the Day
“Hmm, sounded large when I ordered it. (sighs) I can’t make hide nor hair of these metric booby traps.” – C. Montgomery Burns
Synergy Has a Small Suggestion
“There’s some candy right here, sir. Why don’t we eat this instead of stealing?” – Mr. Smithers IGN is finishing the season strong. Not only does this week’s agitprop praise transparently hackneyed story shortcuts (see: Moe’s interactions with the Lovejoys and the Nahasapeemapetilons), but goes so far as to offer a suggestion about how it could’ve been even better! IGN couldn’t ignore the stupidity of using an elopement with Moe as the plot fulcrum, but rather than ignore the awful fake tension it put on the rest of the episode, they offered up a little change and called it a…
Zombie Simpsons Ruins Another List
Zombie Simpsons has cheaply cashed in on the success of its preeminent forerunner in many, many, ways. One of the most prominent is by cramming musical guests into episodes with little to no purpose and few, if any, jokes. This list, which purports to be the top ten musical guests, contains only 60% real Simpsons. The White Stripes, Lionel Ritchie, Metallica and Green Day all make the cut from Zombie Simpsons (or the movie), but none of the following from actual good episodes do: Tito Puente (Who Shot Mr. Burns 1 & 2) Cypress Hill (Homerpalooza) Peter Frampton (Homerpalooza) Tony…